A.Magill.Since.May
Master May 2018

Is a Thank You note enough??

A.Magill.Since.May, on April 27, 2018 at 3:32 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
Saved Save
Reply
So I'm having my wedding at my church, both the ceremony and reception. After the wedding I plan to write heartfelt thank you notes to the church employees who have worked with me on the wedding, since they aren't exactly a venue interested in reviews and tipping feels inappropriate.

However there is also a wonderful man who is working with me as basically my Day-Of coordinator as a volunteer position as part of the church's 'wedding guild'. He's constantly emailing with me about ceremony details and helping to arrange my bulletin, he'll be there for rehearsal, and he'll be at the church for the actual wedding doing everything from running the procession to making sure the reception is set up and handled smoothly. I don't feel like a Thank You note is sufficient for everything he's doing for us, but I also don't know him well enough to get him a personalized gift. What would you do?

8 Comments

  • Disneysue
    Devoted September 2018
    Disneysue ·
    • Flag
    A hand written thank you with a gift card to a local coffee shop or restaurant.
    • Reply
  • P
    Dedicated September 2020
    Paulette ·
    • Flag
    What about a donation to the church. When I was first married we gave the church a nice donation and they really appreciated it.
    • Reply
  • L
    Expert May 2018
    LIZ ·
    • Flag
    Definitely the hand written Thank You, that always goes a long way. Perhaps asking your clergy person what you could do for a little extra thank you for all his help. They may have an idea or even tell you nothing extra is necessary. I do like the donation and gift card ideas, also maybe one for a book store? Good luck.
    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    The wedding in the church cost $1000, with an extra $500 to use the parish Hall for the reception, and I'm a member who gives regularly, so I don't think another donation is needed. I really just want to do something for this person who is not a church employee and is doing all these things for me as part of a volunteer position. A gift card might be a good option.
    And of course the hand written thank you note is a must, I was just thinking of doing something in addition to that.
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    Especially for those in volunteer positions, I'd do a gift card. They are not "employees" of the church, but good-hearted volunteers who are using their personal time to help you and serve the congregation. It's likely a personal ministry they love, but I'd definitely do something tangible to show appreciation. Volunteers -- and especially, in my experience, church volunteers -- don't get anywhere near the recognition and appreciation they deserve. Smiley heart

    PS -- the $1500 you're paying in "venue fees" are likely quite low compared with if you'd gone with another option, and the church probably isn't tacking on an 18-20% service fee, so even with a generous thank-you gift, you're probably coming out way ahead.



    • Reply
  • Disneysue
    Devoted September 2018
    Disneysue ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I completely agree. Another option, if it's a lady, a gift certificate for a manicure pedicure or spa treatments, or sometimes movie theaters have a gift pack that's movie tickets drinks and a snack, or a local restaurant too.
    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    It's an older gentleman, not a woman, so I'm not sure what to get him a gift card for, but I'm going to go with handwritten thank you note and some kind of gift card!
    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I didn't say I was paying as much as people do when they go through regular commercial venues, I just said I don't think an additional donation to the church is needed, nor would it fulfill the purpose I'm talking about with thanking a parishioner who is assisting me as part of a volunteer position.
    Anyway, on top of the "venue fees" I'm using the church's chef as the caterer, which does happen to include a 18% gratuity/service charge.
    • Reply

Comment on this discussion

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

WeddingWire article topics