Open bar... the norm?!

I grew up in MA, live in NH now. As far as I know all the weddings I have been to have been cash. I usually don't go up to the bar, my FI does but most of them have been cash as far as I know. All of our guests, including friends, have been to cash bars. We originally wanted to have an open bar but we don't think we can afford it with our list and we can't cut any more guests. Luckily our venue takes cards as well as cash.

View Quoted Comment I’m from SW PA too but live in DC, and I’ve never in my adult life been to a wedding with a cash bar. I guess the way I see it is that I wouldn’t put a cash box in my house when I host a party, so I don’t see why I should at my wedding.

I think it may have to do with what area of the United States you live in and also your family. Open bars are the norm here on the east coast, but I also know that it's necessary for my family. We would have been frowned upon if we went for a cash bar. My uncle did a cash bar at his engagement party and that was ALL anyone talked about. But if a cash bar is the norm where you are from, and/or that is what you are okay with socially or financially or whatever then you do you

I have only ever attended one wedding without an open bar as an adult, and that was a dry wedding. My brother and his wife decided against the expense. As such, my family and I provided our own. It is not necessary to have an open bar, or even a wet wedding at all, but guests who drink will certainly appreciate an open bar. Happy planning!

I'm from the East Coast and I've only been to one or two weddings without an open bar.

I'm in the south and open bars are a must. I've never been to a wedding where the guests had to pay. It's always been free and that's how our wedding will be.

Our venue charges on a per person basis because they include the open bar. (We're in Pennsylvania at one of our local volunteer fire departments.) They charge one rate for pop, one for wine and beer, and one for a full bar. We're going with the second option because that means liquor is a cash bar and honestly, wine and beer is more than enough.

I think I've only been at one cash bar wedding to be honest, and most of my family was completely confounded. Maybe it is an east coast thing???

We are having a keg, ( which my future in-laws are graciously paying for) and then a cash bar. We honestly wouldn't be able to afford an open bar anyway, and most of the weddings I've been to have a cash bar and a few kegs. We are having a small wedding, so I guess it depends on your budget and what you can afford. If you can't afford an open bar, don't go into debt to have one. At least that's my personal opinion.

My FH and I aren't big drinkers anyway, so the keg is mostly for his family and friends. I probably won't be drinking anyway. We will also have champagne, but that's for the speeches and toasts.

I too live in the Midwest/bible belt. I have been to A LOT of dry weddings, one open bar (ironically at the same location we are looking at having our reception and the couple was judged by the majority of the uppity guests for wasting their money on booze) one cash bar (boozers not in my family that were quit cheep) and a few BYOB weddings. It really is about your social circle.

To those saying its about social economic standing, without going into to much detail, I can say that at least in my case that is not the case. The few weddings I have gone to with any alcohol have always been for those with less financial standing.

All that said I can agree times are changing and all though I do not think my guests will be expecting libations of the alcohol variety, we are looking now at our best bar option.

Oh and I also went to one wedding with drink tickets that had the most outrageous (and expensive reception I have ever seen)

Where I'm from, the people are very understanding that the bride and groom are already spending a significant amount of money on their wedding day so it is not expected that there be an open bar. I've been in numerous weddings and have attended even more and the ONLY time I have ever seen an open bar is when one of the parents of the bride/groom choose to pay for it. I think it is you and your fiance's day so you do what you are comfortable with and what you can afford.

I’m from NY and open bar is a must!

On WW, open bar is the norm and I've been told on here that it's completely rude to have a cash bar. But I'm also from the Midwest and can't recall an open bar wedding and I've been to a lot of weddings. My wedding will not be open bar for a couple of reasons: we want to save money, and we want people to be conscious of how much they are drinking.

I'm from Southern Wisconsin and of the weddings I've been to, at least a modified open bar (beer, wine), has been provided for most of them. As a guest who hasn't known what to expect, it was nice to know that I could at least get soda and maybe a glass of wine. And from what I've been told, those hosting those weddings wanted to do more than a modified.

We're hoping to do a consumption bar, mostly because of how the pricing breakdowns work on our venue. It would be cheaper and easier to do it this way.

I feel like a lot of people except an open bar. A friend of mine had her wedding last weekend. She had a dry wedding due to some family, but that is the first I have heard of that. I’m sure people still kept there beer in their car and would go back and forth. But honestly it is all how you feel and what you think would make your guest feel comfortable

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I grew up in central MA and lakes region NH, and went to school in upstate NY. I have never in my life heard of a cash bar at a wedding until I came here. Every wedding I've been to is an open bar.

I live in PA and open bar is the norm. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have it.

You are inviting people to your party. You pay for your guests! We live on the east coast but have been to weddings around the country, every single wedding is open bar. Honestly, you have to remember these people are your guests...would you expect them to buy their own food at your party?? Cash bars = tacky. If you have to charge your guests have a more affordable wedding.

A good host cares about their guests and a good guest appreciates what a host offers. No one expects caviar at every wedding and decides a host is rude for not offering it - the same goes for Johnny Walker black or blue.


I don't look to wedding bar finding to prove that I'm cared for by the bride and groom.

I've lived around the country in various places but I've only ever been to one wedding that was open bar personally, and that was a VERY expensive, upper-crusty wedding in the Boston area.

I always plan on bringing cash when invited to a wedding unless I'm advised beforehand that it's an open bar, and even then I still bring cash for tips.

We are still debating what we will be able to afford. We'd like to provide free beer/wine up to whatever we can afford in the beginning, then cash bar afterwards, but it will depend on the final RSVP #s and the food option we choose with the venue.

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Any venue that serves guests alcohol without carding is opening themselves up to liability and I would be hesitant to trust them, personally.

And any responsible adult expecting to be served alcohol should have an ID on them for that purpose, just in case. I can't imagine expecting to be served alcohol by a catering company or venue and not expecting to be carded at least once for legality's sake. I might hope for it if I did manage to forget my ID for whatever reason, LOL. But I wouldn't expect to get away with ordering alcohol and I wouldn't be mad if they (rightly) refused to serve me alcohol without age verification.