Brittany
Super October 2019

Ways to honor those that have passed.

Brittany, on February 5, 2019 at 11:24 AM Posted in Planning 0 23
Saved Save
Reply

Hi everyone, I would love your opinion. I have a few family members that have passed away recently. I really wanted to do something to honor them at the wedding. I've seen a bunch of ideas on Pinterest that include creating memory tables with photos and a prayer/poem/saying. I've thought about this, but I'm not sure. I just don't want anyone to be sad. I'm particularly thinking of my Aunt and how she lost her son, my cousin, suddenly and tragically last year. She is still devastated. I don't want her to see a photo of him and then it turns into an extremely sad day for her...however, I know that honoring him (and my other loved ones) would mean a lot. Any ideas?

23 Comments

  • A
    Expert January 2020
    Abby ·
    • Flag
    You could put out extra seats that say reserved for and then put their name. This way there’s not a picture but there’s a seat for them with their name so that the rest of the family realizes they are honored and you miss them but still wanted them apart of your wedding. I’m sorry for your loss it’s always very hard losing loved ones. Good luck on your weddding. I wish you the best.
    • Reply
  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
    • Flag

    I know you mentioned maybe not wanting to, but we plan on doing a table with a If Heaven wasn't so far away... or a Wish you were here sign and photos of those who have passed. FH's dad passed away and all of our grandparents have passed as well so we wanted to incorporate them. I'd hope she could see the happiness that his life meant so much you wanted to include him in your wedding, but I understand death is hard.

    Maybe just mention something during the ceremony about how there are many that couldn't make it here today because Heaven was just too far away.

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP April 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    Following because i'm trying to find something too

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    I was going to suggest putting a photo of them in a seat at the ceremony, or their name on a reserved seat, BUT that might make your Aunt equally as sad, if she were to walk up on that. I think a table with all of their photos on it and something saying "in loving memory" at the reception would still honor them without calling out too much attention to create sadness.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    We are doing a memory table at our ceremony. It will have a cross & a candle, with a sign that says "You should be here". Unfortunately all our grandparents have passed, so they will all be on there. I'm also having two lockets sewn into my bridal bouquet with my grandparents pictures in the locket. I might gift my fiance a small locket to put in his pocket with his grandparents pictures too. I'm sure people will be sad seeing them, but for us, it's a way to remember them and we need that. Maybe just talk to your aunt before? My cousin also did a table at hers with family pictures, some had passed & some hadn't, so it wasn't a memory table as much as a family table.

    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    VIP June 2019
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag

    We are having our officiant make a remark at the beginning of the ceremony. It will be something like: "Though we are fortunate to be here on this day, there were many who were not able to join us. Let us take a moment to think about Trevor and Alexandra's loved ones who were unable to attend, and those who are no longer with us."

    Unfortunately, none of my grandparents will be at the wedding (three have passed; one is unwell and cannot travel). I'm placing two charms in my bouquet with photographs of them - I don't want anyone to be sad by seeing a table or empty seats, but I do want them to be with me as I get married.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag

    What about photos on your bouquet? I would ask your aunt before doing something bigger because it could be so hard for her. My hubby's mom passed away 10 years ago but he still couldn't have any reminders of her (even a candle ceremony) because he said he's lose it and wanted our day to be joyful not sad.

    As a guest or bride, I could be ok with a memory table (not sure this is a good idea for your aunt) but empty seats or the photo on a seat is heartbreaking.

    • Reply
  • Loren
    Dedicated October 2020
    Loren ·
    • Flag
    I have a treasured picture of my grandmother and I plan on holding it and having a picture made.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Dedicated March 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    My FH has lost both parents, grandparents and god parents. I have lost my grandparents and my god mother. We were thinking of reserving two seats for his parents at the ceremony and having something like the attached at the reception.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Dedicated March 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    Please See above

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 1
    • Reply
  • ashley
    Dedicated August 2019
    ashley ·
    • Flag

    Have you thought about having a memory table, but maybe subbing the photos just with candles (or flowers or something) for each person? We had a friend do this recently, they had candles in different heights that had labels on each holder that was for each person.

    • Reply
  • SpringBride23
    Devoted March 2019
    SpringBride23 ·
    • Flag
    For my sister who passed away, I am leaving a chair empty next my parents and I’m going to place a rose from my bouquet on the seat.
    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted January 2019
    Jesalina ·
    • Flag
    I think honoring people is a good thing in my personal opinion and experiences. I had a memory table at the reception (my family had lost many family members, and everyone was extremely touched by it). They were sad, but only for a moment. There are a lot of cute, not so obvious things as well... for example my bouquet was wrapped with my dads tie, and pins from my aunts. My husband lost his brother, we had a pin made for him with his brothers picture. Pics are of my bouquet, and memory table dont have a pic of the pin.

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 2

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 3
    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted January 2019
    Jesalina ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Love this idea, very sweet.
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Rockstar May 2020
    Cristy ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I love the idea of your father's tie!! My dad is very ill, and probably won't be with us by the time we get married. I've been thinking hard about ways that I could have him with me. This is a GREAT idea. Stealing it!! Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Master December 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    You could reserve them a seat with a picture of them, set up a table with candles and a cute saying to honor them, put them in your programs? My BM on her bouquet had a small locket picture of her grandma tied around the stem! Maybe specialized cuff links!
    • Reply
  • dancingwiththekumars
    Expert May 2018
    dancingwiththekumars ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. My cousin just tragically passed 2 weeks ago Smiley sad

    At my wedding last year, we had a 'Wish You Were Here' Table with a big white lantern. I had my Dad's photo as the largest, and then about 10 other photos of departed close relatives. If you don't want to put your cousin's photo, maybe just put his name in a frame? Candles and flowers on the table are nice. I preferred this because it gave guests a chance to walk over and see the photos on their own time (labeled with the person's name and their relationship to me or my hub). It did not feel sad, instead I actually felt like they had their own table at our lunch.

    We had this set up at our ceremony lunch where we had more guests (our reception was tiny).

    • Reply
  • C
    VIP January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    I didn’t like the idea of a memorial table so
    this what I did.
    I Put a brooch my greagrandmother gave me on my bouquet (don’t have a picture of it from the photographer yet)
    my great grandfathers Pinocchio on the bar
    my grandfathers race program in a shadow
    box with a picture of me and him on the card table
    played a song for my uncle.


    Ways to honor those that have passed. 4

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 5

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 6
    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Devoted April 2020
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    My FH dad passed away a few months ago so it got me thinking about it and I decided to do a tri-fold reservation for the chairs and put a single rose in all of them and his dad's will have 12, in addition to this I'm making a glass that will say "in memory" with his dad's name and picture with his pocket Square and buttonerre attached to the glass

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 7

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 8
    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    I made these for my bouquet. I was very close to my aunt and grandpa. I didnt want to make a big show of the in memoriam thing because weddings are happy! So I did these.

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 9

    Ways to honor those that have passed. 10
    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

×