Jean
Super October 2012

Paying for a wedding...

Jean, on December 10, 2011 at 5:58 PM Posted in Planning 0 54
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Hi everyone Smiley smile Im new to this forum..anywho, we have set a date for 10/19/2012 (yay!!) and unfortunately, my Dad wont help us out at all with finances...how is everyone finacing their wedding?? Thinking of taking out a personal loan, or just charging everything on credit Smiley smile

54 Comments

  • S
    Dedicated October 2012
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    My FH and I both have been saving for a while, since we are in the same boat. I wouldn't recommend the loan or the credit card. Just seems like a bad way to start off your marriage.

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  • Brittney
    Expert November 2011
    Brittney ·
    • Flag

    I would not do a loan or putting everything on credit cards. It's better to wait and save then starting off your marriage with wedding debt. My DH and I saved for a short while and just paid for everything in cash.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. S™
    Master October 2011
    Mrs. S™ ·
    • Flag

    Hi Jean, congrats and welcome!

    There's a third option: saving.

    • Reply
  • Jen P.
    Master January 2012
    Jen P. ·
    • Flag

    We just estimated what we could afford to save per month until the wedding and set our budget at that. It's actually a little less than we could ACTUALLY afford so there can be room for error if need be, but for now I'm working to keep below the budget. The one and only thing I put on credit was my dress which I've included in our budget where as everything else is just savings from each paycheck. We aren't getting financial support from anyone, but we do have a lot of people offering to help out in other areas <3

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
    • Flag

    Most of us here paid for our weddings ourselves. Definitely don't use credit (loan or credit cards) for it! You don't want to start your marriage in debt for a one-day party. Figure out what you can save each paycheck over the course of your engagement, and don't exceed that budget for your wedding. You can always keep the cost down by inviting fewer people, and/or having the reception at a nonmeal time and serving cake and punch.

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  • CKJL5410
    Master May 2012
    CKJL5410 ·
    • Flag

    I sense some trouble... Everyone on this site has strong feelings about not taking out a loan or going into debt for a wedding, and they are not afraid to express their thoughts about it. You should save and have the wedding you can afford when the time comes. Just a warning. Be prepared for some rough comments on this one. Smiley smile

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  • Kayla
    Super July 2012
    Kayla ·
    • Flag

    My FH family is helping as far as the bar lol and that's it but other than that we have put back and this years income tax will cover some of it!!

    Also you can do a lot of DIY projects, I know doing our own wedding favors and centerpieces n bouquets etc. That should cut a lot of cost down Smiley smile

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  • Brittney
    Expert November 2011
    Brittney ·
    • Flag

    Another good thing is that your wedding is going to be on a Friday (my birthday) and you can usually get some cheaper rates for venues, transportation, etc. for having a Friday wedding verses one on a Saturday - our wedding was on a Friday also. That will help out a lot.

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  • JohnAmanda2012
    Devoted March 2012
    JohnAmanda2012 ·
    • Flag

    Ok so long story short my parents said they would give us some money and FH's parents said they would pay for specific things so we budgeted everything out and got a personal loan to pay for the big things and we spent out of pocket on majority of things

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  • Jean
    Super October 2012
    Jean ·
    • Flag

    Thank you everyone for your advice Smiley smile The next year is going to be tight with saving and such...if only weddings were cheap!! Even a cheap wedding is expensive Smiley winking

    • Reply
  • Pan
    Master March 2012
    Pan ·
    • Flag

    Jean you are in the wrong forum to be asking this question in that particular way, but anywho welcome to Weddingwire, and congratulations on the engagement!

    Mrs. S is right. You should be able to save and pay for your own wedding if you really think you are ready to get married. Loans are terrible ideas for paying for a wedding. If you take a loan out for anything it should be for a house, condo, car, school but a wedding loan is a little short sighted and frivolous for most cases. Modern weddings are mostly paid for by the couple. The old etiquette of the bride's parents paying for the wedding is outdated.

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  • Miss Tattoo
    VIP September 2012
    Miss Tattoo ·
    • Flag

    Weddings can be inexpensive.

