Anisha Q. Sent on 08/05/2023
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Quality of service
1.0 out of 5 rating
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Average response time
1.0 out of 5 rating
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Professionalism
1.0 out of 5 rating
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Value
1.0 out of 5 rating
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Flexibility
1.0 out of 5 rating
Disappointing
I am writing this lengthy review because I know how hard it is to find a Muslim interfaith officiant and I know how important and special a ceremony is to the couple. Dr. Mike is a personable individual, and our initial interactions with him were quite positive. His skill in seamlessly blending both of our cultural and religious backgrounds into the ceremony script was impressive. Over the course of a year, we held multiple Zoom meetings with Dr. Mike to meticulously plan our ceremony, reflecting how integral this moment was for us as a couple.
However, on the actual day of our ceremony, we were taken aback by the execution. To our surprise, Dr. Mike not only narrated the entire processional but also provided a running commentary on the wedding outline itself, even sharing personal anecdotes about his own background. This overshadowed the elegant performance of the beautiful string quartet we had thoughtfully hired, as his voice competed for attention. He continued to speak and narrate the wedding outline and add in his own commentary as the grandmothers walked down the aisle to carefully selected music, then the groomsmen, bridesmaids, groom, and then the bride. As you can imagine these are very special moments
but unfortunately, Dr. Mike was narrations really took away from it all. All the guests were genuinely confused to what was happening. Admittedly, some of the responsibility may lie with us for not explicitly clarifying that wanted complete silence out of him during the processional omitting the need for commentary. Given Dr. Mike's extensive experience in officiating 250 weddings, we had assumed this was standard practice. We have been to atleast 20 weddings of all faiths and of all levels of formalities and we have never experienced a ceremony like this and a shame that it was at our own wedding. Unfortunately all our guests also were shocked.
Regrettably, the situation further soured with inappropriate jokes that Dr. Mike included in his narration. During our prior meeting, we had candidly expressed our discomfort with such humor and had even provided a revised script, explicitly omitting these elements. It was disheartening to witness these jokes resurface, indicating a lack of attention to our preferences.
I had specifically requested that Dr. Mike help streamline the ceremony to fit within our tight timeframe by kindly requesting guests to hold their applause until the conclusion of the proceedings, refraining from interrupting the flow with applause between segments. Unfortunately, throughout the entire ceremony, Dr. Mike repeatedly made comments such as, "I would ask you to clap, but the bride has informed me otherwise.". This was said multiple times (and mentioned to us by many guests) throughout the entire ceremony about other things hinting at how controlling the bride was acting. Is making fun of the bride really a good idea just to get a few laughs?
In a misguided attempt at humor, he posed a question to the groom, asking whether he was held at gunpoint to marry the bride. This ill-conceived joke, compounded by the use of the phrase "gunshot wedding," which many attendees mistakenly interpreted as "shotgun wedding," proved to be deeply insensitive and offensive. We had explicitly communicated our desire to exclude such humor from the ceremony due to our personal preferences, but these concerns were disregarded. He said he went by the humor from our first meeting, but we have had multiple meetings since. In fact the last meeting and draft is when I said to refrain from the applause so we know he read the email, he just decided to avoid everything else.
Adding to the discomfort, Dr. Mike unexpectedly began recording our guests' impressions of his ceremony during the cocktail hour for his own feedback. This was an unexpected and awkward intrusion, as it had not been discussed or agreed upon in advance. A wedding is not an appropriate place to do this.
This experience led us to conclude that Dr. Mike's focus leaned more towards garnering attention onto himself during the ceremony, rather than preserving the sanctity of our special moment. As a result, the emotional significance of the ceremony was overshadowed by anxiety about his unpredictable commentary. In the end, our expectations were not met, and we found the overall experience disappointing and really heartbreaking. It is disheartening to reflect upon what should have been a cherished memory, tainted by these shortcomings.
I am writing this lengthy review because I know how hard it is to find a Muslim interfaith officiant and I know how important and special a ceremony is to the couple. Dr. Mike is a personable individual, and our initial interactions with him were quite positive. His skill in seamlessly blending both of our cultural and religious backgrounds into the ceremony script was impressive. Over the course of a year, we held multiple Zoom meetings with Dr. Mike to meticulously plan our ceremony, reflecting how integral this moment was for us as a couple.
