(this is going to be very long bc I don't know how to shut up, so I apologize in advance)
It's spring break this week, so we've been taking advantage of my rare down time and touring venues. Between school and work I don't really get days off, so I was hoping to have a venue figured out this week since I'm taking courses this summer also. We're paying for everything ourselves, a couple of early-20-somethings still establishing ourselves financially, and weddings aren't cheap. We're not super suffering, but we're also nowhere near in a position to drop $10k for a day, y'know? I know that backyard weddings (or similar) are a *thing* now for young, poor people like us, but neither of our families live in... nice places. So that's not really an option. We're also not religious, so no churches. We both hate the idea of an outdoor wedding. All this plus our limited budget makes venues hard to find.
I've been scouring the internet the last couple months and there were only three that fit the bill. Looked at them all this week. The first one was significantly out of price range. Y'know, after we got there and the lady told us all the little things that was very conveniently left out of the pamphlet she sent me. The second one was just... not good. I'm glad we didn't bother to book an appointment, bc it took standing there for 5mins for FH to say "absolutely not." And he doesn't normally have strong opinions about anything, lol. The final one was good. I really like it. It's pretty, it's conveniently located, and it was our top choice from the get-go. I... can't think of anything wrong with it. I've crunched the numbers over and over again for this place, one of their approved caterers, and the alcohol. If we're diligent, we can afford it. But I'm still not jumping for joy. I'm excited, and I'd love to get married there, but the idea of committing such a large sum of money is scaring me. The most ridiculous thing about it is that this place is VERY reasonably priced.
The venue is only $1,500 for a 10 hour rental. The entire building is done in literally the perfect color, so I don't even feel a serious need to decorate. They supply almost everything we need. It's two stories and we get full reign of both. They do have a list of preferred caterers we have to pick from, but one of them is priced very modestly. I'm a numbers person, so I've done the math a dozen times now. Venue, catering, and alcohol would all be $3k. And I know that is an amazing deal. I know this place is probably perfect. But I'm also the girl who spent over half an hour debating on purchasing a $40 purse I desperately needed for school just bc I get extreme guilt buying things for myself. Side effects of generational poverty. I want to be excited about all of this, but the price tags are stressing me out.
At the same time, though, I really, really do want a nice wedding. Not a fancy wedding, not an expensive wedding, but a nice wedding. I know this probably sounds childish, but I've never had professional pictures done, I didn't get to do prom, I've only really celebrated my birthday maybe twice in the last 8 years, I've never even had my nails professionally done. We don't get to *do* nice things in my family, and this is only wedding I'll ever have, and I just kind of want it to be nice. I feel like it's sort of my last chance. And thinking that makes me feel guilty and selfish but at the same time I feel I'll always regret it if we just eloped. We're doing what we can to save. The guest list is only about 50 people. The wedding is on a Tuesday. We're having a semi-long engagement, just under two years. I actually already bought my dress. Used, off Facebook, for $250.
I guess I'm being rant-y bc I'm hoping other users will validate my feelings and convince me to book. The only person I'm close to who had an actual wedding was my sister, and she hated it. She succumbed to the mindset I'm struggling with right now, spent basically nothing, and regrets it so much that looking at her pictures upsets her. I know she'd tell me to book, but I honestly feel guilty talking about wedding things with her sometimes bc of how awful she feels about her own. I dunno. Paying for this wouldn't break the bank for us. The problem is really just justifying all of this to myself. Is it worth it or is it irresponsible?
I didn't mean to write a novel, but I always do. Thanks for the venting outlet, lol.