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Cheryl
Dedicated November 2021

Anyone not having a bridal shower/bacheolorette party?

Cheryl, on July 18, 2020 at 9:54 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 24

I don't really feel the need for me to have either. My MOH and future step-daughter were both super excited about me having a bacheolorette party from nearly the moment I got engaged, but I don't really want one. They both seemed bummed when I told them I don't really want one. I don't know if my MOH is thinking about a bridal shower since she hasn't mentioned it, but again, I don't really want one. I never really understood the whole bridal shower thing and to me it just seems to be another reason for people to give you gifts. Meh...I don't really need/want gifts and don't want people making a big fuss. Anybody else feeling like this?

24 Comments

Latest activity by Cherin, on January 18, 2022 at 7:55 PM
  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I hear you! I super don’t want a bachelorette or bridal shower. I am just not that kind of person. In fact, I have never had a birthday party as an adult lol I just don’t like being the centre of attention. You don’t need to have bridal showers and bachelorette unless you want to. I never understood the bridal shower to be honest, and I’m sure if I was 25 not 35 I may feel differently about a bachelorette party.....maybe.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I am the same way! When I initially asked my MOH to be my MOH she was super excited and she was like dude we’re going to go to the casino and have This big bash, but I told her I was like as much as I appreciate it, I really just don’t want it. I’m 30 and I’veHad some pretty wild years and feel like I have gotten all of my partying out so to speak. I am also not doing a bridal shower. My FH and I have Been living together for nine years, and financially we’re also doing a lot better than many of the people in our bridal party. A lot of our friends have kids now too so from a financial standpoint I really would never want to put that on anyone or ask for Things that I can easily by myself. My FH and I are also not doing a registry. I’m not against people doing it, I just feel like it’s not for us. We just want our wedding to be for one day and we want it to be about a celebration with the people that we love.
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  • Cheryl
    Dedicated November 2021
    Cheryl ·
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    And see, I'm even older than YOU and I think that's part of why I don't want the party/shower. My FH and I are older, and more established so we don't really need very much. It's not like I need kitchen gadgets and pjs and my FH isn't a big fan of lingerie (weird, right? lol), so I don't see why I need a shower. Bacheolorette party? Meh...I've done the bar hopping thing plenty enough that I don't feel the need to run around town with a makeshift veil. LOL. I'm just over all that sort of stuff. These things would also mean my DIL - who is also a bridesmaid -- would have to travel AGAIN to be here for them, or she would feel bad about not attending. I don't want that.

    I DID tell my MOH that if she really, REALLY felt the need to plan something, just get my BMs and a few other friends and let's have a sleepover. Some food, drinks and games....yeah...THAT I could get behind.

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  • Cheryl
    Dedicated November 2021
    Cheryl ·
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    YES!!! To SOOO much of this!!! My FH and I have been living together for 6 years. We are also much older than you. Smiley winking LOL. So we pretty much have all the "stuff" we need (and probably MORE than we need). And don't get me wrong, I love a good get-together with some drinks and food as much as the next girl...I just don't need it to be all about ME. My 'maids and some other friends also run the spectrum of financial stability and I don't want anyone feeling some sort of way, or having to explain why they didn't get me a gift or worse, spending money they could use for something else, on a gift for me. That's crazy. I just can't with that.

    We ARE doing a registry, but it will be minimal and mostly because people will ask. We are also doing a Honeyfund, which actually, is much more suited to us than "stuff". But he we get nothing....we really don't care. We just want to get married and celebrate!

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  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I’m not a huge fan of being the center of attention, so I know I would be super awkward at a bridal shower. Opening a bunch of gifts in front of everyone would make me feel so bad about them buying us stuff- and yes I know that’s really the point of a shower, but even at Christmas going to FH’s adoptive parents I feel so anxious and awkward when present time comes. Besides, we live together and don’t really need basic home goods.
    I did really want a bachelorette party because we had some fun plans, but with Covid we can’t really do what we wanted anyways so it seems pointless. FH brought up doing a joint bachelor/bachelorette really early in planning and my MOH’s suggested to do things like groom’s party versus bride’s party laser tag, archery, bowling, a cabaret show, Dave and Busters or even going up to central city/Blackhawk since they’re close. Even with places open, we don’t feel very comfortable now.
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  • Cheryl
    Dedicated November 2021
    Cheryl ·
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    Hey...the joint party sounds like fun. My FH also isn't a bachelor party kind of guy. I would be perfectly fine with him having one, but he's just not into it. But I DO like the thought of doing a 'maids/groomsman combo event. Dave & Buster's would also be fun since that's where FH and I had our first date.

    We aren't getting married until next year and we're hoping that by then, things will be much more "normal", so I may consider this idea. This would also help my son and DIL since they are both in the wedding party and live out of town and would only have to fly up one extra time, besides the wedding. If I plan it early enough out, that might work. We'll see though because I'm still not sold on the idea.

