Emily
Dedicated August 2022

Are bachelorette trips normal?

Emily, on November 22, 2021 at 2:28 AM Posted in Parties and Events 2 39
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Hi everyone! Wondering what your opinions on bachelorette trips are. My bridal party is planning one for me and my sister-in-law (bridesmaid) can’t make it because she’ll have a newborn baby (I 100% understand and support that). But my future MIL said she probably wouldn’t have made it anyway, even if she weren’t having a baby, because she wouldn’t have wanted to pay for a trip, and that it’s not normal/fair to have a bachelorette trip. I wanted to keep the cost down so chose a location where most of the bridesmaids can drive to and we’re staying for a few nights.


Wondering if any of you planned a trip for your bachelorette or got pushback/judgement for wanting one?

39 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, today at 1:16 PM
  • devotedlydavis
    Devoted March 2022
    devotedlydavis ·
    • Flag
    It’s completely normal to have a bachelorette party. Maybe not when you’re MIL got married, but most people have one now. I like your idea of trying to keep costs down, it’s much appreciated when you’re a bridesmaid and also have to buy a dress, etc.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think this really depends on your social circle. I live less than an hour outside of a major city so no one in my circle has done an actual days long trip for their bachelorette. Just a night out in the city and sometimes a hotel/Airbnb for the night if we were drinking or going to a late show. As long as all your girls wanted to go and you’re allowing anyone to skip who can’t make it work, you’re fine!
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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    My experience has been similar to Sarah's. I live about 2 hours outside of Atlantic City and about 45 minutes away from NYC, so bachelorette parties are typically to 1 of those 2 destinations and are at most involve 1 night in a hotel or airbnb. The trend of multi-day parties that require extensive travel are pretty new. They can be a lot of fun I'm sure, but it's quite a large time and financial investment for the bridal party to essentially go on a whole vacation for a pre-wedding event. If everyone is in agreement, then that's awesome. But I feel like that's 1 of those things that everyone really needs to be in agreement on or they have to be OK with people dropping out. Not everyone has PTO or the funds for multiple days of a trip.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert May 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Agreed with PP, all the states I've lived in, bachelorette parties are a one-night-out-on-the-town kind of thing, nobody does trips or multiple day things. Most bridal parties are made up of a mixed social circle, and I wouldn't want to spend all that money and time away with people I don't really know. But if people want to do these trips, that's totally their choice, and guests who aren't comfortable with it don't have to go!

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  • S
    Expert September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think it really depends on your social circle and the area you live in. Trips are more common now than they were when your MIL was young, so I think that’s where she’s coming from. But most bachelorette parties I’ve been invited to have been trips.
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  • Sarahk
    Dedicated December 2021
    Sarahk ·
    • Flag
    I always thought it was. I grew up in Philadelphia and most the bachelorette trips were to Vegas, Miami, Cancun. I decided to have a low key one in Napa since my friends are now older and have children. It really is about your circle.
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  • Candace
    Devoted March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    Bachelorette trips are normal for people who can afford it. I've never been invited on a bachelorette trip but I can't imagine any of my people asking me to spend hundreds of dollars on one. It's usually a night on the town.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    Definitely depends on your circle. I chose to have mine a few days before my destination wedding in our location, and it was primarily one day, though there were smaller activities the day before and after. But all of my girlfriends have had destination trips—Scottsdale, Vegas, Newport, Vermont, Nashville…in my case, no one lives where they grew up so friends and family are spread all over the place. Only one of my bridesmaids was local to me, so a one day party wouldn’t have made sense.
    Just avoid the subject with your MIL and shut it down if she brings it up! It’s only the business of the attendees.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Devoted August 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Bachelorette trips are definitely becoming more and more common. My mom finds them to be incredibly rude - but I think she's mostly referring to trips to expensive destinations (her best friend's daughter was asked to go on 3 bach trips in one year and one was the Disney World, one was to LA, and one was NYC and she lives in Tulsa, OK and that's what's been driving my mom's major beef with them).

    Like Kylie mentioned, you can't really plan a one day event if your friends are scattered all across the country, but you also just have to be prepared that some people will pass because of the cost.

    A friend of mine invited me to her bach weekend in Nashville but I had to pass because I didn't have the vacation time or wiggle room in my budget to make it work (and trust me, my FH and I tried to find the wiggle room). I was honest with her and told her why and we had a wine night at her house a few weeks later instead!

    My wedding is a destination wedding, so I've already asked my MOH to keep than in mind when she gets to planning my bachelorette party. My 'maids are spread out across Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, and North Carolina so it'll have to be a weekend and have to be a bit of a destination trip, but I asked that it was driving distance for everyone but the one in NC, and I said I didn't want a ton of extra activities everyone would be paying for. I think we're going to get a luxury cabin and just hang out there for the weekend with drinks, a lake, rom coms, and alllll the snacks.

    I considered having mine a few days before our destination wedding, but I worried that would be asking my gals to be taking too much time off work and I didn't want them to have to worry about what to do with their significant others or hotel rooms.

    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Devoted February 2022
    Chloe ·
    • Flag
    I had a bachelorette trip, and have been invited to three others before - I think it's becoming more common. Especially with flights as cheap as they are, everyone can travel to a different location for a weekend trip. But my Man of Honour really did everything to keep the costs down for mine, so that it wouldn't become an issue for the girls. We had a blast, he knew the owners of the house we were staying in, so we only had to pay for the utilities. But it's a "know your crowd" kind of situation - I knew my girls would love the idea and that they would see it as a fun vacation, not a burden to deal with.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Where I am from, a bachelorette party is a single night out on the town: going out for dinner and drinks and then go home. Everyone has a great time and they look forward to that more than the modern alternative.


