Jo
WeddingWire Administrator May 2015

What do you do if you don't like your ring?

Jo, on June 27, 2018 at 8:05 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 26
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You may be ecstatic to be engaged, and madly in love with your partner, but the ring just isn't your style or taste - how do you handle it without hurting your partner? You don't want to seem materialistic or ungrateful, but you have to wear the ring every day for the rest of your life and you want to love it. What do you do?

Have any of you been in this situation? What did you do? How would you support a best friend who came to you in this situation?

What do you do if you don't like your ring? 1

Photo: Modern Wedding Photography

Are you experiencing this now, or know someone who is going through it? Our article It’s Okay to Hate Your Engagement Ring. Here’s How to Handle It will give you expert tips to navigate this gracefully.

26 Comments

  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
    • Flag

    I know everyone will answer this differently but I truly believe that you need to be honest with your partner. I understand that it's a piece of jewelry, but it's not just any piece of jewelry - it's something you'll hopefully wear for the rest of your life, as it symbolizes the bond of your relationship.

    If you truly do not like the way it looks, there is nothing wrong with that. There is no right or wrong answer. I would approach them at the right time, and simply say how you feel, in a genuine way. Be thankful regardless, and work towards finding something that will please both parties. Communication - that's all it takes.

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  • Jen
    Super May 2018
    Jen ·
    • Flag

    When H first proposed I did not like my ring. It was nothing like what I thought I wanted as my engagement ring. I was 100% honest with him and he was accepting and understanding that although he loved it for me because I had to wear it every day, not him, I should love my ring too. He told me that when we got back home from vacation we could go to the jewelers and I could pick out the ring I wanted.

    After wearing my ring for the rest of our vacation I decided that even though it wasn't what I had pictured as an engagement ring, I did love it. I told H that I was going to keep the ring he picked and that we didn't need to go to the jeweler when we got home. Now, almost two years later, I absolutely adore my ring and couldn't imagine a different ring on my finger.


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  • Lc
    Super September 2018
    Lc ·
    • Flag
    When my fiancé first proposed to me, I hated the ring. It was exactly the opposite of what I wanted, and he knew what I liked!!

    However, he told me he spent months trying to find the “perfect” ring and I truly believed that he put his all into choosing it. So I gave it time, and now I love it. I could never see myself asking for a new one, even if it didn’t grow on me. The ring means so much to me.
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  • c
    Super May 2019
    c ·
    • Flag
    He chose a style I didn’t think I’d ever like, but when I saw the ring I was in love instantly. Now I hate the style I thought I would love to have and adore the one he chose. I guess he knows me better than I know myself? Lol
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  • Carol
    Super September 2018
    Carol ·
    • Flag
    I helped my FH pick out the style I wanted- very very thin basic gold solitaire with a small marquise diamond- I showed him the width of the band I wanted and everything, I don’t love jewelry so I wanted the thinnest possible. When he proposed the ring was so much thicker and I hated it! He explained that the jeweler told him a thicker band wouldn’t break as easily as a thin band (because what do I do in my office job that would snap any ring? Lol.) Everything else was spot on but the band width and the style where it dips in around the diamond. I went back and forth for a week and I knew I didn’t love it. I tried mentioning it but he is so sentimental (bless his heart) he looked so sad when I mentioned a different band width. It bothered him that I wouldn’t be wearing the exact ring he proposed with. So for him I kept it. And it’s grown on me so much. The value of knowing this is the ring he proposed to me with isn’t replaceable. Sure, someday maybe for our ten year anniversary or something I’ll get a different style as I know couples do that sometimes, but the ring I wear is the ring intended for me ❤️

    What do you do if you don't like your ring? 2
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  • C
    Savvy October 2018
    ceo418 ·
    • Flag

    I knew before we even got engaged that I didn't want to wear my engagement ring after the wedding, just the wedding band. So FH and I went to a department store and picked out a very nice cubic zirconia ring that was flat with several small gemstones. I loved that ring, and it was the one he used to propose to me.

    His mother didn't like the look of the ring when we told them we were engaged (although she didn't say anything at the time) and later lectured him about how he should have come to her and they could have gone to pick out a diamond, etc. Two weeks later, she took it upon herself to visit a jewelry store and picked out several options, then told FH to come down and look at them.

    The result is that for Christmas I received a diamond ring that was the exact style I didn't want. It's got several small diamonds around a larger one (I think that's called a halo?) and it sticks up from my finger. It's beautiful, but I still am not going to wear it after the wedding day. I only want to wear the wedding band, and I am determined that he and I will go pick those out together without any input from FMIL.

