So I have tried to hold off on posing about this, but I wonder if anyone has gone through something similar.
For some time I've had a testy relationship with my mom. We are ok, and I love her more than anything, but I'm torn between wanting her support and approval during the wedding planning process, and not wanting her involved- at all!
Background: My parents went (are going through) a very nasty divorce, and theres a lot of bad blood. Unfortunately my mom gets too tied up in the idea of seeing my father (or his large Italian family) and uses this as her reason for why I shouldn't have a big wedding, or a wedding at all... 2 weeks ago I received a message from her- out of nowhere- reading:
"Jules, I love you more than anything, but I think your wedding should be put off. I cannot give you what I want for you and I do not want a bad day for you guys. I am going through an awful lot....Please defer it. You guys can get married by a justice of the peace tomorrow we can deal with the rest later. I cannot help you with wedding right now and I love you. But it is very bad timing considering the circumstances..."
This went back and forth between her and I. Essentially, I am sympathetic to her situation (and I was clear to tell her this), but deposits have been made, and the planning is in process. There's no going back now. I tried to explain to her that as much as I would like for her to be a part of things, I will understand if she doesn't want to take part in this day. And unfortunately, this will help to avoid a lot more drama down the road.
Sorry for the story, but I will take any advice anyone can share. My mindset at this point is, I'm cordial with her, but have no intentions to include her on anything moving forward. It just makes me very sad.