Brittany
Master April 2019

Poll: Writing personal vows?

Brittany, on March 27, 2019 at 1:38 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 23
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I feel like I go back and forth on this with regularity, but now it's time to make a final decision and tell my officiant what we're choosing to do.

So I want to know: did you write your own personal vows, or just use "stock" vows, and why did you choose what you did?

23 Comments

  • Mrs. C
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. C ·
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    I told my fiance from the very beginning that while I like the idea of personal vows I knew that being an emotional person, I would not be able to get through reading them without bawling my eyes out. So he ended up actually writing his own vows anyways and memorizing them for when he proposed to me so that I could still hear them. I loved that idea and it took the pressure off of me reading my personal vows in front of everyone else. We are a more private couple as well and I will be writing a wedding day letter for him but it will not be read out loud. It will be for his eyes only. I think there is just something so personal about what you are trying to say to your spouse and for me I wanted that to be shared with him alone and not with hundreds of other people watching and listening. If you are concerned about emotions or nerves on the big day, for me adding personal vows to an already stressful and emotional day just stressed me out even more which is why we ended up not doing it. Its ultimately a very personal choice. Smiley smile

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  • Katie
    Super June 2019
    Katie ·
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    We're getting married in a catholic church. Our priest told us we aren't allowed to write our own vows, so our decision was made for us. I like the traditional vows so I was fine with it, and it made it one less thing that I have to worry about doing. If you don't feel strongly about writing them I would say to just go with the traditional pre-written ones.
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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    We decided we do not want the pressure of writing our own vows and neither of us likes speaking in front of crowds, so we are going with the traditional ones our Pastor provides.

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  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I initially wanted to, because I like how they're so unique to the couple. I'm very confident in my writing capabilities, but FH isn't, and also wasn't crazy about the idea of reading them in front of people. He knew I wanted to do personal ones, so he agreed to make me happy, but now I'm not so sure anymore. I really don't want him to feel uncomfortable in any capacity on our wedding day. We are planning on writing each other notes for the day of, to be read before the ceremony (probably in front of our videographer), and I'm thinking that might be enough "personal" for us.

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  • Deirdre
    Super March 2018
    Deirdre ·
    • Flag
    We did our own vows and it was my favorite part of the ceremony. We wanted to speak from the heart as opposed to saying something written by others. Our own vows was a must for us. Definitely write them down and have them with you as it gets emotional, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
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  • Rachel
    Super July 2019
    Rachel ·
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    We’ve both known we wanted to write our own vows even before we go engaged. We both have rough drafts done and we’re keeping them a surprise until the ceremony! We say sweet things to each other all the time and this is the one time everyone else we love and care about will hear about our love and commitment to each other!
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  • Angerra
    VIP August 2019
    Angerra ·
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    We're going to write our own vows. Neither of us are against doing so.
    Our ceremony is already pretty simple so our vows will be the most personal part about it. I'm excited to hear with my fiance comes up with. Smiley laugh
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  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I'm leaning towards this right now. In addition to the pressure, I am also super short on spare time right now and I'm not even sure I could crank out quality vows at this point without rushing it. The last thing I'd want them to be is half hearted.

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  • Darcy
    Dedicated May 2019
    Darcy ·
    • Flag
    When we had a court house marriage and we required to repeat the vows from the officiant. For our ceremony in the wedding celebration with friends and family we are writing our own vows. It gives us a way to do things our own way since we’re already legally married. It’s the part I’m most excited about the ceremony!
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  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    Our officiant does offer about six different variations of traditional vows, and FH and I have agreed on one we like the best. They're sweet and personal enough without me having to sit down and do them myself. So I'm sort of sold. "One less thing" is a godsend right now. 23 days out and my head is spinning.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Writing our own! It just makes your ceremony so much more personal, I think. Honestly my favorite part of weddings is hearing the couple’s self-written vows... it’s always so sweet to hear what they have to say to/about each other
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  • Mrs. C
    Super May 2019
    Mrs. C ·
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    Honestly I would agree with not doing it especially if your FH isn't 100% sold. It will definitely relieve the stress of him not being as confident in his ability to write and your stress as well in having to read them in front of all of those people.

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  • Katie
    Super June 2019
    Katie ·
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    So close! Good luck!
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  • Future Mrs. Polar Bear
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    We are doing stock vows because I'm Pagan, he isn't religious, neither of us our romantic, and our ceremony will be like 10-15 minutes, tops! Just not our thing.

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag

    We weren't planning to but our officiant suggested it. We wrote each of ours on the couch and then read them to each other. Sweet moment (but even better when we said them during the ceremony!). I think we decided on about 2-3 sentences each to keep the vows short & sweet.

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  • Alicia
    VIP August 2019
    Alicia ·
    • Flag

    We're going to write our personal vows in letters to each other to read on our wedding day, and do traditional vows in the ceremony. We're both not great at speaking in front of people, and we're pretty private people in general, so this seemed like the best way to share our personal thoughts about our wedding with each other, but still keep it just between the two of us. I have 2 sets of friends that did this and said they wouldn't have wanted it any other way, so that solidified our choice.

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  • Jazmin
    Super April 2019
    Jazmin ·
    • Flag

    Personalized vows are my favorite part of the wedding ceremony. I always cry while watching wedding videos over the vows. So we knew that was our way to go.

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  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    I agree with the sentiment of self-written vows very much. I wish my FH was more comfortable with it. I had quite a few ideas of what I wanted to say! Smiley winking

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  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
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    This is a really great, best-of-both-worlds idea! Thank you!

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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    I'm writing my own vows. Although there are other pre written samples, they're not my words, therefore, I wouldn't want to use someone else's. Not saying there's anything wrong with it but just for me, if it's going to be personal, I would want him to know from my own heart.

    I already started writing my vows and I'm super excited!! I'm super emotional so I'm pretty sure I'm going to cry but i'll stick it out for him Smiley catface I'm not sure if he's going to write his own or not but we haven't really talked about it. I guess it wouldn't bother me if he didn't. He's not really good with words.

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