Dedicated April 2014

Rehearsal Dinner Help

Christine, on September 15, 2013 at 9:26 PM Posted in Do It Yourself 0 15
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Alright ladies this is the situation I have before me,

My to be mother and father in law are not paying for any of the wedding because they don't think it is their responsibility. However, the only thing they are paying for is the rehearsal dinner, and they insist on having it at a fancy/expensive place. My parents have decided to put 7k into my wedding and that covers the venue and food.

Everything else is on us. I wouldn't mind not having a rehearsal dinner if they put that money towards the wedding, but they insist on having one. Also, we aren't having alcohol at the wedding because we don't have the funds.

So, here are the two options that my to-be parents have given me,

1. They will pay for the rehearsal dinner, and all out of town guests can come (from both of our sides).

2. They will pay for the rehearsal dinner for the bridal party, my grandparents, and JUST their out of town guests, but they will help pay for alcohol.

Any thoughts on the predicament?


  • Christine
    Dedicated April 2014
    Christine ·

    Also, almost all of our guests will be out of town. I just want a "normal" rehearsal dinner with just the bridal party, parents, and grandparents... Can I insist upon it?

  • Chrissy
    Expert June 2014
    Chrissy ·

    I feel like option two seems to be a good option. Sure, it'd be nice to have everyone at the rehearsal dinner, but if you want alcohol, a smaller rehearsal dinner may be the case.

  • Amy
    Dedicated September 2014
    Amy ·

    I vote option 2.

  • Laudie
    Master October 2013
    Laudie ·

    I think option 2 sounds better but the decision really is up to you

  • Celia Milton
    October 2019
    Celia Milton ·

    Option 2. IMHO, rehearsals have gotten out of control. It really just needs to be your bridal party, spouses, family and you.

  • J&B
    Master September 2013
    J&B ·

    Go for the booze.

  • Future_Lobos
    VIP September 2013
    Future_Lobos ·

    Option 2. They don't have to pay for anything so if you want the alcohol at the wedding, take what they're offering

  • Forever (a) Young
    Expert September 2012
    Forever (a) Young ·

    I dunno... I mean, what I'm seeing there is favoritism, and that's not right. How hurt will your out-of-town guests be to not be invited, when those on his side are? It really would be better to just invite no out-of-town guests at all (it's totally not required).

  • Alysa
    VIP April 2014
    Alysa ·

    If they gave you the 2 options, I would go with the second one. My FMIL and FFIL (they are divorced) are going to be paying for our rehearsal dinner. FMIL insists that they will pool together and pay for that for us because they want to help in some way. They are both from out of town, and most of FH's family is, so I assume they will invite all the OOT guests. I would rather not have a big rehearsal dinner, but since they are paying I am doing what they want. And I would never ask for a different option, but if they presented me with one similar to yours (small rehearsal and paying toward something else for the wedding) I would gladly take it. The rehearsal dinner just isn't a big deal to me.

  • *Mrs_D*
    Master October 2014
    *Mrs_D* ·

    I say #2. I also think that you should save a little bit and, even if no one helps you out, get your guests some booze. Your parents are buying you your food and venue, which are your two biggest expenses... you should save up and give your guests that

  • Rachel
    Dedicated September 2013
    Rachel ·

    I say 2. Almost all of my guests are from out of town so inviting all of them will be like a second wedding. I have one friend who is flying in from Australia, she is the only person not involved in the wedding invited.

  • May
    VIP October 2013
    May ·

    #2. We're only having two OOT guests at our rehearsal that aren't family or in the bridal party.

  • Renee2014
    Super April 2014
    Renee2014 ·

    I have to say option 2. Our guests will also all be OOT. If we had that many ppl at the rehearsal it would be a second wedding!

  • er.jhj2014
    VIP August 2014
    er.jhj2014 ·

    Option number 2!

  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2013
    Amanda ·

    Look at it like this.

    Rehearsal is for the wedding party and parents

    Why are out of town guest coming??

    If people want to drink at your wedding thats what a bar is. Have them buy their own drinks.

    I get married in two weeks and me and my FH are pretty much paying for the whole thing ourselves. My mom bought my dress and favors and my mom to be is paying for the backyard bbq rehearsal for the wedding party. I am only supplying wine at the dinner everything else is a cash bar.

    So if I had a choice out of your two its option 2

    But I'm cheap so I'd make them pay for there own drinks lol

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