duchess
Super May 2017

So uncomfortable....

duchess, on April 7, 2017 at 3:54 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 14
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I think I just need some virtual "hugs"....This is my second marriage...I'm 55. Had severe sleep apnea for many years which caused many issues..gained weight....had double jaw surgery and genioplasty which cured the sleep apnea...yay! lost about 35 pounds...yay! But...still bigger then I want to be...plus I may never have feeling in the lower part of my face (which changed from the surgery)...so its difficult to figure out how to smile naturally...so since the surgery 2 years ago I have avoided photos. Then add the age on top of that...I just look into a mirror and freak out. Obviously I want what every bride wants...to walk down the aisle and feel beautiful.....this is obviously a blatant request for some uplifting words!

14 Comments

  • B
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    You will be beautiful because God created you that way rather your a thin mint or big as a house any man who loves you for you will accept you either way it will be your day so enjoy cause you are who you are be thankful babes!!!

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  • ConleyToBe
    Super April 2018
    ConleyToBe ·
    • Flag

    You will look beautiful no matter what! The important thing is to remind yourself you're marrying someone you love in front of people you love, and there is nothing better than that. (: Age is just a number, in no way, shape, or form, does it mean you cannot own it! You got this girl!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    January 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Beautiful /=/ skinny. You're healthy, happy and going to be married to someone who loves you exactly as you are.

    Listen, I'm 60; I don't know how it happened while I wasn't watching, lol...but I'll never be younger and that's okay!

    Embrace your freak self and keep practicing that smile!!!

    • Reply
  • Anne
    Master April 2017
    Anne ·
    • Flag

    You are going to be a beautiful bride, and your FH is going to love seeing you walk down the aisle!! He loves you the way you are, so you should try and see yourself through his eyes Smiley smile Congratulations on losing 35 pounds! For pictures - you don't have to do a full smile, do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

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  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag

    We are our own worst critics and you probably see more of what you consider your "flaws" than anyone else. Keep focused on the fact that your FH loves you, you are going to have a wonderful wedding and life together, and enjoy the radiance that love brings that makes all brides glow and beautiful on their wedding day.

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  • SarahE.
    Expert October 2017
    SarahE. ·
    • Flag

    You ARE beautiful. Just remember that. We aren't cookie cutters as I like to call it. We all come in different sizes and different features. That does not make you any less beautiful than the next. I also agree with @Rachhie age is just a number! Or better yet just think of it as you are level 55 in life. My FH uses that term. Your FH loves you and thinks the world of you so don't ever let go of that!

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  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·
    • Flag

    @catlady5x is spot on. The negative words that we use when describing ourselves would never even cross our mind when we look at someone we love. There's nothing wrong with having things you aren't 100% happy with, that's human. There is no reason to let that stand in the way of really enjoying your day with your FH. He is in love with you; All of you. The road to loving yourself is a long one (but hugely important), so for now do your best to remind yourself of the beauty that he sees in you, the beauty of the life you've created together, and the beauty of this day that you are sharing with all your loved ones.

    You will be a beautiful bride, your FH will feel so blessed to be marrying you, and you will have an amazing day.

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  • duchess
    Super May 2017
    duchess ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for the support....and the wonderful comments. I am strong in many ways...this area I am hyper sensitive to.....Just need to breathe....I am sure I will be revisiting your comments on a daily basis during the next 43 days! Thank you! Thank you!

    • Reply
  • Kelly M.
    Super October 2016
    Kelly M. ·
    • Flag

    This will seem like an unrelated story, but bear with me. I've noticed recently (in the last year or two) that my mom has looked odd in pictures. She looks like she's not really having fun, or just looks a little flat, her smile's a little false. My mom usually looks great in photos; she's naturally pretty and pleasant to be around, and it shows - but not lately.

    I finally connected the dots. A few years ago, my mom started saying that if she won the lottery she would get plastic surgery on her eyes, because they are getting hooded (she is 60). I figured out that she was trying to compose her face in photos so that her eyes looked more open. In fact, she just looked odd and stiff. I would A MILLION TIMES OVER rather have a photo of my mom laughing and having fun with hooded eyes than one where she looks marginally "prettier."

    Everyone wants to look beautiful for their wedding day, I know! I was worried about the same thing, because it felt like I had just one shot at being my most lovely. But you want to look like the most beautiful, and happiest version of you, whatever that is. Look at yourself through your loved ones' eyes and you will find that your happiness and radiance will shine through on that day like no other.

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  • duchess
    Super May 2017
    duchess ·
    • Flag

    @Kelly...thanks for sharing that....I do that myself because I am so self conscious. Think I am going to make sure there are more informal, natural photos versus the staged, posed ones.

    • Reply
  • M
    VIP March 2017
    Miss S. ·
    • Flag

    Try seeing yourself the way FH sees you, as a beautiful, and dare I say, sexy lady who makes his heart glow! As far as photos go, share your concerns with your photographer. They're a professional, they know how to make the good shots happen.

    • Reply
  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
    • Flag

    Mid 40s, plus size bride here. I'm just going to accentuate the positive features I have & the accept the rest...I am who I am. Think of the things you might be telling yourself...you would never, in a million years say those things to a close friend. Don't do it to yourself either :o I agree with PP that we are our own worst critic.

    I was able to research different poses online & also discussed my concerns with my photographer/had epics done as a trial. One thing she told us was when we are natural/having fun...those tend to be the best pics : )

    • Reply
  • Rosa
    Dedicated May 2019
    Rosa ·
    • Flag

    Hi OP. First, I want to congratulate you for being a strong woman with willpower to come out of all the struggles and fulfill your dream of getting married . I think that on its own shows how determined you are . Take that same determination to do another great thing for yourself and that is to be the happiest you could ever imagine on your wedding day . Your smile will be perfect because it will be real . Your eyes will shine and your skin will glow because you will be marrying the love of your life . I would suggest focusing more of the details you do like more and embrace them . If it's your hair, have it down and with some romantic curls (of course it has to be to your taste) and if it's your eyes make your eyes pop by giving them an extra wow factor with lashes . I wish you the best . Many virtual hugs and good vibes.

    • Reply
  • duchess
    Super May 2017
    duchess ·
    • Flag

    Love the virtual hugs! So helpful! Very affirming!

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