Question

Btw 3 year engagement. Well.... two year 2020 is almost done with

You've got 2 years, there's no need to rush.

I'm going to be a little harsh here, and ask why a nearly 30 year old man is with a teenager?

Age gaps aren't a problem at a certain point, but your age gap - and the fact that you are already engaged, raises some red flags for me. (I have a history with this, and a very Evil Ex.)

At this point, I would sit back, work on the relationship, think about what you want out of marriage, life, and a wedding. You have plenty of time to plan - or call off - if need be.

View Quoted Comment Yea you are right with the age but he 27. Age is nothing but a number. But when you love someone it a whole different thing. There are people my age that are engaged. Me I don’t care about what people think or say because that there own opinions how they see it and I’m fine hearing other people opinion. But all it matters is the couple happy together.

View Quoted Comment And what is the red flag? If you don’t mind asking.

View Quoted Comment Red flags?? But communicate is the key to not have a red flag or get one.

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You are 19, now, correct?

You have been engaged for a year? So, you got engaged at 18. Just as you became a legal adult. That means he was 26 when he proposed.

How long were you dating before that?

Were you dating before you turned 18?

A man over 21 dating someone under 18... I'm sorry, but given my personal history, I find this alarming. To be very blunt, that man is a predator (it would be illegal in my state), and says that women his age (out of school, living on their own) won't date him.

I'm not saying 19 is too young to marry. I'm saying a 27 year old man who is interested in someone just out of high school is ... not someone I would trust with someone just out of high school.

For the record, my husband is younger than me, by 6 years.

But we met after he had been out of college for a year, and we did not get married until he was 29.

View Quoted Comment All the questions is correct. I was in 18 in school already. What state you from? I’m from California.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your opinion. I see where you coming for but you see it in a different way because like you said your state don’t allowed girls to be engaged with someone older if they under 18 or 18. I’m engaged now in 23 I’ll be in my 20s my state laws is different from yours. But I do hear you out. Every one is going to have a different opinion to my post that fine with me but at the end of the day I HAPPY TO BE ENGAGED AND BECOME SOMEONE WIFE.

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I'm in NJ and we have similar laws.

Becoming someone's wife isn't just about getting the title of "wife". It's about committing to that one person, because they are that one person you can't be without.

There is a huge difference between being 18 and 25. There is massive growth that happens, and it's mostly learning about yourself.

The difference in myself from 17 to 19 wasn't even remotely close to the difference in myself from 19 to 21. And 29 year old me, that met DH?

She'd been through absolute hell and back. And she was a very different human being.

I'm glad you're happy, but are you happy to be getting married to your fiance? Or just happy to have a wedding?

View Quoted Comment And what are you trying to say it not right to be engaged with someone older? At the age of 19?

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Honestly, yes.

Honey, any man over 21 who is happy to date someone under 18... and then propose when she's finally 18... is not a man I'd trust around *anyone*.

I know of what I speak.

I do not look my age. I look massively younger.

A man my own age took advantage of this to abuse me *and others younger than me*. He ended up in prison.

For a reason.

I'm saying, why are you happy to be *someone's* wife, not specifically your fiance?
I'm asking, why was a 24 year old dating a 17 year old? (Again, that is illegal in most states. For a reason.)

I'm asking, are you SURE you want him, or do you want a wedding?

Age gaps get less important as you get older. But there's a reason we say "less important" - because, at a certain point, they are *very* important.

I have several cousins your age. They are not ready for marriage, and any man over 24 who tried to date them would meet the business end of my stage combat weapons (they don't have to be sharp to leave a good bruise).

Your post made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. They still are on end. I'm not sure I'll sleep tonight, I am so worried about you.

View Quoted Comment I got engaged at 19

I know what I want. Also my family is happy for me and ok with it because I was 19 when he proposes to be I was 18 when we was together.

View Quoted Comment Don’t be worried about me. It just you see it in a different way. But it people my age in engage at 19 and the age difference I don’t see anything wrong with it.

I ain't gonna pry about the age gap, but I still think you have a bad habit of wanting to plan so far in advance.


Your wedding is in 2023, and I think one of the biggest mistakes you could possibly make is planning something so far in advance that it could possibly negatively effect you, such as having a vendor going out of buisiness.
Again, to me, it seems like your itching to start the wedding planning process, but you have so much time, I would just sit back, relax, and make vision boards on Pinterest.
Again, like I said on one of your earlier posts, if you really want to plan something, plan your engagement shoot with your fiancee. Choose a photographer, choose the location, and choose the outfits. Literally the best decision I ever made.

View Quoted Comment Ok thank you for you opinion but I already have a engagement photos. Have a blessed day.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. She is planning way too soon. Also, based on some of her comments it sounds like she's more excited about a wedding than actually marrying her fiance. As for the age gap, when did you start dating? If you were under 18 at the time, then in most states the age gap would actually be illegal and your fiance would be considered a pedophile.

View Quoted Comment I happy marrying my finance. I was 18. Is there anyway I can take this most down there are a lot of unnecessary negativity comments and judgement about me and my relationship. And on how I’m not happy being with someone but all about the wedding lol 😂 never. I’m happy with my partner