Maltese
Master June 2015

What compromises have you made during wedding planning?

Maltese, on October 3, 2014 at 12:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 33
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FH stresses big time over money (and many times unneeded). To save his sanity and keep from several arguments I agreed to cupcakes over a wedding cake (even though they remind of a birthday party and not a wedding) and made silk floral arrangements for the church altar and unity candle even though I hate silks at a wedding. But it means that our floral quotes will be cut and keep him from having a stroke.

33 Comments

  • Kylene
    VIP October 2014
    Kylene ·

    We kept our guest list smaller than we wanted. We went with Sola flowers instead of regular flowers (I also LOVE real flowers but made that concession). We used the floral arrangements/vases from the venue for our centerpieces (or part of them at least) even though they aren't my favorite. I went with a dress that I love but isn't my dream/perfect dress because it was free. We opted for a location for our honeymoon that neither of us was dying to go to because my dad/stepmom offered to help with miles/points for airfare and hotel (can't decline an amazing offer like that).

    It's going to be an amazing day but if budget wasn't as tight as it was, we'd definitely be doing a few things differently.

  • Elyse
    Master September 2015
    Elyse ·

    I wanted a destination wedding and to spend no more than $10,000 on it. We are getting married at home and the budget has tripled.

    I did not want a BP and FH did. He won that one.

    FH wanted to get married in a church. I didn't care much either way. We are doing ceremony and reception at the same place bc I just feel it's easier (and cheaper) to take travel accommodations out of the mix. He is insisting on a priest andddd I'm saving the rest of that decision for a separate thread.

  • Ali Ess
    Devoted May 2014
    Ali Ess ·

    I really wanted a SMALL (20-30 people) wedding with a reception at one of our favorite restaurants. No big party, just a nice meal --- I am very budget conscious and didn't want to spend a fortune. He wanted to include more family and have it be more of a party. I knew we couldn't do a fancy reception for that many people, but I still wanted it to be classy. So we compromised and did a Sunday brunch with a jazz band.

  • Elle
    Master March 2015
    Elle ·

    Between me and FH? Fh loves almost everything I've picked. WE compromised with my mother for a slightly later start time. aaaaannd We compromised and scaled back my original design idea for the cake... for my mother.

  • K + B
    VIP September 2014
    K + B ·

    We cut the guest list, favors, welcome gifts for the OOT guest (which was the majority of them), we cut the candy and popcorn bar which we thought we HAD to have. But the biggest compromise was our savings. We didn't want to dip into it but we didn't want to put anything on credit either. So we are working really hard to replace what we spent. Hopefully- it will be replaced in he next couple months.

  • E
    Master July 2015
    Emma ·

    He agreed to wear the light grey suits I wanted him to if I gave him 5 blowjobs in a month.

    Mission accomplished.

  • Kathryn
    Master September 2015
    Kathryn ·

    I really really wanted a wedding band(music not the ring) but the prices are just too high. We compromised and went with a dj and that allowed me to get the dress I wanted.

    Both of us wanted an indoor reception and had 0 interest in anything outdoors. Our whole wedding is outdoors now and I have random panic attacks thinking about the weather issues that could present themselves. Thankfully we will be in a tent but that doesn't protect against cold!

    I wanted a severed meal but buffet is so much cheaper. Also I wanted a huge, baller wedding cake ( I make cakes myself) but after getting quotes on what it would be for my vision it just seemed ridiculous. I am currently planning on making a fake cake with some sheet cakes myself. Hopefully the budget will open up so that doesn't have to happen.

    I am not upset by anything of these things though, I am quite excited. It funny how your original ideas change so quickly once you get a budget and quotes.

  • Alyssa
    Master April 2015
    Alyssa ·

    I originally wanted a plated meal and we went with buffet. I originally wanted assigned tables and we went with open seating *sigh*

    @Emma, only 5? That's not a whole lot. Looks like you win!

  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·

    LMFAO Emma!!!!!

  • Angie
    VIP August 2015
    Angie ·

    Be faster to list what I'm NOT compromising on! That's an EVEN bridal party!

    Some of the things I'm compromising on, silk flowers, guest list (shes inviting people from her work), Venue (We got the firehall for FREE so I can't complain much), Food (she somehow thinks shes going to get pasta from 3 hours away and somehow its going to magically be warm by the reception), Cake (She won't let me make it), dj (a co-worker is doing it for $200 and I don't know him), and the officiant (never met it but also a co-worker offered).

