**Information about new premarital group at the bottom**

I've been providing couples therapy (including premarital counseling) for over 15 years. A few things I've learned from my clients:

- none of us are taught as children how to have healthy conflict, yet we have this fantasy that we will magically know how to have healthy conflict with our partner when we get married;
- over the years, problems that start small tend to get big and can become a huge mess;
- often couples don't work out specific issues before getting married (such as How will we divide holidays between our families? or How is the best way for me to express love to you? or How social do you want us to be with other people?)
- when couples have children, the relationship often goes to the bottom of the list, and (surprise!) this makes people pretty unhappy;
- the #1 reason for conflict is division of household chores and childcare duties.

Luckily, I can help with all those things. Often, a lot of energy is spent on the day of the wedding. What about a year after? Or five years later? Are you still spending energy on the relationship? It's very easy to assume the relationship will be fine. And it can be fine - if you prepare and continue to actively nurture it.

What you can get out of pre-marital counseling:
- What to do and say so that your disagreements don't turn into a fight;
- Repair the damage caused by a fight;
- Express your needs so your partner doesn't have to be a mind reader (let's be real - they're not great at it, right?);
- How to compromise so both of you benefit and neither of you have to "give in";
- Learn about the 4 toxic behaviors in relationships and how to change them;
- Work out important issues ahead of time (expectations for marriage and your partner, money, children, intimacy and sexuality, long-term goals, household chores);
- Address any other issues that are specific to your situation (examples: mental health, physical health, family-of-origin issues, past trauma, etc).

I provide free consultations (20 minutes) to discuss your options and give you a chance to ask questions. Give me a call or send me a message.

There is also a group you can attend that's at a significantly reduced price that covers some of the above topics. This virtual group lasts 8 weeks and covers:
- What to do and say so that your disagreements don't turn into a fight;
- Learn about the 4 toxic behaviors in relationships and how to change them;
- Discuss important issues ahead of time (expectations for marriage and your partner, money, children, intimacy and sexuality, long-term goals, household chores).

** The next group starts January 2022 (5:30-7pm Mountain Time). Limited to five couples. Topics will include: finances, children, conflict management, maintaining and strengthening your friendship, sex, friends and family, and division of labor (ugh, the dreaded “cleaning” discussion!). Total cost for the group will be $2400, which is a 50% discount from my standard fee.