Capt&MrsMatey =)
Expert August 2013

KWR: Kids immediately or waiting?

Capt&MrsMatey =), on July 24, 2013 at 7:35 AM Posted in Married Life 0 41
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For the record, this pic is making me LMAO

We had a discussion yesterday about how soon after the wedding we want to start trying for our second child. Our son is 4 already (i'm 24) & FH said that he wanted to be done having kids by the time we're 30. I dont care for huge gaps between kids & I'll be done with school in December. I don't see anything wrong with dumping birth control after my last pack (basically the end of August) and letting the chips fall where they may. If i get pregnant, so be it. I've already got my foot in the door with my career & i haven't even graduated yet, FH already has his degree & a job (not related to said degree. wah wah), but he's really putting up the "Let's wait til we're more stable" fight. I think we could be waiting our whole lives to be "stable" & we'll never have any more kids in the process. Has anyone else had this discussion with your significant other, and how did you resolve it? =/


41 Comments

  • We'llAlwaysHaveParis
    Master November 2013
    We'llAlwaysHaveParis ·
    • Flag

    I have 2 from my first marriage. We waited a year before trying and got pg immediately.

    I told FH I'd like to wait at least 3 years before trying. I want my kids to be a little older (they're 6 and almost 5), and I want us to have some time, just the two of us too. (My ex and I share custody 50/50). He's 42 so we'll see if the bio clock starts ticking. . .

    • Reply
  • Riki
    Master August 2014
    Riki ·
    • Flag

    We will be having something of a "baby-moon"...lol! Meaning, we got to make babies right away!

    I am 30, I have no children.

    He is 40, he has no children.

    We have 2 dogs who we love and adore like children, but we do want real kids too...

    Taking into account our age, we can't really wait to make babies (there is an expiration date on these eggs...haha!)...Anywho, we have had 8 FABULOUS years of fun...Now it's time to have a family.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsB (Aussie Bride!)
    VIP September 2013
    FutureMrsB (Aussie Bride!) ·
    • Flag

    Babies scare me.... haha I work with kids everyday though

    Anyway we will be 23 & 24 when we get married so there's no rush. I want to establish my career and spend some time as a married couple first

    • Reply
  • Renee2014
    Super April 2014
    Renee2014 ·
    • Flag

    MrsB I also work with kids and I am in the same boat! It's a lot of work and I am not rushing into it anytime soon. I will be 26 and FH will be 30. We honestly haven't decided on having kids at all but we know we want to wait at least 4 years. We love traveling and want to experience a lot more out of life before we have to settle down.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Master August 2013
    Amanda ·
    • Flag

    I finished my last pill pack last Thursday! We won't be TTC until the honeymoon next month, though. We both have stable, well-paying jobs and promotions in our futures, and we purchased our home on one income, so the mortgage is pretty affordable for us. Plus, most importantly, we're both in a place emotionally where we feel ready for kids. We have some student loan debt to pay off, but honestly, that's just an inevitable bill for most people at our age.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2014
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    We probably won't have kids at all. We're both in our early 30's and FH is trying to get a new business off the ground. Between the stress of that and and financial instability that comes with it, kids don't seem to fit in the picture. Plus, neither of us feels like we have to have kids. We'll just spoil the nieces & nephews. :-)

    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Master August 2013
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    We're 25 and 26 and want to wait until around 30 before kids. FH is just graduating and needs to establish his career and pay off his student loans.

    • Reply
  • May
    VIP October 2013
    May ·
    • Flag

    We're waiting ~3yrs. I have three years left of my PhD program so we're planning for a thesis baby. If I have a kid before then I'll lose my mind trying to deal with both.

