At a loss for this wedding shower

It's so wonderful that you're taking the health of the Bride and everyone into consideration. Kudos for that . I'm a bride and more or less giving the direction to my mom/sister on the shower. It's suppose to be in July with my wedding in August.

I agree that outdoors would be a good idea. We're doing my shower at a winery, some of us staying in an inn on the grounds. I've been to a few at parks or wineries and it's such a lovely setting! If you have some nicer parks near you, I'd check there they are usually affordable. Or if you have a brewery or winery near by with picnic tables that are first come first serve - you could use those just get there early! The later could be fun cause then it could be part of a theme with a tasting. Good luck!

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This is also our back up plan if we are restricted to 20 or less In July. My MOH told me the shower venue holds 100. If we can max at 50% capacity in July we should be okay as there's 50 guests invited. I don't think all 50 will show. The only difference is we are meeting in one hour increments. I couldn't imagine a 6 hour wedding shower. Our actually wedding won't even be that long. Good luck to you!

We registered on Honeyfund, and will be mailing out an announcement that we are registered. My shower has been cancelled

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This could be a great compromise for you.

However, I would stand firm with telling the groom's family, "no mask, no party for you." This shower is your show to run and they have to abide by YOUR rules. If they want to put the bride and other guests at risk, they won't be allowed to attend. If they want to throw their own separate shower with their personal rules, that is up to them (and the bride if she wanted to attend that), but this shower is yours to give the final say on.

Frankly, even if the bride isn't taking the risk to her own health seriously, I would be anyway. Either a virtual or drive-by shower or I'm not planning/hosting. The last thing you want is for her to get sick and then spend your time/life feeling guilty for her foolishness. I'm speaking as an immunocomprised person myself.

Do you know if a shower is super important to the bride and any idea what she may want it to look like?

Some brides really don't care much about showers, and it may very well be that she is super focused on the wedding. I would be much more concerned that my wedding could happen and having pre-wedding events would make me nervous that someone would get sick before the wedding. We opted to cancel all of our pre-wedding events in hopes our wedding could actually happen as we wanted. Our focus was always on the wedding and the bach parties and pre-wedding celebrations would have been nice, but canceling them was not a major issue for us.

If the bride is immunocompromised, I honestly think it would be pretty irresponsible to throw her an event where social distancing is not an absolute priority. Regardless of how seriously she takes it, I would feel awful if I was responsible for hosting an event for a bride and she got sick because of it. The fact that her future in-laws don't seem willing to compromise their own aesthetic preferences for her safety is really concerning. It would be one thing if everyone was generally young and healthy but to openly defy all of the expert guidance and put a loved one at risk is just shameful.

In this case, if you are dead set on going through with a bridal shower, I think you absolutely need to have the event outdoors, limit the number of guests considerably, and have social distancing precautions in place. Someone suggested a rotation of different groups and I think that's a really good idea. Others have mentioned a virtual shower and I think this is really something the bride needs to offer an opinion on. We had to postpone our wedding and are having a minimony on our original date and my FH is adamant that we don't do a Zoom or livestreamed wedding of any kind. Many people have embraced virtual events as a way to connect when people cannot physically get together, but it's never something we considered for our wedding and we'd rather be physically present with 10 people than digitally connected to 50.

So my shower is in July and we have having an all-day affair.

Older family- Breakfast/brunch 11-1:30 (10-15 people) -homemade waffles, bacon, eggs, toast, bagels, assorted cheese, juice bar, mini desserts (mom and sister taken care of food and drinks)

Work family/- Lunch friends 2-4:30 (12 people)-assorted wraps, sandwiches, salads, chips, guacamole, salsa, fruit plate, cheese and crackers, mini desserts- mimosa bar

(boss insist on hosting)

430-7 rest and regroup - night time drinking and dancing (15 people including B&G)

Our friends (game night/wedding shower) 7-10pm taco bar (meat,chicken veggies) guac,pico,sour cream, cheese, chips, sandwiches, assorted desserts from earlier, Fondue dessert milk and white chocolate w/ pretzels, fruits, marshmallows etc. (best man/matron of honor)

This will all be outdoors in mothers backyard with plenty of room for social distancing. And believe it or not the guys actually came up with the idea the ladies had to tweak it and finalize it.

