Laura
Devoted January 2020

Toasts at Reception

Laura, on February 27, 2019 at 9:55 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 21
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My fiancé told me the other day, “I’m going to put that in my toast for the wedding.” I was like awww wait. You’re doing a toast? And he was like YES!
My mom kind of thinks it’s unneccessary. I did also ask my mentor to give a short one since she knows both my fiancé and I very well.
What do y’all think? Also, should it be a champagne toast? (We would have to pay extra for champagne). Our venue has an open bar included - ALL drinks. So I’m wondering what we should do if we do decide to give a toast/speeches.

21 Comments

  • Fiona
    Expert October 2018
    Fiona ·
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    Our dads did the toast so I can’t comment on that. I’d say do whatever feels right to you both. As far as paying extra for the champagne toast we did not do this. We had guests toast with what they were already drinking. So many times I see the champagne get one sip and then left cause people don’t like it. To me it felt like a waste.
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar August 2020
    Jasmine ·
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    You can make it a champagne toast if you'd like, if it fits in your budget but I think it's cute that your fiance wants to make a toast. It's not unusual.

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  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
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    Agree. I can have my day of coordinator let people know it’s coming up and see if people want to get drinks, etc. We’re already paying so much for a really good bar selection I don’t think it’s worth it. Plus our venue provides us with champagne for our cake cutting (great for pictures) and allows us to bring a bottle of champagne for the couple for a toast. Anything else we’d have to pay extra.
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  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
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    Yeah!! He’s so precious. We’re about 10 months out and the fact that he’s thinking about that already is so sweet.
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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
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    During the rehearsal dinner I will be giving a thank you "speech" and my MOH and Best Man will be saying a few words as well. Then we plan on opening it up to anyone else who might want to say a few words (mom, FMIL, Grandparents, etc). its significantly less formal and we would hate for anyone who may have wanted to say something not be able to. At the reception, Dad, FFIL, BM, and MOH will give a more formal toast. I think my dad giving one is less traditional but he kind of got gypted at my brothers wedding (long story, SIL & family are just genuinely horrible, materialistic, and self centered people) so I have been doing a lot to "over-include" them both on everything since they missed out so much with my brother. FH (hubby at that point Smiley winking ) will also say a quick thank you to the larger group of guests as well.

    My parents are paying for most/have offered to pay for all, FH parents are helping with the open bar and rehearsal dinner. We kind of have 2 budgets, 1 that I will give my parents for "reimbursement" and the other that is the actual since we have decided on halving the cost of everything (other than the major vendors) to pay for ourselves since I feel guilty spending that much of my (now retired) parents money, but also know the wrath of paying for something they have offered to pay for. With those things in mind we wanted to give everyone the chance to say something.

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  • Laura
    Devoted January 2020
    Laura ·
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    Thanks for the breakdown! It helps. Should’ve mentioned... we probably aren’t doing a traditional rehearsal dinner since I have such a small bridal party!
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  • Yoice
    VIP March 2019
    Yoice ·
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    We plan on doing a toast at the welcome party. Every single member that’s on the wedding would be here so we would take a less formal approach to give our speach.
    Our parents would not give a speech at our wedding only the BMs and MOHs.
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  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
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    I've seen the groom/bride give a speech before the cake cutting as a thank you speech. You could turn that into more of a toast. Your FH could also do a toast to open the reception.

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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar August 2020
    Jasmine ·
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    That's great! We pushed our date back to 2021 and I'm so bummed but i know it'll work out in the end and be exactly what we want! I remember one night when I was trying to sleep, I was overwhelmed and couldn't go back to sleep until I wrote out what was going through my mind and BAM! My vows were born Smiley catface

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  • S
    Devoted March 2019
    Sashy ·
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    Aww that's beautiful and completely normal. I've been to mamy wedding where the bride and/or geiom give both a toast and thank you speech. Also, if he wants to do it, let him! So sweet and thoughtful of his part that I'd be so sad to tell him not to do it if it were me. Good luck!
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  • A
    Master October 2019
    Angelena ·
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    I never really see the couple do a toast at the actual wedding. I have only seen FOB toasts. Usually the toast by the groom and bride is given at the rehearsal dinner. But I don't see what's wrong with him giving the toast instead of your father. Your father can give a speech if he still wants to, but not two toasts!

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    If he wants to do a toast, then he should do a toast....it's his wedding too. No need to buy champagne though. That is a dying tradition, and most people choose to let their guests use whatever they are drinking.

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  • Megan
    VIP January 2019
    Megan ·
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    My dad toasted, his dad toasted, our BM and MOH toasted and then he and I gave a brief thank you speech. Not a toast because that’s weird to toast your self.... but a thank you to our parents, our wedding party and our guests is common and appropriate
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I've been to weddings where the bride & groom do a welcome toast. It's your wedding, your fiance speaking makes sense! I like champagne toasts, but no one will miss them with an open bar since they will toast with whatever is in their hand.

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  • Laura
    Rockstar October 2019
    Laura ·
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    I mean no disrespect to your mom, I promise, but it's up to you and your fiancee! If he wants to give a toast I think it's sweet. Most grooms could care less about any of that stuff, so if you have a guy who wants to do that I say let him! You don't have to toast with champagne. I've been to several weddings that used wine, and i've even seen beer and shots. I think you go with what is appropriate for the two of you.

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  • Tina
    Savvy May 2019
    Tina ·
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    Ok im so confused I've read so many different things..Who is to give speeches and in what order..
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  • heather
    Dedicated May 2019
    heather ·
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    We plan on having BM & MOH and each dad do a toast. You totally don't have to have champagne, especially if people don't care for it. Sparkling wine or whatever everyone happens to be drinking at the time is just fine.

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  • heather
    Dedicated May 2019
    heather ·
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    Who all gives speeches it totally up to you. If you want any of your wedding party to speak, typically the Best Man starts, followed by the MOH and other wedding party members after. Then father/parent of bride speaks followed by father/parent of groom. But still keep in mind this is just a general guide and you can do things in whatever order you want. its your day after all!

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  • Adrianna
    Devoted June 2020
    Adrianna ·
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    I was a BM in a wedding last year, and the groom did a welcome speech once everyone sat down for dinner. I thought it was a nice gesture to thank everyone for coming and show his excitement for his new bride. I love the idea of it! I may even see if my FH wants to do something like that too. I have also seen where the father of the bride also does a welcome speech. In the wedding I was at, the father gave the welcome speech after the groom did.
    For the actual toasts later on, I will be using champagne. Also, for the sake of time, because I want to have enough time to dance and enjoy the party, we are limiting our toast speeches to only the MOH and Best Man.

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  • Becca
    Expert July 2019
    Becca ·
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    I think it is sweet that he wants to give a little speech! It is a great opportunity for him to thank the people who came to support you guys. I think in general people use the word "toast" as a speech. He may want to express extra why he loves you too... who knows! Honestly with weddings anymore, there is very little that seems "weird" to me.

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