2Nd bachelorette expectations

Your sister's expectations are completely unrealistic. Who in the world has the time and money for a 5 day bachelorette party? For most people, that's like a full third of yearly vacation time from work! In my opinion, a 5 day bachelorette itself is asking WAY too much. Having to plan a second bachelorette dinner before the wedding is just the cherry on top of the cake of insanity.

Agree with PPs, you are definitely not the A!

Neither being the bride nor being your sister entitles her to have ridiculous expectations.

There is only so much anyone can take and she needs to be reigned in. Perhaps get a family member to talk to her if she won't listen to you.

Yeah, I’m in agreement with the others that she is being ridiculous. I’ve asked for a weekend getaway but that’s in part because my MOH is 8hrs away and I’d love it if we could meet halfway. If we do anything local, she can’t be here unless it’s the week of the wedding. She doesn’t have the money to be flying or driving back and forth, but I wanted her as my MOH more than anything.

Plan what is reasonable for you and the other attendees. Because even if you were to plan that 5 day getaway, how many others would be able to come? I feel like some people have twisted weddings and wedding events to be all about the bride, and that’s not true at all. It should be about all the loved ones sharing in the joy of this new union. Yes, friends and family often want to celebrate the couple in this, and a bachelorette party is usually part of this, but it’s not and never should be only about what the bride wants.

5 days is a lot. I could understand maybe gathering Thursday night so that you only take the Friday off, and then the full weekend as well (assuming the other attendees don't work weekends), but it is excessive to expect people to take off several days in the middle of the week. And then a 2nd party right before the wedding is stressful too. Who has this much time to party right before their wedding?!

First as many have said, this is very unrealistic of her and her expectations.

Have you shared any of this with the other BMs? If so, what have they said? I would definitely get their input and work with each of them and see who can / if anyone afford such a extravaganza and then plan with the others an appropriate event. If your sister wants / demands a 5-day event then she should pay for it and everyone to attend.

Personally, I wouldn't attend a 5-day bachelorette party. I don't have the time and I wouldn't want to spend my money on such. Almost all of my vacations days are reserved for my FH and his son and our annual vacations. I'm personally not willing to sacrifice time with them for a 5-day weekend with women. I MIGHT do a Friday - Sunday, but even that seems excessive.

And a 2nd party, NO... is she not having a bridal shower? If she wants all these extras, she needs to plan and pay for it.

One of the BM is 100% on-board and excited. She's super wealthy and has no partner, no kids. Another has said yes to the event but is known to flake-out of things last minute, so I'm not holding my breath she'll come. The other two argued strongly against it, citing the same thing as me (high cost, too much time away from family and work). My sister responded by saying, "you have plenty of time to budget and save for this, so you have no excuse." And yes, she has always been this self-centered even growing up together. I tried to negotiate a Friday-Sunday event that was much more budget friendly and closer to home, with the idea that some people could just come for Saturday dinner if they couldn't afford the full weekend away. My sister agreed to this but then said that it wouldn't "count" as her bachelorette and she still expects the 5-day long $$$ party.