I just talked with a friend and she is having a zoom baby shower in August. we’re still planning a normal in-person bridal shower for myself the end of August, but for immuno-compromised, I totally think Zoom parties are really the way to go. What better way to include those who live further away and can’t travel for both the shower and the wedding.


Honestly though, I think you should either have it in-person or Zoom only. I really think it would be hard to balance giving attention to Zoom attendees when others are actually standing there. And if as you say there are many not adhering to social-distancing guidelines they are likely the ones to show up in-person and disregard any boundaries that the bride may need for her own health and safety. There are definitely some cute games that could be played through Zoom. Gifts could be mailed ahead of time and wait until during the Zoom shower to open. I know I’m really missing the in-person fellowship and hugs, but it’s going to take awhile before we get back to normal.

Does the bride want a shower? I actually did NOT want a shower of any kind- my MOH was adamant about me having one. With the restrictions it's looking like that won't be possible after all.

If the bride wants one, maybe see if anyone has a backyard big enough for a small shower. If she doesn't want one, then just see if you can get the bridal party together, the brides mom and FMIL for something small.

Maybe can draw some social distancing circles out in the outdoor venue and ask the guests to wear masks. I feel it's basic human respect to be considerate for others' health and the guests should be OK with that.

We are planning my bridal shower to be in April 2021 with a June 2021 wedding. May is too busy of a month for my MOH and I.

Thanks all,

The bride is brushing me off whenever I've mentioned the shower so I really can't get her help with this. She's decided she doesn't want to think about the wedding or anything involved with it until 4 weeks before. She's also not listening to much news on COVID or following information on it at this time so she doesn't have a strong opinion to share with me.

It is not possible to host an outdoor shower here in August, it's so hot some people might have medical issues and there are biting flies.

I am considering scheduling it for after her wedding and letting everyone know "In order to keep our bride and groom happy and healthy on their big day, we are scheduling this for after the wedding. We wouldn't want them to get sick and miss their special day". I am told that the groom's family may be outraged and host something without me. If they do, I will bring all of this to the bride's attention, but at that point it is out of my hands. I can only do so much without her support. If she is afraid of confrontation or being assertive with her wishes I will do the best I can, but that is all I can do.

I am very frustrated and angry with lots of different recent events on the news and what is happening right now. I am very frustrated and angry they don't take the bride's health seriously because she is also my family. But I am also trying to be realistic about what is in my control and trying not to get too overworked about things I can't control, because there is A LOT I wish I could change right now. In light of more recent news this week, I now have additional tensions/considerations piling on. I know if I try to force change on others, even if well-intentioned, it's not going to result in a positive outcome. I'll just try my best.

It’s sounds like you’re being considerate which is so sweet. But keep in mind, if you’re eating as most do at showers, there will be no masks. I personally am not comfortable going inside a restaurant that I’m not familiar with right now because of it. I really like they others who’ve thought outside the box and doing the different times. Kudos to them. I want to go hang out with Naikesha because her day sounds perfect!

Hi Bee!

yes this will be a challenge. I personally would not have anything. If her immune system is compromised and her in-laws will not respect that issue that is not appropriate and the Bride as uncomfortable as it may be her health and the health of others need to be considered. Keep close updates on the count for the state you live in. I know this is a challenge, I am experiencing this myself. My wedding was scheduled for 10/24/2020 with 160-170 guest. I am in Florida and we decided to postpone until next year. My bachelorette party was to have been in July in New Orleans among other things. So believe I understand what you want to do and what you may be able to do. Good luck with this.

Honestly if you know the groom's family will not cooperate it's safe to sy for the sake of the bride being at high risk to do a special celebration for her only and maybe less than 10 guest that you know will cooperate with the safety precautions to keep her safe and hold the rest via zoom. The most important thing is the union of this couple and sharing all your love and happiness with them on their special day. Post and pre celebrations are amazing but given the circumstances I'm sure she is really just hoping she's able to have her big celebration in October! Maybe spoil the bride in ways you know she will love and appreciate that will help and encourage her more for her big day

If bride's side and friends would wear masks, have the shower for them. Groom's family can have a separate one, if they want to. Often they do anyway. Suggest they do a zoom one.

Ya I just had my wedding on June 13.... 37 people. And he’s a shower with about 15 people the week before . It was lovely! Didn’t need or expect it under the circumstances