Anyone else think the concept of Wedding Registries is strange and somewhat tacky?

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People now put it on their website with a cliche message

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And? That's still not on a invitation or being blatantly put out for people to be like "hey make sure you stop by Williams Sonoma to check out our registry, and a lot of people don't even visit those websites. Unless those people are also sharing the website link to their Facebooks or social media accounts and saying "hey check out our registry" I don't see the issue with that.

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Although, I'd argue that it is being put out there for people via your Bridal Shower. It's usually always printed on a Bridal Shower invite, and without any form of advertisement of your registry, a Bridal Shower would be pointless.

A Bridal Shower is specifically for gifts. To "shower" your bride. That's just as tacky. It's become tradition regardless.

I feel super awkward about this as well. I understand registries for traditional couples who had previously both lived at their parents home and will now need a bunch of items for their new shared home. But I’ve lived with FH for years now and will return to our shared home after the wedding. The idea that we deserve a gift simply for getting married is a little bizarre to me. I made a registry because I know people will ask, but I still feel super uncomfortable whenever people ask me where I’m registered so they can send a gift. I feel like “but I didn’t DO anything...”

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I agree with you, Munchkin9218. As long as they're not blatantly thrown in anyone's face or a couple is forcing guests to buy from them, I don't see an issue with registries.

My family really wanted me to have one so they knew exactly what FH and I wanted/needed. They didn't necessarily want to just buy us stuff and have us potentially return it or never use it. For that same reason, I also like looking at others' registries for weddings and baby showers. Unless I know the person or couple really well and see something I know they'll like/want that's off registry, I prefer to just go into a store, grab something from their registry in my price range, and be done with the whole thing. It makes the process way less of a headache (particularly when you don't know the person or couple well).

We’re not registering for gifts. Not necessarily tacky but we have everything we need in our house. We would benefit better from the money gifts people give us because we’re purchasing our first home. I’ve heard people say it’s tacky to not register for gifts or to ask for money but when you register, you’re asking for gift anyway. So I don’t really see the difference.

I understand what you mean. I wasn’t going to do one at all but then I got relatives asking what I want. AND I found out that some places give you post-wedding discounts on things on your registry. The last part is what got me excited!

Well, most people give gifts at weddings and will do so whether you have a registry or not. Some people give cash, but some want to buy a physical item, so registries are helpful for your guests to pick out something you actually want and will use. I don’t see why having something that helps people feel like they can give you a better gift is tacky. I don’t think they are really perceived as asking for gifts by most people since they were generally already planning on giving you something anyway.

In my circle, people give gifts for the shower, and cash for the wedding. You do a registry because people are going to be giving you gifts no matter what, so it may as well be something you like and asked for. A registry is not a summons, however, it's merely a suggestion.

But my SIL's all went off-registry for my shower, and while I'm very grateful to receive gifts, and really do feel it's the thought that counts, nothing they got is really my taste, and unfortunately, their gifts are not going to get much use, which is a shame. There were no gift receipts or store price tags on them, so I couldn't even exchange them for something else.

Yes they are extremely tacky. Any etiquette expert would agree. It imply’s the host is expecting gifts, which is never to be the point of hosting a party. It is also considered in poor taste to say, “no gifts.”

I don’t think they’re tacky at all - they serve a very specific purpose. If guests are going to gift you things to celebrate your upcoming marriage, it gives them an idea of not only what you like, but also what you still need. If they see that someone has already gifted you a toaster, they’re not going to buy you a second one - they can gift you something else they know you’ll like. Then, I’m a rather traditional bride. FH and I just graduated college and won’t be living together until we’re married, so our registry is very much for building our first home together.