1st time moving in together fears.

Your fear is different than most due to abusive relationship and I think therapy will help in that regard.

As far as moving in the biggest thing is to realize things will be different. You will get on each other's nerves eventually. You'll want the house cleaned one way and his definition of clean will be different. It just takes time to get used to things.

It's a HUGE change. The first 6 months after we moved in together were the most challenging part of our relationship thus far. I think it just has to do with differing mannerisms- I like things done this way, he likes things done that way. And, you're together ALL the time. My FH is shocking easy to live with, but it was still an adjustment. Just know that it won't be all smooth sailing, and that's ok!

To be honest, if you're currently living at home, I think the transition to living away from your parents might be the bigger change than living with FH. In that case, it might be good if you have a few months while he is at basic to get used to living independently. I agree with PP-- it will be useful for the rest of your life to address your anxieties about being alone. Maybe if you're living in a new place, your siblings could come visit and spend some nights while he's away at basic and you are getting used to living on your own.

I don't think there were that many big transitions moving in with FH, since I had already lived with roommates before. In some ways, living with a loved one is easier than living with roommates, because you're more willing to be patient and give them the benefit of the doubt. But you're also more likely to take them for granted or nag, so you have to be careful about that.

There will probably be some things you learn about each other that you didn't know, like weird quirks you didn't notice about each other. But you'll work it out.

PPs have nailed it so far. FH and I couldn't be more different when it comes to dealing with stress; he freaks out hot and fast, which usually results in me getting annoyed with him, and he has a quicker rebound rate than I do. We've learned how to interact with each other, each other's quirks, and how our personalities work together as one force. Remember to be patient with each other first, and to give yourself space and alone time when you need a break; you will need a break from one another sometimes, and that's totally okay!

Coming from an abusive relationship is hard. So glad you have family beside you. One thing that may help you work through the fears from the abuse is finding a support group in your community. I have been in and out of support trips for the last couple of years and it makes a difference.

The hardest part is that I like things one way, he likes them another and sometimes it's hard to find a balance. It's not easy to live with another person no matter who it is. Good luck!

My biggest worry when we moved in together was figuring out time to bleach my mustache without him knowing.

I figured it out.

It's definitely true that it's an adjustment. I'm a little worried about the changes that will come since we don't live together, but I read an article the other day that mentioned how even though people say it's good to live with someone to see if you get along, the truth is that the person you love you will love in spite of those little annoyances. I think that's definitely true and puts it in perspective

My biggest worry is just getting used to being around each other all the time (FH especially is a huge introvert, but I like alone time too), but I'm also so SO excited to live with him

I was worried about it, but then gradually we spent more and more time together to where I just naturally didn't want to be apart from him. I like my independence and freedom, so I was concerned that I would not have that, but I still have some time when he goes to his Mom's for dinner, or goes e bowling, and then by the time he gets back I am glad to see him again.

We actually found that it wasn't as much of an adjustment as we thought it would be - I think I got so overly stressed beforehand, and it definitely wasn't as difficult a transition as I imagined, so that was good!

The most difficult part is just that we each like things done a certain way, and we've had to learn how to compromise (and how to know when something isn't worth the fight). I hate when FH leaves a glass by the sink instead of in it, and he hates that I squeeze the toothpaste from the middle instead of the bottom. We argued about it initially, but have learned to just focus our energy on what really matters.

Wishing you the best of luck with your move! You will be fine. The first few months are the hardest and once you're over that it's a lot of fun.

I think the biggest thing that was hard for me to adjust (and almost a year later in still struggling with this) is that FH built this house before we met and I still kind of feel like a guest. He tells me I can decorate but I still am hesitant.... Idk. I'll probably never be able to shop for a house. So idk when this will change.

The biggest fear for me was that he likes to play video games and would leave dishes all over. We made a compromise and now I clean and he makes breakfast/lunch and dinner. Such a good FH! :-)

I'm gonna have to say learning how to work with the quirks that we never would have known about until living together. We all have them and sometimes I'm left almost speechless with a look toward him that just says "really?"

For the first couple months, I wanted to murder FH (not really but) just because we're very different in our levels of cleanliness. I moved into his place and he hadn't moved anything around (he'd lived here for almost 2 years and still had unpacked boxes) or made space for my stuff. The house was a mess - I had expected him to tidy up a little before I moved like he said he would. Then I'd come home from work (I get off at 1am) and find pasta or whatever still in the pot on the stove, bowls with food left in them on the counter, etc. He'd leave stuff out and about, puts mail on the steps instead of throwing it out, doesn't seem to notice when floors need swept, etc. So, huge curve for me learning to relax (at least put dishes in sink with some water) and him actually throwing stuff away.

In your situation, it sounds deeper though. Therapy might not be a bad idea, as well as a security system.

My biggest fear is FH get stuck at work and I'll have to sleep alone.( I always think I'm dying when I'm alone)

I'm afraid the adjustment period.

OP, will you at least be living near your family? That will be a challenging transition to be moving in together but then having to be by yourself. I have never lived completely on my own (without roommates of some sort) so I don't have great advice for you in that regard. In general, as others have stated, the biggest adjustment is getting used to sharing a space with each other and working out expectations with splitting up household tasks.

Moving in was pretty easy for us. I'm a semi neat person and FH is a total slob so there were a couple hurdles to get over it nothing bad. Like he gets out of the shower on A shower mat and then starts walking AS he is drying off leaving a huge river in his wake through the house. That thankfully didn't last a terrible amount of time. He also left socks EVERYWHERE and it drove me crazy. Like I would find one In the living room and one downstairs. What kind of person walks around with only one sock on and doesn't pick either up?! 2.5 years later and we have both made adjustments and now I couldn't imagine not living together! I would miss seeing him all the time!

I think you have two situations to handle: adapting to living with him, and adapting to living on your own when he's gone.

When I first moved out, I was terrified the first few weeks. It's not easy if you've lived with your parents your whole life, and even worse if you've been through an abuse situation. Like PPs have said, therapy will be helpful for you. It also helps getting to know your neighbours to make sure you have people around you that you know well. Ask friends or family to come have dinner or watch a movie in the evening with you a few times a week.

I loved moving in with my FH. It felt long overdue and it is so fun! I love living with my bestfriend.. The only thing I don't like is that if we ever bicker or fight we're stuck in the same place and in the same bed at night lol, but it's better off that way.

Get a dog! Specifically rescue a dog. They are the most loyal animal you will even know.