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  • K
    Dedicated March 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Initially I was dead set against a diamond. LOL. I wanted a color stone and something not typical. I don't like being like everyone else, I like to be different! I didn't want a ring that thousands of other women have either. In the end I ended up getting a 3 stone diamond ring lol! While it is a traditional style ring, it is one of a kind since we know the jewler who made it, so I did get that much lol.
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  • K
    Dedicated March 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Oh, and I absolutely LOVE my ring!!!!
    • Reply
  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    Well my husband had me pick out the ring. So I adore my ring. I had designed it on James Allen and had a custom request set up and everything. I told him just go into my email, this is what I want. He says you buy it right now because you know what you want and I don’t want to mess it up.
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  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
    • Flag
    This is precisely why my husband asked me to come with him to pick out the ring. He said he really would have liked it to be a surprise but also knows I’m very particular and preferred that I pick it out. I picked out the setting snd then removed myself from the process. He went back to the jeweler and picked out the diamond. We had lived together for 5 years already so it wasn’t really a surprise that we were going to get married. The jeweler has told us that the ring would be ready in 8 weeks. Somehow, my husband pushed them to get the ring done in 4 weeks, just in time for our vacation to the Grand Canyon. He proposed formally at the Grand Canyon at sunset and even hired a photographer to capture the moment, so it ended up being s surprise after all.
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  • Jennifer
    Master September 2018
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    When I first got my ring, it was nothing like I had imagined. But as others have said, I realized he put a lot of love and time into searching for it, and I love it now. I cannot imagine any other ring.

    • Reply
  • Raina
    Super October 2017
    Raina ·
    • Flag

    I"m just going to start off saying I love my ring... husband custom built it with a jeweler and had it engraved all around, it is so beautiful. I would never have the guts to tell my husband if I didn't like the ring because honestly it's more about the fact that someone wants to spend their life with you and not the ring. Short story a girl who is related to my older sister by marriage, when she got engaged she told her FH that she hated the ring and was building her own... she was mad because she told this guy to propose with a fake ring just so she could make her own and because she thought he would pick something ugly.. so tacky and oh so rude.... I thought the original ring was MUCH prettier than the one she built..... oh well.

    ETA. Also when showing people her original ring she would start off by saying "This isn't the "real" ring"

    • Reply
  • Kaylyn
    Super May 2019
    Kaylyn ·
    • Flag
    When my FW proposed I was surprised with the ring she chose, it’s not that I didn’t like it but I had pictured something different. She told me how much effort she put into find my ring, I love it so much and would never dream of getting a different ring.
    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    I love the ring that my husband picked but it's nothing like what I would have picked for myself. And I loved it even more after talking to the jeweler when we went to get it sized. She was telling me about him picking it out and how excited he was when he found the perfect ring.
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated July 2018
    Amber ·
    • Flag
    I agre with some others, I think even if I hated it I would learn to love it cause he took the time and effort to pick out something special and that meaning is way more important to me! I was set on no diamond I am a very practical person and wanted a moisanite. Look like diamonds but 1/3 of the price I couldn’t rationalize spending thousands on a ring. He had me send him pictures of rings I liked for probably a year, I knew I wanted an emerald cut and a thin petite band so it didn’t take away from the stone. He didn’t listen to one part and got a diamond. A year later on our daughters bday he proposed and I LOVE my ring!!

    What do you do if you don't like your ring? 3

    What do you do if you don't like your ring? 4
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  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
    • Flag

    When I first got my ring, I was soo disappointed (only with the ring it's self of course) because it was;

    1. Gold

    2. Diamonds (not sapphires)

    3. an odd shape

    I said nothing and honestly just told him how much I love it. I really didn't want to crush him as I knew not liking it would.

    Not long after I really began to love it because;

    1. the diamonds were just so dang sparkly

    2. I actually grew to love gold. it really looks better with my skin tone so now I'm not even a fan of silver lol

    3. the wedding band we picked out makes it 10x as sparkly

    4. it belonged to his great grandmother. she specifically gave it to him before she passed to give to me. I really loved her like family and was heartbroken when she passed.

    5. we agreed if we have a child, when they start to get close to needing an engagement ring of their own, we would replace it with a sapphire ring loll

    • Reply
  • Summer
    Super August 2018
    Summer ·
    • Flag

    Thankfully, I got to choose my own ring...but this is something I worried about a little before we got engaged. I have a pretty particular taste but I told myself that if he gave me a ring I didn't like, I would just learn to love it. I'm not advocating for lying to your FH, I would probably say I love that he put so much thought and effort into it, but I never saw myself wearing a ring with X detail - if he got the hint and said "we can exchange it", great, if not I would just wear it and learn to love it - if he likes it on me, that counts for something too. Down the line you can always ask for a specific anniversary set, and even swap out your original ring for that one.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Super September 2018
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I think that theres a few ways to go around this, as most people have shared once you feel the connection to this ring, and the meaning you usually grow to like it.. but if you could get over it then yes you would have to communicate that to you fs... thankfully i love my ring!

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Devoted June 2019
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    I told FH when we started talking about marriage that I wanted a natural sapphire and a white gold band that was smaller because I have tiny hands and anything else would look ridiculous. That’s all I told him and he picked out a gorgeous ring. At first I didn’t like the band because I don’t like diamonds and it seemed too large for my liking but he was so excited about it and how he had it customized. I soon fell in love with the ring and couldn’t imagine any other ring on my finger.

    What do you do if you don't like your ring? 5
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  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
    • Flag
    I love my ring, but I always see some that I like better. Colored gemstones I feel are more me, and I’ve always pictured something unique.
    My current ring is CZ, so when we have the money, FH said I can see about getting another ring. I’ll be fine either way.

    What do you do if you don't like your ring? 6
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