    Outside of vaguely hearing about the expensive destination weekend sleepovers on Entertainment Tonight and people going into detail on WW why they don’t want to participate (too expensive, too far away, etc), I have never encountered them in real life and they don’t sound a fun time what I have read. Everyone has to have the the same vacation time from work, same $$$$ income to afford travel expenses, same extrovert personality and be BFFs with everyone attending because you are in closed quarters for the duration. That is not realistic for a lot of people and no one should ever be pressured or guilt tripped by anyone because they don’t feel comfortable or they don’t want to spend their money and PTO that way.
    My bridesmaids are all in the same friend group so theoretically it would be ideal according to the criteria but I don’t want a destination weekend sleepover and it’s not their style either.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    VIP November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    I would say bachelorette trips are becoming more and more popular; especially since people have made them “a thing” on Instagram. In our circle, we typically did bachelorette parties (not bach trips), but the past few weddings I have been in, we have done weekend trips. I think as long as that is what the person hosting the bachelorette event wants to do, and at least the majority of people are on board with it, then there’s nothing wrong with it. Like you mentioned, I would definitely try to keep the costs low. As much fun as bachelorette trips are, they are still requiring a lot of your group.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Super May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I definitely polled my girls to see if they’d prefer a separate trip or connected to the bach! I think it’s so important to know your crowd and create open lines of communication where people can feel comfortable sharing budgets, etc. In my case, some of my girls flew in with their SOs and stayed with them. For the others whose SOs flew in later or were single, I paid for a villa where we could all stay so there would be no extra accommodations costs.
    I love cabin bachelorettes!! I hope you have a blast at yours!!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated August 2022
    Emily ·
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    That makes sense! Most of my group doesn’t live in the same town as me so they’d have to travel anyway to meet up in the same city, so a night out just wasn’t realistic for us. Plus most of us like to travel so I think most of the girls preferred a short trip over one night out.
    • Reply
  • Ashlee
    Expert September 2022
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag

    In my case, half my bridal party is in Nebraska, and half is in New Jersey, so we picked a place that is in the middle, it's about 10 hours from both locations, so if anyone wanted to drive, it's an option (just a really long road trip) but it's also a popular enough destination for cheaper flights. Hopefully it won't break the bank for anyone. We decided on a trip because regardless, some people would have to travel.

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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    I'll expose myself as an old fuddy-duddy.

    When I got married, having a bachelorette trip - that is, more than just one night on the town or whatever - was something only brides having very expensive weddings did. It generally showed up in lists with titles such as "how to take your bachelorette REALLY over the top!" and "luxury bachelorette ideas," alongside things like super expensive chef's table experiences and such. It was not something everyone did, and it was not expected that everyone would.

    Nowadays, it seems like all I ever see is "my bachelorette weekend".

    I personally cringe at this. I don't see why anyone needs a 3+ day rager because they're getting married. Most people's bridesmaids are not a tightly knit group, so you're forcing people whose only thing in common with each other is you to get along and have fun for several days. And in some cases, expecting them to take off MORE time from work than they already are for your wedding, and expecting them to be away from home and their families. Not my idea of a good time. I would never go on a bachelorette trip.

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  • Shannon
    Dedicated July 2022
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    I went to a close friend’s bachelorette party in New Orleans over 10 years ago. We all flew from NJ and there were only 5 of us. We had the best time most care free time and I still think about it and laugh. So, it all depends on the group. Don’t let MIL put a damper on plans.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated August 2022
    Emily ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I’m in the same scenario with my bridesmaids!
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert November 2021
    Heather Online ·
    • Flag

    Bachelorette parties are totally normal! I had a bachelorette trip with just my wedding party (4 other girls). We live in Vegas, and we just went to Cali for the weekend.

    My girls actually surprised me to a show at Magic Mike to start off the bachelorette weekend. After that we were starving so we went to eat KBBQ. Then we headed out to Cali the next day. I didn't want to go to the club, go to a fancy bar, etc. because that's not what I wanted. My cousin who got married back in 2019 wanted to go all out but it was fine because that is who she is! She's a party girl! So if anything I just really wanted a nice fun vacay with my girls in which I definitely did. I always love going to Cali because I love the weather and I like being at the beach. We went to nice dinners, drank by the beach, had quick runs to Starbucks, and we just had a fun time at the Airbnb.

    For expenses, I definitely wanted to keep costs low. However, certain things were out of my control since they surprised me all weekend and wouldn't let me pay for anything lol. The only thing they let me pay for was the Airbnb since I booked it under my name. Since they would not accept any money from me to pay them back, I just made sure to get them really nice wedding gifts.

    My group of girls all know each other and we all get along really well. I've been a part of some bachelorette parties where there were SO many girls and usually whenever it was a big group there was drama.. So, it's totally up to you on what YOU want. I'm sure you know your circle better than anyone. If you don't want one then that's fine too! Smiley smile Again I just wanted a nice mini getaway vacay with my girls and it became one of THE best trips with my girls EVER! And when it comes to expenses discuss that with your girls so that way maybe you can come up with a compromise so everyone has fun.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
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    I agree with this completely
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