Not all men at all. My FH wants a wedding. He may not care about every single aspect of our day, but he's excited and wanted very much to help plan the parts of it he "gets" like venue, food, music, guest list, etc. The little stuff escapes him, like flowers and decor. Otherwise he's stoked.
My FH is definitely “over it” . I think it’s more the hoopla over the day that some guys aren’t into, At the end of the day, I think most men just want us girls to be happy and they go along with whatever we want and most women are totally into the wedding day at least to some degree.
My DH is the reason that we didn't just say "fuck it" and elope lol. Sometimes it was tough to get opinions from him on certain things because he had no preference, like on centerpieces and other decor. Is that your issue?
It's okay, my FH is the same way. He tells me all the time I just wanna marry you, I don't care where, when, or if we have chicken or beef. Lol but then he'll hear a song on the radio and say I like this for our 1st dance lol or I'll show him a venue and he'll say not there, or I'll ask him which soup would you prefer a or b and he says b. It's not that he doesn't want a wedding it's just that he knows even less about planning than you do and he gets just as overwhelmed but twice as fast as you do, so just give him simple options ask him straight forward questions he can say yes or no to...ask him if he has colors he absolutely does not want and if he says purple don't respond with well what about plum cause all he's gonna think is that's purple too...the most important thing for him is he gets to marry the girl of his dreams and honestly even if that's all he makes a decision about for the wedding, isn't that enough?
It sounds like he does want to marry you - he is just being realistic about the budget. If you two are paying for your own wedding you should probably sit down and talk about what you want to spend. the big wedding you want might not be one you can afford.