Tom and Andreya's Wedding in Athens, Greece

Some of the most meaningful pieces of the weekend were made by people we love. My mom handmade my entire gown for my siren-themed bachelorette, and one of my bridesmaids created the back necklace I wore to our rehearsal dinner from real saltwater pearls. A local woman in Athens, Greece, made my bridal sandals during our layover in the city. Those details meant more to me than anything we could have simply purchased.

Our families naturally shaped the celebration as well. I’m Greek and Tom is Jewish, so the weekend included Greek food, traditional dancing and plate smashing alongside Jewish celebrations, including a chair hoist. We played lots and lots of ABBA, and Tom’s family surprised us with a choreographed dance to “Super Trooper.” During our ceremony, we even asked our guests to make our vows with us, recognizing that a marriage may belong to two people, but it is strengthened by the community surrounding them.

That idea of community extended beyond the wedding itself. We chose not to have a wedding registry. Instead of asking our guests for stuff, we asked them to give their time. Together, our wedding community completed more than 200 hours of volunteer service before the wedding day. We also encouraged donations to organizations meaningful to us, including a senior dog sanctuary, charities supporting women recovering from addiction, and the Coral Reef Alliance.

We wanted that same spirit of care to extend to Lesvos itself. After the celebration, the remaining wedding food was donated to a local shelter to help feed people experiencing homelessness. It mattered to us that gathering so many people and resources for one weekend could leave something behind besides photographs.

Some of my favorite memories, though, were things no amount of planning could have created. On the morning I woke up for the wedding, horses were running through the sea outside my bedroom window while my bridesmaids and I lounged on the bed chatting. I expected to feel nervous, but a wave of peacefulness washed over me instead. It was the most relaxed I've ever felt.

Later that night, I stood with my brother and sister and looked out over the reception. Everyone I loved was there. People from completely different parts of our lives, different parts of the world, holding hands, dancing, laughing, and falling all over each other. I remember thinking, it literally does not get better than this. I couldn't have wanted for anything if I tried. For a few hours, all the love of my life was in one address.

By the end of the night there was group dancing, a lot of smashed plates, even more ABBA, and eventually Tom (and the rest of the bridal party) being thrown in the pool.

If I could give other couples one piece of advice, it would be to stop asking whether something is “good enough” and start asking whether it feels like you. Keep the traditions that mean something and leave the ones that don't. Wear something your mom made. Let your friends make things for you. Do your own makeup if that's what makes you feel most beautiful. Ask for service instead of gifts if you already have enough. And have your future spouse actually plan alongside you. It should feel like something the two of you created together.

We weren't trying to create a version of the perfect Greek island wedding. We wanted to bring everyone we loved to a place that was real and beautiful, celebrate in ways that reflected where we came from and what we cared about, and leave a little love behind when we went home.