Terra
Expert September 2020

Last Names Are Lame

Terra, on December 17, 2018 at 12:37 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 27
Saved Save
Reply

Ugh. I know I'm making this out to be more annoying than it needs to be, but this whole business of last names bugs me so I'm going to rant here a little.

Context: I have a very original, unique last name. I've never met anyone outside of my family who shares my last name. I'm also a "Terra" instead of a "Tara" so I've always sat pretty comfortably knowing my name is one of a kind. I like it, and I'm one of the last in my branch of the family tree who still has it.

I'm also an education major, I'll be a full-fledged teacher in a year and a half. I worked as a substitute before I started school and I've logged a fair amount of clinical hours, so I'm already used to kids calling me "Ms. B."

His last name is... Watson. Which, I mean, it's not Jones, but it's definitely not like my current last name. I've been feeling pretty meh about it (and have for the last couple years, we've been together for a hot minute), but just now I went to create a new email to store wedding-related things in, and "terra.watson" is taken. It made me realize I'll be signing up for that issue for the rest of my life, and I know it's not a big issue to have, but it's not one I've ever dealt with and it's disappointing. The odds of there being another teacher in the district I end up working at with my last name are astronomical, but there's a good possibly there could be another Mrs. Watson at my school site.

I want to share a last name with my FH. If we end up having kids, I want all of us to share a last name. It's something that really matters to me. But I'm a little sad I'd be giving this up for Watson. My name isn't the kind that sounds right hyphenated, and he'd never be interested in changing his name, so if I want our future little family unit to share a last name I just have to bite the bullet and I think that's kind of lame.

27 Comments

  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    Will he take yours?
  • Gabi
    Dedicated December 2019
    Gabi ·

    I feel you on that. I'm the last of my family, and I love my last name. But I also like my FH's last name, so what I'm doing it making it my middle name, so it's always there and not gone. If you wanna know how it'll sound before and after we get married, private message me. But there's always the option of moving it up so it's now your middle name

  • Keary
    Expert May 2019
    Keary ·
    I have a similar issue. I love my name, I love the way it sounds, and everyone at work knows me by it, His last name ends in 'ich' - which just makes me think of venereal disease and penicillin. It's probably more unique than my last name but it sounds terrible. ☹️
  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Nah, he's not interested in changing his name. He says he wouldn't mind if I just kept my last name if changing it bothered me, but I don't really want to do that either.

  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I don't mind so much the giving up the name, it's just giving it up for something that isn't equally as odd, lol. I guess my hopes were high after my sister managed to find someone with a weird last name, too.

  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Is it ich like ick-y or itch? I'm sure it doesn't actually sound that bad! It probably just takes getting used to.

  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    View Quoted Comment
    My last name will be Dickman. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
    View Quoted Comment
    It's most common amongst the people I know to either not change names or for both people to change to the same name by putting them together with or without hyphenating. You could both change names without hyphenating and use whichever one you want, really. Then your potential children could also have those two last names.
  • Rae
    Devoted July 2019
    Rae ·
    I feel you. My current last name begins with “A” and my new one will begin with “M”. A friend recently brought up how I’ll never be at the top of a list or the first name called again and it made me sad. Such a first world problem but it’s really annoying. I’ve gotten used to the privileges of alphabetical order 😂
  • Brittany
    Super October 2019
    Brittany ·

    I understand where you're coming from...funny enough, I WILL be taking the last name "Jones" LOL. I keep trying to convince myself that it goes well with my name, since my middle name is Joann. However, I'm not a fan of my last name now...so it's just like swapping one "meh" one for another

  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
    I love the title and your entire post haha. I think it’s about priorities and compromise. If you really want to share a last name maybe you could talk to him about picking a new one together? I know you said he wouldn’t be interested, but it’s worth a try! I totally understand not being overly excited about changing something so personal. Could you use your maiden name professionally and change your name legally?
  • SummerBrideInAutumn
    Rockstar October 2019
    SummerBrideInAutumn ·
    I totally feel you on this! I absolutely don’t want to lose my last name, but I’d also kinda like to share a name with him. I feel like moving my maiden name to my middle name is just the same as losing it. (How often do you go by your full name, including middle?) And I’ve heard that hyphenating can be a pain and cause issues. At this point, I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I think I’m leaning towards not changing at all. Let us know what you decide.
  • Alyssa
    Super July 2019
    Alyssa ·
    I understand completely. I have a fairly unique last name and I really like it. If I take my FH's name I'll be a Murray. Nothing wrong with that but it is much more common than my current name. The area I live in is very conservative in the mindset of marriage so I know if I don't take his name, it will always be assumed that we aren't really married which is my main motivation for taking his name. I've already had issues trying to have him listed as my emergency contact even though he is literally the only person I know in this state. My consolation right now is that there is currently 1 other person in the US with my current name and based off of her public social media pages, she's a bit of a mess so not having her come up when someone Google's my name will be a plus.
  • Samantha
    Dedicated May 2018
    Samantha ·

    I would say don't change your name if the thought makes you sad. Speaking from experience, if you don't change it, your family and friends will use your husband's last name for you socially, but you can use your original name in your career.

  • FutureMrsD
    Rockstar July 2019
    FutureMrsD ·

    Can you hyphenate your name? Or put your maiden name to your middle name, and just asked to be addressed by all three names?

  • Keary
    Expert May 2019
    Keary ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Itch. Draggich. Pronounced 'Drag- itch'. 🤷🏻‍♀️
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
    My mom kept her maiden name. She, my dad, and I don’t feel like any less of a family because of that. If you don’t want to change your name and he doesn’t want to change his name then neither of you have to. You could also hyphenate your child’s name when the time comes.
  • Nemo
    VIP August 2018
    Nemo ·

    My maiden name starts with a W and is super common. I was one of the last people to walk at my high school and college graduation. I was always the last one in line in elementary school and my "number" was always 23. My new last name does not sound super unique, but it's actually fairly uncommon. It starts with an "H" which puts me right in the middle. It's pretty weird to not be at the end anymore! So I totally get it!

  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh jeez, I hadn't even thought about that yet! From B all the way to W! That's going to be super weird.
  • Terra
    Expert September 2020
    Terra ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Joann Jones sounds like a super sleuth. 🕵️

Comment on this discussion

×