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runsoncoffee
Dedicated June 2018

LGBTQ brides and grooms...how are you dealing with today?

runsoncoffee, on November 9, 2016 at 11:06 AM Posted in Planning 0 87
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Firstly, I sincerely hope I am not violating any community guidelines and this is NOT the place for any kind of political debate. My FW and I are heartbroken this morning and trying to figure out where to go from here. Do we elope? Should we fear for our future together? When we plan to marry in a year and a half will it still be legal? What about family planning? How will we get pregnant/adopt? We are very scared right now. Are there any other queer brides or grooms on here going through the same thing? Up until yesterday wedding planning has been the greatest joy and we have been filled with so much hope. I no longer want to look at venues, dresses, or honey moon destinations. It seems like a joke that we thought we could get married and have a life together just like everyone else. I hope we are wrong and simply overreacting. It is an emotional time. It would be nice to hear from others experiencing the same thoughts right now.

87 Comments

  • Kristin
    Master January 2034
    Kristin ·
    • Flag

    I have no advice but I do have love and positive vibes for you and your future spouse. Still look for stuff and hold your head up high. It takes a lot more than one jerk to turn over something like that! Stay beautiful

    • Reply
  • Paige
    VIP March 2017
    Paige ·
    • Flag

    I have nothing, other than to let you and your FW know that so many people, myself included, value and respect your choice to spend your life with the person you love. My heart goes out to you and even though I don't know you, I'm sending virtual hugs your way. Love has to win.

    ETA: words

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsG
    Super March 2019
    FutureMrsG ·
    • Flag

    I also have no advice to give but am most certainly putting good vibes out to you and your fw! Plan the most amazing wedding and stay positive!!

    • Reply
  • Linds
    Master March 2017
    Linds ·
    • Flag

    I am a firm believer that the best way we (the American people) can react right now is to live our lives in a supportive and loving way. Showing care, support, and compassion for each other, and each other's rights.

    I will continue to support the right to marry, the right to love, and the right to be happy.

    • Reply
  • The Trap Selena
    Master March 2016
    The Trap Selena ·
    • Flag

    Another person here with no real advice, because I can't even come close to understanding the fear you feel. Know that there are people out there who are angry for you and you won't be alone if you and other LGBTQ couples have to put up another fight.

    • Reply
  • Jeanmarie
    Super December 2017
    Jeanmarie ·
    • Flag

    I obviously mentioned this earlier but you know I'm in the same boat as you here. Since waking up this morning we've been discussing pushing our wedding date up. It scares me. If left up to the states I know Florida will not pull through for us. We already had a constitutional amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman that was voted on in 2008. Family planning too. We've been talking about having children through IUI. It's all just so much to think about it right now my heart/head is hurting. I know others will find it irrational, say I'm over reacting, that I'm whining, that I'm a baby, but I don't care. I want to believe that everything will be okay but it's that sinking feeling that everything you've worked so hard for won't matter.

    • Reply
  • KYbride
    Expert September 2016
    KYbride ·
    • Flag

    Like the others, I have no advice. But please know that you and your FW still have the support of so many people. Please do whatever you can to stay optimistic in the upcoming months. Love will ultimately win. Stay strong and don't be afraid to lean on others when you need to.

    • Reply
  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
    • Flag

    No advice but definitely sending you love and support and completely respect your rights and I'm angry that people like yourselves and many others have to even worry about this, it's horrifying

    • Reply
  • Jaimee
    Master October 2019
    Jaimee ·
    • Flag

    I am not in a same-sex relationship, but I self-identify as queer because I am attracted to men and women.

    I cannot offer advice as to what to do wedding-wise because I am bot in the same position as you are, but I can say that the best "plan of attack" would be to carry on.

    Take the time to mourn; this is a sad, sad day. However, you plan that wedding when you feel able to. You flaunt your happiness every chance you get. As much as I hate the use of this phrase on here, you keep doing you.

    Pay attention to your state politics. Fight against anything that treats you less than a human being because we are stronger than any sort of bullshit they can throw at us.

    We have been in these positions before. We still flourished then and we will flourish now. We will not let then take anything away from us without a fight.

    I am so sorry, dear. It's already been said, but keep your head up. Take a day to be sad, take two, take as much time as you need; but when the time comes, and you're ready to carry on, don't let anyone stop you.

    • Reply
  • Mkkr0624
    Dedicated June 2017
    Mkkr0624 ·
    • Flag

    No advice. I'll never understand how difficult this must be for you, being both from LGBQT community and being women, this has to hit you both so hard. Sending good vibes and good luck to you and all other couples dealing with this. Remember you aren't alone. And so many of us are fighting for you. Good luck. I wish you both the best.

    • Reply
  • TAP
    Master September 2018
    TAP ·
    • Flag

    No advice, but good luck to you and your FW! This is a sad time and I wish you both the very best outcome.

    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Devoted June 2017
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    Same boat over here. We are both scared and shocked. I swear if I'm not able to marry my FW. I will not be a quiet woman.

    • Reply
  • DestinationBride
    Super December 2016
    DestinationBride ·
    • Flag

    So much love for you and not a lot of advice. *hugs* if you want them and a promise to not stop fighting for you and your FW.

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy April 2020
    Larinda ·
    • Flag

    Keep looking for stuff and look into handfasting if all else fails

    • Reply
  • chaos05
    Super October 2017
    chaos05 ·
    • Flag

    We have mentioned changing date or getting married soon and having the wedding still. It's so frustrating that we have no idea how things are going to go down.

    • Reply
  • Baletica
    Master June 2017
    Baletica ·
    • Flag

    I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm hoping that I haven't done all this planning just to have my rights snatched away when he takes office. All I can do is cry and hope that he leaves it alone

    • Reply
  • FinallyFreeberg
    Expert August 2017
    FinallyFreeberg ·
    • Flag

    I cannot fathom what you must be going thru. But I wish you nothing but happiness and positive vibes

    • Reply
  • Ann
    VIP November 2017
    Ann ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry I also can't give advice on this because for one I had no idea trump was against same sex marriage (I know where have I been...I hate politics) but for two I'm not in your shoes. However, what is the big deal with same sex marriage?! I mean who cares. If 2 people are happy & in love then it shouldn't be an issue what they're sex is. I really hope that he just leaves that law alone. There's other issues that needa be fixed.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Dedicated September 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I'll be honest here and I don't want to start anything bad! I did vote for trump but this is one of the huge huge huge problems I had with his policies. He just happened to align with other personal beliefs of mine. I pray to god that he doesn't turn around and make it illegal for LGBT people to get married and I'm sending all my love and thoughts to you and everyone else affected by this <3

    • Reply
  • Grechen
    Super August 2017
    Grechen ·
    • Flag

    I have no advice, but my best friend is gay and it was heartbreaking listening to his sadness today. I can't imagine the fear you are all feeling! Sending lots of love and positivity your way!!

    • Reply

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