    2000dollarwedding.com is a great place to start. Ground yourself and realize that you don't need $50k to have a wedding.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    November 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Taking out a loan or putting it all on a charge card are terrible ways to start your married life. Do you really want to be paying for your limo for 5 years at 18%? For a real wake up call, have some math smart person figure out how much your wedding will ACTUALLY cost you if you pay it off over 10 years. Yikes.

    Weddings can be cheap; you just have to adjust your expectations.

    • Reply
  • Marianne
    Devoted June 2012
    Marianne ·
    • Flag

    Like everyone else, I recommend you save what you can and base your budget on that. My FH and I could have had our wedding paid for by my parents, but then we'd have to do everything on their terms since they were writing the checks. We decided it was our day, and we wanted to make the decisions so that meant we had to pay for it. This economy stinks and everyone is struggling. We both work second jobs. We cut our cable (yup, we have NO TV), stopped eating out and buying anything we don't NEED. All "fun" things are on hold until we can pay for the wedding. It's hard making sacrifices but we're almost 100% debt free and I don't ever want to be back in that place again. there are so many times we have to tell our friends "no" when we'd love to be having fun, but the reality is we will be in a much better place not going into debt for our wedding.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Hainsworth
    VIP November 2011
    Mrs. Hainsworth ·
    • Flag

    DO NOT start out with debt. If your dad won't help, save save save and have your perfect wedding when you can afford the whole thing, instead of either settling for a half version of your day, or going into debt. My whole wedding was about $6,000 plus a few things from his mother so about $10,000 in total, and I spent about two years searching and finding what I wanted for the best prices possible. It took hard work, and it still came out to more than we wanted. My family all helped, so it was very nice for us. What happens if you lose your jobs and are in debt? The first year of marriage is supposed to be the most difficult because you're going through a lot of changes, and learning how to just be together not planning for a wedding. You don't want to add to that with debt.

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  • Anonymous
    VIP October 2012
    Anonymous ·
    • Flag

    I agree with everyone who is saying not to start out a marriage in debt! That is not an ideal way to start off a marriage. If you have to change your date so you can save up the money for your wedding. In addition, don't count on others paying for your wedding unless THEY OFFER! If you ask, it's kind of rude..

    • Reply
  • Puffins
    Master November 2012
    Puffins ·
    • Flag

    We aren't getting much help (just 1/2 of the venue, because it's doubling for their accommodations for the weekend) and are saving up. Yes, it's tight but it's worth it. We chose 3 priorities that will have 90% of our budget and are cutting out things we can't afford (remaining 10% goes to finding an inexpensive dress, not decorating beyond tablecloths and $5/table in decor) and we're cutting our guest list down a lot.

    • Reply
  • christina
    Beginner March 2012
    christina ·
    • Flag

    Well I agree the loan might seem like the easier route, but you have a little bit of time, Try and save as much as you can starting now and then decide what to do from there. We are getting married March 31, 2012, we put back a little bit and going to use income tax for the rest. Good Luck!

    • Reply
  • Cyndi K
    Master August 2012
    Cyndi K ·
    • Flag

    Push back the date if you have to. We had a two year engagement so we'd have enough time to save since I'm a stay at home mom and we live on my FH's income only. Or you could have a small simple wedding.

    • Reply
  • Jean
    Super October 2012
    Jean ·
    • Flag

    Its nice to know that we are not alone when it comes to saving for a wedding. We have cut a lot of cost so far by having it on a Friday (Brittney F happy early birthday;and yes Friday is a huge savings Smiley smile!!) The site fee for both the ceremony site and reception is costing us $500.00, but that includes all of our linens,set-up/break down and a day of coordinator. My best friend and MOH just got married a year ago, and she is giving me all of her centerpieces; and a very dear friend of mine who took a photography class has offered to do our wedding photos. I have already purchased my wedding gown, so basically all thats left is paying for the reception, dj, flowers, and cake...

    Has anyone thought of using silk flowers instead of the real deal?? They are way cheaper and look just as nice...I hate to spend a ton of money on flowers that are just going to get thrown out at the end of the night anyways Smiley smile

    Again thank you all so much for your advice and help...I really, appreciate it

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