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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Same here. Hard lass on the bridal shower but my girls really want to throw me a Bachelorette outing so I'll let them do it IF we even can. I'm not worried one way or the other.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    YES!! I am totally with you on this! I have never enjoyed bridal showers (hosting them, or going to them as a guest)- just like you said, it seems like a contrived way to get more gifts. I hate the forced atmosphere, the silly games that are played at them, and I absolutely detest opening gifts in front of people & having to feign some sort of surprised or excited response to the gift. The whole thing is just icky for me. So I specifically told my MOH, mother and aunts that under no circumstances do I want a bridal shower, nor would I show up for one LOL as far as the bachelorette party goes, I don’t mind having some version of pre-wedding celebration, but I definitely am not into the traditional bachelorette party (ie, dressing in slutty club clothes or silly matching tank tops, carrying around penis items, having strippers, etc), so instead just a few of my closest friends and I will be going to the visiting world of Harry Potter for my “ Bachelorette party“. FH and I also agreed to do a joint celebration 2 nights before our destination wedding with our wedding parties (and whatever guests have arrived by then and want to join us).
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  • Jessica
    Devoted July 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I too declined the offer for a shower before Covid and it definitely wouldn’t be happening now so it all worked out!
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  • Danielle
    Expert November 2020
    Danielle ·
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    I’m not having one either. I’m 43 and just feel like I’m past all that I guess. I feel uncomfortable thinking I need others to buy me stuff when I’m quite used to talking care of myself. I am not a drinker so I don’t feel need to do that either and with covid going on since I work in healthcare I feel like most people just aren’t in mood to celebrate anyway with me.
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  • Danielle
    Expert November 2020
    Danielle ·
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    I’m not really into traditions although I’d welcome if my family wanted to celebrate but with covid I doubt anyone will
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    I don’t want either one of those. We selected not to have a bridal party. So I thought I was safe. Lol! But friends still brought it up a few times and every time I tell them that I don’t want a shower or bachelorette party. But, like you, they seem let down about it. It’s weird! I just want guests to celebrate at the wedding and I don’t need a bunch of little parties along the way. I also don’t need the typical shower gifts. Actually, FH and I don’t even want wedding gifts. We have everything we need and more. But since people will/have asked (before we postponed), we created a quick registry on Amazon. It’s 10% typical tangible weddings gift items (towels, wine glasses, etc., which we already have). The other 90% are “date night gifts of experiences together” which are just gift cards to restaurants, movies, Uber and things like that. We just want our family and friends to celebrate with us at the wedding, minus all the other extras.
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  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    I’m not having either. I had people on both sides of our family offer, but I didn’t pursue it.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I have friends that did not have any of those pre-wedding events
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  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
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    I’m not having a Bridal Shower. FH and I have been living together for almost 9 years, we don’t need anything! And I also don’t like people feeling obligated to buy gifts and such. My sister, who is my MOH & only bridal party member, asked me for a guest list for bridal shower & bachelorette party. I told her no to the bridal shower and she understood. Know one else has really said anything about it (either of our parents or relatives). I’ll probably have a small bachelorette party. Nothing crazy. But I don’t have many friends so I may just be me, my sister & two/three other girls.
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  • Rebecca
    Dedicated July 2021
    Rebecca ·
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    I wasn’t sure that I wanted A bridal shower, and since I’m a “pandemic bride-to-be” COVID kind of answered for me. No bridal shower it is. I did have my bachelorette party last weekend but only with my long-time friends. It was great!
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  • E
    Savvy September 2020
    Erin ·
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    We're having a Brews Before I Do's party next weekend in place of a traditional shower. It's for both of us and really just an excuse to hang out on the brewery patio and share some beers with our local loved ones (socially distanced and masked). We're not opening gifts or playing games.

    Today I decided with my bridal brigade to forego the bachelorette weekend. We had planned a "Princess Diaries 2" sleepover-style bach party but ultimately it's too risky.

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  • Riley
    Expert September 2020
    Riley ·
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    I am not. We already have a house and everything we need. So I did not want a shower. All of our family knows we want money for the honeymoon. And I only have my maid of honor so we are just going to have a girls day where we go get our nails done.

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  • Julia
    Dedicated March 2021
    Julia ·
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    Same here! I don't like all that fuss. I've already told my mom and sister to please not plan anything, especially surprises (I hate surprises!). Instead, I told them I'd like to arrange for a girls weekend at the beach (we live in Florida so it's not super expensive, just the cost of an airbnb). It's your wedding, so you definitely get a say how you'd like to celebrate, including all the events leading up! But I get why they might be disappointed. Maybe you can opt to do a girls day instead? Mani/pedis, something you would enjoy doing together to still celebrate? Just not a traditional shower or party.
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  • Courtney
    Master December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    My MOH was the same way haha. Ten minutes after I asked her she started brainstorming my bridal weekend. Like damn girl, let me get the rest of the party together lol.

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