Beginner October 2014

To Change Name.. Or Not to Change

LoveMrGreen, on April 6, 2014 at 11:09 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 23
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To start off, this is not an issue at all between FH and I... I just thought it would be interesting and fun to see everyone's views and what they would do?

This is my first marriage, however, this is FH's second. His Ex Wife was a CRAZZZZYYY Lady/ Big Time Hoebag and it didn't last but a year. The really sucky part is her and I share the same First Name.. ( I always kid with FH about how I am 2.0, the upgrade version ) So if your FH had an ex with the same name as yours, would you change your last name, knowing it will be the exact same name as the Ex?

Just so you know my decision, I am changing my last name to his.. She is remarried and it will be MY Name now, and damn proud of it!


  • Mrs.ChanelNewNew
    VIP November 2014
    Mrs.ChanelNewNew ·

    I'd definitely change it if she's remarried. Clearly it's not her name anymore. If she still had it maybe I'd hyphenate lol

  • A&G
    Master August 2014
    A&G ·

    I'll be changing my name. At first I didn't think much of it, didn't know what I would do, but it is important for my FH that I change my name. So I will.

    It is the first marriage for both of us, so an ex with the same last name isn't an issue for us.

  • 2d Bride
    Master October 2009
    2d Bride ·

    There was no way I would ever have changed my name--and I've never been dealing with an ex with the same name. Why should I lose my professional reputation, the friends I knew before, etc., just because I was getting married?

  • Becky
    Super September 2014
    Becky ·

    That would be hard if it meant you had the exact same name, but since she's changed hers now, that sounds like it's working out.

    I'm absolutely changing my name. For me, it's an important part of joining to my FH. And since I was married before, it means I get rid of ex-husband's last name, which I'd kept since it is our kids' last name. I'm not sure I could have dated someone with the same first name as my ex.

  • Z
    Master May 2012
    Zoe ·

    I might push harder for FH and I to both change our names to a third last name (not mine, not his, but 'ours' cause we'd both take it).

  • Cassi
    Devoted October 2014
    Cassi ·

    It's an honor to your FH to change your last name. IF I had that situation you are talking about I would strongly consider keeping my last name or hyphenating it.

    Thank goodness she's remarried!

  • Gamecock Mrs.
    Master October 2014
    Gamecock Mrs. ·

    I am thrilled to take FH's last name. My current last name will be moved to my middle name and will drop my given middle name. In the situation you mentioned, I would over use my (new) middle initial. First name C. Lastname. Instead of just first last.

  • Pezzy
    Master May 2014
    Pezzy ·

    Cassi, it may or may not be an honor to her FH. Many guys don't care. Honestly, I am a Gay guy so this issue doesn't apply to me, but I believe it to be an extremely sexist traditional and could care less what people do.

  • DisneyNut
    Master October 2014
    DisneyNut ·

    I can't wait to change mine actually. I still have my ex's last name because our son was only four years old when we seperated and he is now remarried to an insane woman. I'm ready to change mine NOW!!!

  • P
    VIP July 2014
    pittielvr ·

    I am not. I am very proud of who I am what I have accomplished in the 33 years before I marry FH. I see no reason to change my identity. This has always been a deal breaker for me- i remember being a child and learning about this and thinking it's a dumb tradition. I flat out told Fh a few months after we became exclusive that I am 1. Not changing my name 2. I am not a baby machine. 3. I believe in 50/50- and if we were going to live together traditional gender roles will not apply.

  • jenna_
    Master March 2015
    jenna_ ·

    I'm changing my name to FH's and even in that scenario, i still would. like you said, it's YOUR name now. and you truly are the 2.0 upgraded version.

  • Chrissy
    Expert June 2014
    Chrissy ·

    Not changing my last name, even without a crazy ex. It took me awhile to make the decision, but now that we have FH and I are both so proud. We did what was right and best for us, and I'm not changing my name just because everyone does.

  • Chelsea
    Super August 2014
    Chelsea ·

    I am still torn. I want to keep my last name. I like it and I have accomplished a lot with it. However, FH wants me to change. The only reason I would CONSIDER changing is IF IF IF we have children, I would want us to all have the same last name. But children and in IF, so I am super torn.

  • Jess
    Master May 2015
    Jess ·

    Wow, that would be super annoying if she still had the name! I'm irritated because FH's ex kept his name, couldn't imagine if we had the same first name.... although her first name is my middle name! There's a lot of bad blood between the two of us as well. I'd still change it though.

    Can't wait to change my name; still have my ex's last name.

  • LoveMrGreen
    Beginner October 2014
    LoveMrGreen ·

    Thanks for the responses! I know this topic has come up before, but it is interesting to see the views with a small twist to it!!

    Just to add on to some of the views for this topic, I had this discussion with some of the gals here at work, and it was 50/50 if they would change their name with the EX Wife having the same name. One of the girls pointed out that it would be like me just stepping into her shoes. If they still had names on credit cards and papers, that I could take right over (I know this cannot happen legally, but you get what I am saying about the name being exactly the same... just an example )

    Again, Thank You all for your views and opinions.

  • Emma
    Master October 2024
    Emma ·

    I guess I would hyphenate it, but it really is a strange scenario, can't be very common. I thought about the whole new last name debacle, and in the end, I really do want to change my last name. I want to take his last name so we can become a family. When we have children, I want to have the same last name as my kids.

  • Cricket Catering
    September 2019
    Cricket Catering ·

    I never changed mine. In some ways, with having kids, having us all be the same name would make things easier. Mostly it never matters to anyone. My husband doesn't care. He is from Ecuador. The kids are First name Dad's last name Mom's last name.

  • Mama Lea
    Expert May 2014
    Mama Lea ·

    Not changing 2nd marriage for both of us and his ex is crazier than crazy and took him to court to change her name but never did after the divorce so I would share name and I will not be the next Mrs.......... I will keep my last name also, because my children have hyphenated names and my last name is the first part of their last name and since FH and I are not having children together it is better for the kids as well.

  • Me and Mr. B
    VIP August 2014
    Me and Mr. B ·

    I can't wait to change my name!! I still have my ex's last name because we have three kids together but now my kids are older and I want nothing to do with that last name.

  • Mallory Abroad
    Master October 2014
    Mallory Abroad ·

    I wouldn't change my name for all the tea in China.

    I didn't change it when I got married the first time either

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