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Just Said Yes June 2021

2 bridal showers

Lauren, on July 26, 2022 at 10:22 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 8

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Hi everyone! Graduated bride here who is now a matron of honor for a friend. I need advice! In the month of July I threw the bride a 30th birthday party, a bridal shower (that I originally wasn’t supposed to plan but her family asked if I’d take over a few weeks before which left me putting the rest together—the bride doesn’t realize that I ended up doing most of it with little help because I didn’t want to throw her family under the bus), and a bachelorette. I went above and beyond where I could to make the bride feel special.

Her soon to be MIL (who was rude towards me at the shower I threw) is throwing another shower an hour and a half away with her church group who isn’t invited to the wedding. The bride tried to get her not to but she had her mind made up. I just recently told the bride that I’m not going to make the second shower and she is angry with me.
Am I being inconsiderate or a bad MoH by not going to this one?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on July 27, 2022 at 5:50 PM

Super September 2022
Ashlee · on July 26, 2022 at 10:24 AM
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Absolutely not. Pre-wedding events are not a requirement and you've already gone above and beyond.
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Rosebud · on July 26, 2022 at 10:52 AM
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Heck no, you can't be everywhere. Sounds like you have done a lot for your friend it s ok to skip this one. Your friend probably just wants your company there since it seems like this maybe a bit of an awkward event. Only go if you can and you want to. Best of luck to you!
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on July 26, 2022 at 11:03 AM
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No way! I actually think it's very considerate that you told you ahead of time!
I also had 2 showers and 2 of my bridesmaids missed one of them which I was totally fine with! I didn't want them to rearrange their schedule for all of these events!
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on July 26, 2022 at 11:58 AM
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You're totally fine. My shower was out of state, and I never would have expected my bridesmaids to make that kind of trip. Plus you already threw her two additional parties on top of taking over for her first shower. Like Rosebud mentioned, she probably isn't too thrilled about going to a shower she didn't even want where she won't know many people, and she just wanted a friendly face. While that's understandable, she shouldn't be getting mad at you for not being able to go to every single event (especially one hosted by someone who was rude to you).
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Master July 2022
Imani · on July 26, 2022 at 12:23 PM
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Not at all! You’ve already went above and beyond. She has no reason to be upset with you for not wanting to attend. She should be understanding.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on July 26, 2022 at 12:44 PM
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I agree with everyone else; of course you don't need to attend this second shower that has literally nothing to do with you. Have you asked your friend why she is angry with you? She may be feeling uncomfortable with the event and taking this discomfort out on you. Not an excuse, but maybe you can help talk her down from her inappropriate reaction. No matter what, please don't feel pressured to attend.
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Expert September 2022
Nichole · on July 26, 2022 at 12:57 PM
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Absolutely not. I ended up having the grooms family throw me a bridal shower this past weekend and I only asked one of my 4 bridesmaids to come and assist with keeping track of gifts (MOH lives about 2 hours away and has 3 children, another lives 1.5 hours away and the last one lives about 12 hours away). Now my sister who lives 12 hours away happened to be in town this weekend so she came as well. I have a second one in August that I invited all 4 to but none are required.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on July 27, 2022 at 5:50 PM
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OMG no. You've done enough. Pre-wedding parties are optional only. You've done a great job honouring her.
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