Advice!!! Please

Why should you feel embarrassed? Everyone has to do what's right for them and their family. Friends will understand and not judge. I'm not one who feels that couples have to do everything together but you do need to be respectful of your husband's feelings. How would you feel if the situation were reversed?

If you ask me, it seems foolish for either of you to go. We're in the middle of a pandemic! An unnecessary flight on an airplane to celebrate NYE isn't worth it, in my opinion. Have a NYE get-together on Zoom and celebrate with them in person next year.

I understand both your and your hubby’s points of view. This is a classic example of where communication and compromise come into play. For me, I would probably stay home with my husband — while I love my friends, he comes first. It’s our first New Year’s together as a married couple so that’s a special time, plus with the pandemic, it’s risky to travel to attend an out of town party. I’d simply tell my friends that my hubby and I have made different plans for our first New Year’s but let’s make plans to get together when the world opens back up and your friend has moved and gotten settled. That will give you a reason to get together again. There is no need to be embarrassed. You don’t need to tell your friends why you decided not to attend (if that’s your decision).

I wouldn't go anywhere because of the pandemic. You can always visit another time when it's safer.

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This.

Ignoring that it's your first NYE together as a married couple (though that could be a fun moment) - it's FAR too dangerous to be traveling right now. And rapid tests aren't going to show anything if you were exposed between the 3 days and the rapid test.

There’s no doubt that you love your husband & there’s a special place for your friends. However, your husband & marriage come 1st. This is your 1st New Year’s as a married couple- you can’t get a do over on that. Most importantly, we’re in the midst of a pandemic, traveling right now seems very careless.

Traveling state to state, and not being able to count on others being careful with masks and keeping their distance should make it a no by itself. What about your baby? All that risk for a party your husband does not want to go to to begin with? RSVP Quickly, NO.

No need to feel embarrassed. I dont think you should go but I disagree with your husband's logic. You can get COVID ftom anyone whether you know them or not.

I'm not going to address this from a Covid perspective because it's your choice to travel or not, and it sounds like you've thought it through with testing etc. That isn't your issue.


Did your husband really say he doesn't want to go because he's not friendly??? and doesn't like new people?? Sorry but that is a huge red flag. If his objection is that he doesn't want to meet your friends, he is 100% in the wrong. I probably wouldn't fly to a NYE party but the issue here is your husband.

View Quoted Comment I definitely agree with this perspective!

In terms of your husband’s view, he is being childish. If he doesn’t want to go for whatever reason, that is his prerogative, but there is no reason that his reluctance to go should hold you back, and he certainly shouldn’t be telling you to stay home purely because you’d be going without him.

BUT, with that said, I would not go because of COVID. According to the news reports we are getting in Australia, the US is having 200,000 new COVID cases per DAY (special acknowledgement to Trump for doing sh&t all). Here where I live in Australia, we are in full swing re holidays because we have pretty much contained COVID and have now hit 8 days in a row of no community transmission nationally. I understand that you guys are allowed to travel freely (at least until Biden introduces some appropriate measures to reduce the spread of COVID) but that doesn’t mean you should.

I do think it's childish when they don't want you to go just cause they don't want to go. it's not really right to stop your partner from something just because you yourself aren't into it.

but i do agree with everyone here i don't think you should go in general during this time.

View Quoted Comment Honestly, flying to Houston to meet new people for a NYE party sounds like a nightmare to me. Not wanting to meet new people on a normal day who are a car ride away is one thing. But not wanting to spend your first married NYE together with strangers is not unreasonable.

If it was me, I'd stay home with my husband and celebrate our first NYE together. Yes it sucks that you really want to go and that he's refusing to go, but you have to look at it from another perspective. I wouldn't want to spend my first NYE as a married couple by flying to another state, undergoing one/multiple COVID tests, then flying back after the trip. I get where he's coming from...I wouldn't want my first time hanging out and meeting new people to be in that type of environment. I will say that it is strange that his reasoning for not wanting to go is "he's not friendly"...kind of a weird statement imo.

You shouldn't be embarrassed to tell your friends that you politely decline. If anything, they shouldn't be hosting a NYE party in the first place given the circumstances of this pandemic....They'll understand why you both can't make it! I def. wouldn't go alone and leave him at home. If it was me and my spouse left me on our first NYE to go to a party/trip I strongly objected, then I'd be really hurt and feel second fiddle to their friends.

Celebrate cuddled up at home with a nice dinner, some nice champagne, and a good movie. Would you want your first NYE together to be remembered as the one where one or both of you got sick or got someone else sick? You can have a nice time and mark the occasion in a safe way.

Putting aside the pandemic for a while, I don't think its fair for your husband to hold you hostage because he doesn't enjoy meeting new people. That's unfair to you, and I think you should be "allowed" to go whether he joins in or not. You should consider if you'd have fun without him if everyone else is paired off in couples. My husband and I have plenty of mutual friends and even with people we know well and hang out with a lot it can feel a bit lonely to hang out with all the other couples when he isn't there.

Now, throw in Covid and I personally would not choose to get on a plane or travel now unless absolutely necessary. I don't think city hopping is responsible right now, and just because you may get tested when you go and are "Covid free" doesn't mean you won't catch or spread Covid after the fact. I think Covid is the perfect reason to have a quiet private NYE at home with just your husband.

Also do you have a baby at home? What would happen with the baby if you both travel? Would the baby come? Would you quarantine from your baby upon returning home? I would feel even less likely to risk travel and going out on the town right now if I was coming home to a vulnerable newborn.

Risks aside, I understand why you want to go, but I do think you should spend your first New Year's Eve as a married couple with your new husband.