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Savvy September 2018

Approaching 1 year anniversary / Wedding Video Trigger?

Simplicity, on August 19, 2019 at 4:12 PM Posted in Married Life 0 5

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Hi Everyone we are approaching 1 year anniversary and I would like to know to my fairly newlyweds couple what has been the hardest for you during year 1? For me its been a roller-coaster of emotions and figuring things out but I will say it is getting better in some aspects. Patience and understanding is really what I am trying to get better at and self evaluate myself. One thing I learned is everyone marriage dynamic is DIFFERENT so do not compare and do what's best for you and your partner. I do have one issue which is our wedding video. First of all I regret the vendor we chose I feel like my wedding photos aren't anything special and I really don't have any pictures I love. I know its confirmed because my mom looked at the photos and said she doesn't really like any of them and I agree with her. I don't feel beautiful when I look at them and I am normally someone who is confident with my appearance but that day wasn't it for me. I am still torn between if its my expectations of being a bride that has be all messed up or just that I didn't look my best. They say your wedding day you suppose to feel the most beautiful but I did not and for that reason I RARELY post any pictures or show any to friends. I was very depressed post- weddings due to family drama that altered my whole experience.. well down to almost 1 year later I am having mix feelings about watching my wedding video because I feel it will trigger me and/or will remind me of the empty void I felt that day due to family drama on top of not feeling beautiful. Anyone ever felt like this before?? Any advice? I also really appreciate this forum for the support and advice / non judgment from community.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Simplicity, on August 21, 2019 at 1:29 PM

Expert November 2019
Kiley · on August 19, 2019 at 4:53 PM
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I don't have any experience with this, but I think you should watch the video when you are ready. Try to change the narrative in your mind before hand... ACTIVELY look for the positives in the video.. not the people who hurt you, but memories you may not be recalling right now due to feeling hurt.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on August 19, 2019 at 5:51 PM
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There’s so much pressure for the wedding day to be perfect. Of course it can’t be. It’s okay that you didn’t feel your best or weren’t surrounded by people who offered you the support you deserve because it’s still the day you made a lifelong commitment to your spouse. When you’re ready, watch the video and treasure it for what it is.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 20, 2019 at 1:34 AM
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If you don’t love your pics, what about redoing a photo shoot all dolled up again? (If your spouse is open) If I didn’t love my pics and there was a lot of family drama I would want a vow renewal just the two of us for the private experience and the photos. If not possible next year, maybe for a 5 year anniversary?
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Devoted September 2018
OldSchoolKindaLove · on August 20, 2019 at 9:49 AM
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I understand exactly how you feel. I absolutely HATE every single wedding picture I have. I haven't even showed them to my mom because I hate them so much. Also my husband hates them, so we have decided to just throw them away.
I still don't have the wedding video, after almost a year. We picked bad vendors all the way around! I have what I like to call "entire wedding day regret" it's the only way I can describe it. We settled for a venue we didn't love, we settled on my uncle as the photographer, we settled on basically everything.....Ugh! Basically, I don't feel like I had my wedding.....It's going on a year and I still have wedding blues, even therapy doesn't seem to help.
Perhaps your wedding video turned out wonderful? I completely understand the negative thoughts and anxiety of watching the video all to be let down once again. Honestly I would let someone like my mom or really anyone who I trust watch it and tell me if it's worth my time. Just be sure you can 100% trust the person to not sugar coat or lie to you.
I have seen where a lot of couples have been doing one year anniversary photo shoots, especially those who didn't like their wedding day pictures. Wishing you the best!
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Savvy September 2018
Simplicity · on August 21, 2019 at 1:29 PM
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Thank you it sucks! I will maybe do a 5 year or something to that affect to redo photos to have something I like! I wish you the best as well in this and maybe a redo shoot to help you as well.
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