    • Reply
  • CandyApple
    VIP August 2014
    CandyApple ·
    • Flag

    My babies are 14 & 5, both from my prior marriage. FH has no babies of his own. However we just adopted a fur baby on Monday so I guess we have a fur baby together. Smiley smile I'm 32 & FH is 26. I had my tubes tied when my youngest was born in '08, but had a tubal reversal June of '12. We've been trying ever since. When it happens it happens. *fingers crossed*

    • Reply
  • Allyson
    Master May 2014
    Allyson ·
    • Flag

    I'm with May! I'll have a year left of law school when we get married. I'd like to finish and then enjoy a year of being married with more free time. So we'll probably wait until two years after the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Jules
    Master January 2014
    Jules ·
    • Flag

    We are waiting - I have one semester left of my Master's degree after the wedding and will need to sit for my board exam. I would also like to be in my job a year full time to ensure I qualify for FMLA when I eventually go out on maternity leave. I'm only 27 (to be 28 next week ahh!) so we have time.

    ETA - we don't ever actually plan on "trying" with the tracking ovulation and what not. We will just stop doing anything to prevent it and if/when it happens, it happens.

    • Reply
  • Valerie
    VIP September 2013
    Valerie ·
    • Flag

    We are not planning on having children, although if it happens it happens. If we choose to have children, we will most likely adopt.

    • Reply
  • A
    Master April 2014
    Angel J ·
    • Flag

    Just really depends on FH's job. If he can do as he wants to and get hired on team driving with his dad, it wont be a problem at all. If not, well, I'm only 25, whats the rush. If he gets the new job, we will be starting the NTNP (not trying, not preventing) method after about six to eight months after the wedding. Basically means that around that time, we would throw out the condoms and birth control and let what happens, happen.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Del Grosso
    Master June 2013
    Mrs. Del Grosso ·
    • Flag

    DH and I have been together for a little over 3 years now. I've been waiting 2 years to have a baby. Finally after we got married DH said we can start trying!! We started TTC this past Sunday (the 21st). We will finish our first round of trying August 1st. I'm beyond excited it's even happening (us trying) let alone the thought of being preggers!!!! =)

    • Reply
  • Marisa-in-Love
    Master July 2014
    Marisa-in-Love ·
    • Flag

    I have a son from a PR, but FH has been in his life since he was 2 (just turned 5). We want a large family, but we're waiting. I'm 25, he's 23, so we have some time. When we get married next year, I'll have 1 year to go until I finish my doctoral program and he'll have 3. We're waiting until after I finish my year to start TTC, but we also had a pretty serious pregnancy "scare" about six months ago, and we realized we were being overly cautious and could technically afford another child right now. We're just waiting at this point to minimize stress. But student loans are an inevitability and as long as you stay budget smart, there is no real reason, it seems to me, that you and FH need to put off babies, especially if you want to be done by 30 (my cut off is 35-37).

    • Reply
  • Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.)
    Master August 2012
    Tiffany M. ( Tiffany P.) ·
    • Flag

    We are waiting until next spring/summer to start trying for kids. DH has one year left of his diploma and should get a job almost immediately after finishing; hopefully with the same company he is working with this summer. By then I'll be 33 1/2 and DH will be 32, so it's the right time. I would love to have start trying this summer, but we aren't financially stable for a baby right now. Plus we just got a new puppy a month ago, so we are having fun spoiling him and taking care of him for now.

    • Reply
  • KellyT
    Master August 2014
    KellyT ·
    • Flag

    FH and I are both teachers (me: elementary, FH: high school) so we are around kids all day. That, and the fact that I will be 25 and FH will be 26 when we get married we don't see any rush to start having kids right away. We want to wait 4-5 years before having kids. That will give us time to enjoy each other as a married couple and get settled into a house before having kids.

    • Reply
  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    Waiting at least a year. I'll be 31 when I'm married, but I still want some alone time with the hubby.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Master November 2013
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    We are planning on waiting at least a couple of years. After all this saving for the wedding, we need to save for a house! We rent an apartment, and would like to get into a house before we have kids. We have a dog and a kitten that are spoiled rotten--they'll have to do for now Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • SA Bride!
    Super November 2013
    SA Bride! ·
    • Flag

    I told my fiance that we must wait until our finances are a little better... sometime next year more than likely, if not even in 2015. He's going to be 31 next year, and is really pushing for kids as he doesn't want to be an old dad but I'm not ready.

    • Reply

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