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Just Said Yes June 2020

Planning my dream wedding...and then my mom got sick

Bride2Be2020, on November 19, 2019 at 1:23 AM Posted in Planning 0 5

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Hi All:

I got engaged earlier this year and we are currently planning a destination wedding for next June. Unfortunately, our excitement was recently halted as my mom was just diagnosed with cancer. While her cancer is treatable, it is not curable, and we are all unsure of what the next 7 months leading up to the wedding will look like for her health.
My mom insists that we should move forward with the wedding (she believes that she’ll be able to attend). While I’m hopeful and optimistic, I also have to be realistic in that we are dealing with the unknown. There is also the added layer that we have already started paying and guests have booked (non-refundable) trips as well. I don’t know if I should continue planning and hope that everything works out or deal with the fact that she may not be able to attend. Should I postpone the wedding? Try to have a local ceremony and possibly lose the funds we’ve already invested in the destination wedding?
I know this is a lot to vent in an online forum, I just can’t bring myself to say any of this out loud to family and friends yet ☹️

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Sexypoodle, on November 19, 2019 at 4:54 PM

VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on November 19, 2019 at 1:47 AM
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I am soooo soooo sorry that you and your family are going through this. Prayers to your mom- and you.

I would follow her wishes. Go forward with the wedding as planned. Especially since others have booked, and you’ve paid deposits.
However, I WOULD have a mommy-daughter day and get hair/makeup/nails done and into your wedding gown to have professional pictures done. Just in case she is unable to attend. I’ve known friends who did this with their grandparent/s and are very happy they did....
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on November 19, 2019 at 3:18 AM
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Im so very sorry to hear about your mom. That’s not easy. However, I would continue with the wedding for a few reasons....
1.) your mom wants you to move forward with the plans and I’m sure it gives her joy.
2.) life shouldn’t stop when hurdles arise. To me that’s like giving in to the negative instead of enjoying life and remaining positive 3.) situations like this remind you how precious life is.... so live it!

I had a good friend of 38 years pass away from pancreatic cancer this February (we met in kindergarten at age 5). It’s the hardest thing I’ve dealt with thus far. I’m heartbroken that she won’t be at our wedding. But she was around for the engagement and was very happy for me. It’s still hard for me some days and I feel guilty about being happy and planning for a future. But the sadness doesn’t last for long because I KNOW she’s so happy and would be upset if I put my life on pause instead of living in joy.
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Super March 2020
Jennifer · on November 19, 2019 at 7:40 AM
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I would get married. Maybe have a videographer come and capture the moments for her in case she can't make it. Show her the wedding at a later date. Something I noticed when my uncle had terminal brain cancer is..he wanted everyone to keep living because we don't know what tomorrow brings. And lers be honest, life is always tossing obstacles at us!
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Just Said Yes June 2020
Bride2Be2020 · on November 19, 2019 at 3:42 PM
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Thank you! I appreciate your advice and sorry to hear about your friend. We are going to move forward. I know it’s the best decision, and you’re right, life shouldn’t stop when hurdles arise.
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