Amy D-L
Devoted June 2018

Intro/Chronically Fabulous Brides

Amy D-L, on May 16, 2017 at 1:47 PM Posted in Fitness and Health

FH and I have been together for 9 years and finally got engaged last summer! He proposed at my favorite spot on the river while we were rockhounding, with a ring he designed. It was perfect!

We’re getting married at a 4H camp here in MT (which has special meaning to us), and having a 2 year engagement b/c I’m currently in treatment for a fairly serious illness. It’s made the planning process difficult already b/c I’m not allowed to leave the house and my cognitive/neuro symptoms make it impossible to have phone conversations…or remember what the hell I’m doing. Heh. Which brings me to…

Any other chronically ill brides on here? Has your illness made planning more difficult? What are your goals/worries for your big day? I’m not only hoping to get through the day, but to enjoy and REMEMBER it. I’m hoping I can walk by then—and a bonus would be to wear the high heel boots I’m in love with. Plus I’d really love to have a glass of wine and dance the night away!! How about you?

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20 Comments

  • Jacqui
    Super June 2018
    Jacqui ·

    Congratulations on your engagement!

  • Z_Runner
    VIP June 2017
    Z_Runner ·

    Congrats!

  • Christine
    Devoted September 2017
    Christine ·

    Congrats on your engagement I'm also dealing with chronic illness,I have chronic fatigue syndrome/fibromyalgia. Though I'm doing better than I was a few years ago after changing my diet. My main concern is that I'll feel sick at the reception because I'm definitely drinking (there have been times where I haven't been able to tolerate alcohol, though I'm also getting better with that) and I'm kind of sad about not eating a real wedding cake (dietary restrictions). Planning while being sick and working full time has been stressful but now I'm at the point where pretty much everything is done and it should all go smoothly from here on out. Good luck with your planning.

  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·

    Here!

    I've been diagnosed with several different GI and liver disorders, and am currently planning a wedding AND now considering an open heart surgery, which is just lovely.

    I've been using the wedding planning as sort of an escape from the reality, but also have to plan certain times of day for me to eat (I don't eat solids more than twice a day) and trying to ensure my stomach does not swell/fill with fluid.

    I have extreme swelling of the liver and colon, which causes me to collect fluids within minutes and look like I'm literally 6 months pregnant. I'm beyond worried this will happen on the wedding day.

    I'm blessed like you with a supporting FH and one that understands that life is going to run a bit differently

    As far as remembering the day, maybe consider a videographer to help give a bit more than pictures?

    I used a walking cane in high school for roughly 9 months, maybe you could dress one of those up to help you get down the aisle? Or just lean heavily on whoever is walking you down? Not sure how severe the atrophy (if that's what makes you unable to walk?) Is.

  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·

    I honestly don't think I've ever heard the term "Chronically Fabulous" but I love it.

  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·

    I couldn't imagine how hard cognitive symptoms must be. I get pretty bad brain fog from my medications, but it's not even close to what you must have to deal with.

  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·

    I’m sorry you’re going through all of that. I’m sure it’s not easy.

    I have fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue as well as IBS/GERD. It’s definitely changed how I’ve planned things. Stress is a huge trigger for me (for all of my illnesses), so obviously planning a wedding could be catastrophic. I looked into having a wedding at a beautiful historic site, but I was going to have to coordinate every vendor (wedding planner isn’t in the budget). So I gave up that dream and went with an all-inclusive golf course venue to reduce the majority of the stress. I think that’s made a huge difference in my remaining as healthy as possible.

    I do worry about the day of. Like @Christine, alcohol has been hit or miss for me in the past. As long as I only have a drink or two I should be okay. Food shouldn’t be an issue as they said they’ll prepare any dish I’d like. I’m hopeful that with all my meds I take I can dance the night away without too much pain. I’m sure I’ll be exhausted and pretty useless the next day, but it’ll be worth it.

    Anytime you need support, there’s a great group of people here.

  • Amy D-L
    Devoted June 2018
    Amy D-L ·

    Thank you ladies for sharing! Christine, I hope your body allows you to drink alcohol that day! And that’s great you’re pretty much done planning. Crossing my fingers for smooth sailing for you. Victoria- I agree, the planning can be an escape from all of this! I’m worried about my stomach too-- these illnesses can just be so unpredictable and have the WORST timing. We’re hiring a videographer for the ceremony and omg I should totally dress up my cane/wheelchair! Haha. So glad your FH is supportive as well! I hope your tummy behaves and you don’t require open heart surgery. That sounds terrible Ugh.

