Jasmine
VIP August 2020

Lost All Will to Plan

Jasmine, on March 7, 2019 at 8:46 PM Posted in Planning 0 45
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Rant:

My fiance and I have gone through a few color schemes, locations and budget options. We have finally made a decision to get married in Hawaii. I started looking at beaches and after all this research we talked about having it on a black sand beach.

Found this gorgeous beach and found out only 10 guests are allowed. It bummed us out BUT we decided that we will make it immediate family. Feeling good about moving forward, we discovered afterward (nothing's been paid yet) that it's A ONE HOUR HIKE just to get the ceremonial spot of the beach.

I personally don't care and as of right now, I don't know if my fiance cares about doing it but either way, it hurts my heart to know that we can no longer do it because of the situations both our mothers are in and we doubt they can handle that.

If it was anyone else that couldn't make the walk, it would have been whatever but being that it's a parent, there's no way we could just dismiss them and say too bad. I seriously can't stop thinking about this beach and I seriously just lost all will to continue planning for the moment. It's not like I don't have the time but this is going to seriously SUCK!

End rant...

45 Comments

  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·

    it stinks to have to keep starting over. I get your frustration.

    I'm going to go off on my own rant here so just bear with me for a sec. We are in the process of buying a house. We put offers in on two, and both times, we were beat out by all cash offers. I was really bummed (I get way too emotionally invested in these houses!) and at one point said I was done looking and done trying because nothing I liked was working out. I felt so defeated and unmotivated. But just this past week, we saw a house, saw it again, put an offer in, they countered, we accepted, and now we are in attorney review. And you know what? I'm glad the other times didn't work out because I know this one is ours.

    All of this to say, what is meant for you will find you when the time is right. I know that probably sounds stupid and cliche but everything will fall into place, I promise. There is something out there for you, and when you find it, you will realize it is perfect for you.

  • Jazmin
    Rockstar April 2019
    Jazmin ·

    Oh I'm so sorry. I remember when my husband and I started planning we wanted to get married at this famous restaurant in Punta Cana. Unfortunately, it was way out of our budget and I thought we wouldn't find a better place. But we were able to find a breathtaking location, closer to our guests and cheaper for us.

    Don't get discouraged. You'll have your dream wedding, just keeping looking.

  • Zoola85
    Dedicated May 2019
    Zoola85 ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Amen! Thanks for your post!❤️ I am not the topic starter but I think it helps to hear stories like that
  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks! And congratulations!! That's literally how I felt about my wedding dress. Kept looking and nothing stood out to me and I had no idea if or when I was going to find it and it finally happened. I just hope it really does happen as far as finding another place, beach or not.

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I appreciate it, thanks! I'm glad everything worked out for you. It just seems like all the bouncing back and forth happens in almost every aspect of my life and it's just frustrating. I'm taking a step back for now but once I start up again, hopefully things will be a bit better.

  • Danielle
    Dedicated September 2019
    Danielle ·
    Aw mannnn, I totally get this. I fell in love with a venue I couldn’t have too. When me and my fiancé talked it all out, we realized we could still have the most important elements we liked from the unattainable venue: beautiful forest scene, our loved ones raging it up, and just plain ol gettin hitched. My advice is to try to focus on what you really value about the wedding. Full validation that this moment sucks, but also, just a gentle nudge to look for the beauty in what you can still have. Best of luck!
  • Alycia
    Super July 2020
    Alycia ·

    Give yourself a little time to mourn the loss of that dream. In a couple of days, you'll start searching again and find new reasons to be excited. Besides, you've never actually seen that beach. It might not be all that great. Photos only show you the best angles.

    Take what you loved about this beach and type it in a google search with "wedding". (Ex: "black sand beach wedding" or "Hawaii beach wedding" etc.) Your venue is out there.

  • Lashell
    Dedicated May 2019
    Lashell ·
    Sorry about that maybe you can come up with something else that works for everyone. But don't rule it out totally maybe one day you can renew your vows on that beach.
  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks! We've just been hit left and right. Means a lot

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you!
    Yea I've been typing that in to try and find an alternative. You're right though. I'm definitely taking some time before I start my search back up. It seems if I can actually find another black sand beach (which happen to be on the opposite side of the island we PLANNED on staying on), we might just have to change where we plan on staying and find another place closer to that one. I haven't TRULY given up all hope but this one definitely hit me!


  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Yea, I'll definitely continue looking in a few days maybe. But you're right. That's always an option. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you!

  • Alycia
    Super July 2020
    Alycia ·
    Have you checked Hana on Maui? Taking “The Road to Hāna” would be a fun way for your family to begin your celebration. You can rent a place there to get changed for your ceremony.
  • LaLa
    Devoted October 2019
    LaLa ·

    We were going to do destination. We had to completely start over when the venues weren't working out. Venue was the hardest part for me, eventually I found one I love. If your mom's can't make the hike, I'm sure you will find another venue that is equally great! Keep searching!

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I actually haven't! I've been so focused on the Big Island, it didn't even dawn on me to check other islands. I'll definitely take a look! Thank you

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you! I really appreciate that! I will definitely keep looking and it was brought to my attention that I should open up a bit and check the other islands. I was so focused on the big one, maybe I'll find another similar on a different island. I guess we'll see what happens!

  • WeddingCruiser2019
    Devoted January 2019
    WeddingCruiser2019 ·

    Is it possible to get photos done at this beach even though you can't get married there? We had a similar situation where we wanted to get married at a specific spot but for timing reasons it didn't work out. We were able to get pictures there though which helped me not be as bummed anymore.

  • Alycia
    Super July 2020
    Alycia ·
    It’s an awesome road trip! No big hike to get to the beach once you’re there. Lots to do and see on the way. There are no hotels in Hāna. You’d rent a little house or two instead. There are places right on the black sand beach. It’s a very unspoiled area. Cool lava caves too!

    Lost All Will to Plan 1
  • Danielle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Danielle ·

    Awe, that sucks. Just take a break from planning, then come back with a clear mind and I'm sure y'all will be able to find another ceremony site that will fit your wedding style beautifully.

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    That's a good question. I'll have to look into it. I was going through an elopement company and it's the only black sand beach that they service so I would have to see if there's anyone else we could reach out to in order to make that happen. Thanks!

  • Jasmine
    VIP August 2020
    Jasmine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Oh my! Look at all that GREEEEEN That's great! Thank you so much! I'll look into it and see what happens!

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