    ETA: Ohh and I forgot about assigning seats, when I mentioned it, fw looked at me like "this isn't a classroom." (Insert eye roll here).

  • Emmy
    Master January 2015
    Emmy ·

    I didn't want to compromise but FH did for me, kids can be at the ceremony. Also, I wanted cookies and cake pops rather than a cake, we're having a cake

  • AndixLyn
    Master June 2015
    AndixLyn ·

    Going with the in house video/photo guy at the all inclusive venue instead of paying big bucks for some fantastic folks id love to use.

  • Jess
    Master May 2015
    Jess ·

    Well, since I wanted to go to the courthouse, the entire wedding is a compromise! I pretty much refuse to compromise on anything now, he made me do this, it's going to be my way. I think we will have a blowout on the tuxes though... he thinks the only color is black and I want dark gray.

  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·

    @Jess....LOVE the way you think! You go girl!

  • DeniseD
    Master May 2015
    DeniseD ·

    The bridal party. I didn't want anyone but the church sponsor (my friend), his best man and the flowersgirls/ring bears and the crown boy. The bridal party ballooned to be 20 people vs. the 5 with because FH needed his brothers (I was fine not having mine or my sister stand up).

    I wanted a small head table, nope, got to have the brothers up there so all 22 of us at head tables.

    FH didn't like the invite I liked (well, to be honest, nobody else did to but I liked them) boohoo poopoo to them.

    I'm going to be vague about the flowers arrangements. I want some willow branches sticking out even if they look like alien antenas.

  • Annael25
    VIP May 2016
    Annael25 ·

    I didn't really want to get married in a church, but my FH and in-laws are members of the church, so I'm willing to compromise this.

    Also compromised on the guest list and am not inviting a lot of people I'd like to invite.

    I wanted a full open bar, but we can't really afford it, so I had to compromise with FH for that.

  • Hailey
    Super October 2014
    Hailey ·

    I compromised w/ FH on a few plus ones that I didn't want to give out.... I've really gotten to do whatever else I wanted thought because FH keeps thinking it's a good idea to not care about my decision until after it's made! He wants input, or voices his opinion after I've made commitments several times, despite me talking to him about this specifically and ALWAYS asking for his input prior to making decisions. So, FH has made a lot of compromises, I guess? Haha, whatever, he keeps saying he wants me to be happy, and I'm going to be!

    Edit for typos

  • Jess D
    VIP May 2015
    Jess D ·

    We both talked about alot for the wedding, I wanted blue a (like the blue that is around post comment) and he wanted purple to represent loyalty/royalty, its more symbolic when you think about it in a biblical sense.

    so I put those two colors together and they work absolutely great!

    IDC what others say, some say that its terrible and tacky but have they put them together? no they havent.

    also I compromised wearing a two tiered veil to go over my face (again biblical significance and it means alot to him) and I honestly dont mind it

    HAVING A PALM TREE, we agreed outside and I can make that our"welcome" sign thing.

    let me explain,

    his name in Hebrew means palm tree.

    so he wants it in the wedding

    my name in hebrew means in the shade of

    so put us together and our names mean in the shade the palm tree

    so our names fit and we are planning on having something that explains that. I wasnt too keen on having a palm tree at a rustic wedding but im like as long as its outside

  • Shelby H.
    VIP October 2014
    Shelby H. ·

    That's how I feel too, Jess. I wanted 15-20 people, an awesome weekend at a BnB and then dancing at the W. He said no no no no.

    So, now we've got this thing going and guess what? I'm going to get everything I want. Well, I compromised on the centerpieces and I compromised on the tuxedo (I also really wanted gray suits) and we almost had a duel over boutonnieres, but other than that we've been on the same page.

  • Lori
    Master June 2015
    Lori ·

    I wanted our colors to be green and champagne. FH thought it was too Notre Dame (where I went to school). He then proposed green (for ND) and red (for Nebraska, his school). Um no. So we're doing grey and peach instead, because that's neither of our schools.

    And donuts. I really, really, really wanted donuts instead of wedding cake. But EVERYONE vetoed me--it would be better for a morning or a fall wedding, it's not really desert, blah blah blah. I'm going to buy myself a box of Krispy Kremes and have them in the hotel room if that's what it takes.

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