  • Amy D-L
    Devoted June 2018
    Amy D-L ·

    RaeGin- thank you for sharing! Yes, stress is such a huge factor, isn't it? I'm glad you were able to adjust your wedding to help with the stress. I'm sure it will be beautiful! I fully expect a major flare after the wedding too-- I hope we can all at least enjoy the day while it's happening!

  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·

    As superficial as it may sound, I'm mostly worried about the scars from the surgery showing above my dress.

    raegin , Glad you were able to find a venue that would ease the stress a bit!

    Good luck to both of you, here's to hoping our bodies will give us a break for one day.

  • Amy D-L
    Devoted June 2018
    Amy D-L ·

    That's understandable Victoria. Could your MUA help with that?

  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·

    Congrats : )

    FH has diabetic complications where he gets sick out of the blue due to GP & recently started using a walking stick (refuses to use the cane that was Rx to him). And his meds cause drowsiness. As of right now, we still plan on doing the 1st dance where he can lean on me; but he’s not sure about the GM/FMIL dance. Obviously, there will be a lot of walking the day of the wedding, so I’m reevaluating the day-of timeline to add in more gaps to allow him to rest/walk slowly, etc. We also took out the extra insurance on our honeymoon where we can cancel/reschedule for any reason. The all-inclusive resort also has an onsite Dr/pharmacy. Pretty nervous if we had to use them; but they are there.

    I like the PPs suggestion of having a videography for your wedding day. And I also have used wedding planning as a mini escape from our new reality.

  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·

    Thank you, ladies. I’m sure for us planning a wedding is a completely difference experience. I’m looking forward to the day, but I’ll be relieved when it’s over.

    @Amy D-L, I’m worried about a post-wedding flare-up as well. Going to do my best to save up as much PTO as possible, just in case. We aren’t taking a honeymoon until next year, so I should have enough.

    @Victoria, I can totally understand your worry with the scar. Have you considered asking your HMUA about covering it? When all is said and done though, you will be a beautiful bride regardless. Our scars are always far more visible to us than to anyone else.

  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·

    @RaeGin, we did the same! My 1st pick was a park where we'd have to coordinate everything. FH's 1st pick was a hotel that is semi-inclusive. So much less to worry about/stress over...this has been huge. I figure if I'm less stressed on our wedding day - the pics will be better & our night will be memorable for the good things : )

  • RaeGin
    Master September 2017
    RaeGin ·

    @Ambrok, that's a great way to look at it! We decided to do our first look photos somewhere else because I am honestly a bit bummed about it, but in the end it'll be well worth it (there's nothing at all wrong with our venue, just not what I envisioned). I'm glad that choice worked out for you as well. I can't even imagine how stressful it would've been coordinating EVERY detail.

  • Amy D-L
    Devoted June 2018
    Amy D-L ·

    Ambrok- that’s good you’re thinking about gaps to allow him to rest. Hopefully by doing that, he’ll have more strength for the 1st dance! I hadn’t heard about extra insurance for honeymoons- that’s a great idea. I hope everything works out for you two on the big day and for your honeymoon! We really do have to think about so much more than “normal” people.

  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·

    @RaeGin, we did take our epics at that park

  • Andrea
    Beginner October 2019
    Andrea ·

    This post was from a while ago, but another chronically ill bride on here

    love the term chronically fabulous!

    yes it makes wedding planning... just take more effort and thought. and it is a nice escape!

    -We are having the reception somewhere with lots of farm-to-table organic and gluten-free options

    -I want to try all my hair and makeup products beforehand multiple times, since I never know what i'll react to when i'm trying things the first time

    -Going to take it easy for like a month beforehand so I don't injure myself or have a setback that makes the wedding day hard; just not take risks before the actual date

    -Wearing some sparkly flats, not heels

    -Not going to drink at all at wedding myself

  • ArianaB
    Expert April 2019
    ArianaB ·

    First welcome and congrats on your engagement. I am dealing with chronic health conditions that definitely make planning a bit difficult. I am also having a long engagement. I currently reside in GA but am from NJ. I consider NJ home and that is where our wedding will be. Planning from a distance can be tricky. The plus side to it is that I frequently have to go back to NJ for doctor appointments. So now the wedding aspect is something rewarding when I am there if that makes sense.

  • Stacey
    Super October 2018
    Stacey ·

    Me! I have several chronic illnesses and it can make planning tough. I am in the 2nd year of our 2 year engagement now. I'm glad we took more time, I am in school and working full time, and add in the countless doctor's appointments (which can feel like a 2nd job!) and I am often too exhausted to plan. My biggest issues have been food (I have a lot of restrictions) and trying to find a way to manage the day so that I have some breaks to avoid exhaustion and flare ups.

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