However, on the actual day of our ceremony, we were taken aback by the execution. To our surprise, Dr. Mike not only narrated the entire processional but also provided a running commentary on the wedding outline itself, even sharing personal anecdotes about his own background. This overshadowed the elegant performance of the beautiful string quartet we had thoughtfully hired, as his voice competed for attention. He continued to speak and narrate the wedding outline and add in his own commentary as the grandmothers walked down the aisle to carefully selected music, then the groomsmen, bridesmaids, groom, and then the bride. As you can imagine these are very special moments
but unfortunately, Dr. Mike was narrations really took away from it all. All the guests were genuinely confused to what was happening. Admittedly, some of the responsibility may lie with us for not explicitly clarifying that wanted complete silence out of him during the processional omitting the need for commentary. Given Dr. Mike's extensive experience in officiating 250 weddings, we had assumed this was standard practice. We have been to atleast 20 weddings of all faiths and of all levels of formalities and we have never experienced a ceremony like this and a shame that it was at our own wedding. Unfortunately all our guests also were shocked.
Regrettably, the situation further soured with inappropriate jokes that Dr. Mike included in his narration. During our prior meeting, we had candidly expressed our discomfort with such humor and had even provided a revised script, explicitly omitting these elements. It was disheartening to witness these jokes resurface, indicating a lack of attention to our preferences.
I had specifically requested that Dr. Mike help streamline the ceremony to fit within our tight timeframe by kindly requesting guests to hold their applause until the conclusion of the proceedings, refraining from interrupting the flow with applause between segments. Unfortunately, throughout the entire ceremony, Dr. Mike repeatedly made comments such as, "I would ask you to clap, but the bride has informed me otherwise.". This was said multiple times (and mentioned to us by many guests) throughout the entire ceremony about other things hinting at how controlling the bride was acting. Is making fun of the bride really a good idea just to get a few laughs?
In a misguided attempt at humor, he posed a question to the groom, asking whether he was held at gunpoint to marry the bride. This ill-conceived joke, compounded by the use of the phrase "gunshot wedding," which many attendees mistakenly interpreted as "shotgun wedding," proved to be deeply insensitive and offensive. We had explicitly communicated our desire to exclude such humor from the ceremony due to our personal preferences, but these concerns were disregarded. He said he went by the humor from our first meeting, but we have had multiple meetings since. In fact the last meeting and draft is when I said to refrain from the applause so we know he read the email, he just decided to avoid everything else.
Adding to the discomfort, Dr. Mike unexpectedly began recording our guests' impressions of his ceremony during the cocktail hour for his own feedback. This was an unexpected and awkward intrusion, as it had not been discussed or agreed upon in advance. A wedding is not an appropriate place to do this.
This experience led us to conclude that Dr. Mike's focus leaned more towards garnering attention onto himself during the ceremony, rather than preserving the sanctity of our special moment. As a result, the emotional significance of the ceremony was overshadowed by anxiety about his unpredictable commentary. In the end, our expectations were not met, and we found the overall experience disappointing and really heartbreaking. It is disheartening to reflect upon what should have been a cherished memory, tainted by these shortcomings.
Interfaith Marriages's reply:
I have rendered my apologies earlier, and I sincerely apologize again today. I understand the frustrations both Anisha and Rudy feel.
It was one of the most beautiful weddings I have attended and officiated in the historical Boston Library.
The wedding was scheduled to start precisely at 6:58 PM but started late, around 7:10-7:15 PM. A day before the wedding, we rehearsed the script over Zoom, and Anisha timed it for 34 minutes, but she wanted to cut it down to 30, so I kept it to the script.
Two humor points (Anisha has cited) popped up as a practice I shared with them in our first meeting nearly a year ago, but I forgot to exclude which they had mentioned. As the parents and grandparents walked, I made the announcement of their arrival, and I did not know; I was not to make that announcement; my apologies again. I am glad Anisha and Rudy acknowledged that they could have been clearer.
I appreciate their suggestions and their effort in editing the comments a few times to be as precise as possible.
Overall, it was a well-planned wedding, and many guests enjoyed it; I talked to them right after the ceremony, and they told me they loved the humor. Otherwise, they said most marriages are boring. Certainly, Anisha and Rudy did not like the two humor points as they were not in the script, and I regret that.
The guest also appreciated the ceremony's format and the explanations of the values of their faiths, adding to their joy and happiness. I wish Rudy and Anisha a happy life with peace and harmony. Once again, my apologies.
