Super May 2018

In-laws using registry as idea base and I'm not fond of the results.

P.F., on January 29, 2018 at 4:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 2
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So my FILs bought things for Christmas that were kind of what we have on our registry but not quite. What they buy isn't necessarily more expensive so they aren't trying to get a "better version," nor is it cheaper so they aren't going the "less expensive" route. Like I want a ring dish so when I'm cooking and cleaning I have an obvious safe place for my rings. My FBIL's gf gave me a ring dish that I was happy to get purely for functionality but boy is it ugly! I have it in the bathroom for when I take a shower so I'm still using it but I'd still rather have the one on my registry or at least one that is cute or pretty.

I have no desire to own a fruit basket but if my FMIL insists, I'd appreciate it if it weren't absolutely ginormous! This thing is huge and shaped awkwardly so it takes up maximum space on my counter and I hate clutter on my counters. I do a lot of serious baking and I require that space be free. It's such an eye sore. We don't even put fruit in it. I keep my fruit in the fruit tray in the fridge. The only thing we leave out are the bananas so it's this huge empty basket with a banana bunch hanging off it.

FMIL knows I like to cook so she's trying to give me kitchen things even though she knows nothing of cooking so I think it's sweet she's trying. But I need her to scale the sizes down. She bought me a utensil holder (I already have one that I'm fond of) ....I didn't even know they made utensil holders that big! I tried a variety of combinations with my utensils to make it look nice in my kitchen but in the end all it was was more clutter on my counter that didn't match anything next to it. It stuck out like a sore thumb and it looked terrible. I put my old utensil holder back and I'm using the one she gave me as a junk holder on a shelf above our desk. It's just... not everything is better bigger! My precious counter tops! Quit trying to cover them!!

I have a couple small fryers on the registry, one with oil and one is an air fryer. I was going to delete one if the other was bought but I'm hoping to try out that air fryer. Anyways, FBIL bought this big indoor turkey fryer (it was $20 on black friday so no, he wasn't spending way more than what we asked for) that I won't use because at what point do I need to fry that much food at once? Except once every few years when I do Thanksgiving? Where will I even keep it? I don't have room that!

It's like...they are so close and yet so far away! If they would just use the registry as what we want instead of ideas of what to give us, then all would be well! I want a ring dish that isn't hideous! I don't want utensil holders or fruit baskets in general but I at least would like them to not be massive! I want a small fryer, not a huge thing I will never use!

I don't feel like it's too much to ask that if they are going to buy something based off the registry that it actually be the item we put on the registry. A different brand or a better priced one is totally cool, but at least make sure it's what we wanted, not something totally different! Now my apartment is filling up with junk that I hate and I'm not allowed to get rid of!

I'm also aware of the "I'm being ungrateful" aspect but seriously, my home is filling up with bulky things that I hate looking at. I legit get upset when I walk through the door and see all the things that I hate taking over my home.


  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
    • Flag

    Aww, it sounds like they're very sweet but this is tricky. I understand that you're appreciative of their gifts and generosity, but you also want things that you'll use - that's what a registry is all about! Could this be a one off issue? Could they have been struggling for ideas this Christmas and thought of the registry as their secret weapon? Maybe they saw things on your registry but didn't want to buy directly off it (since it is meant to be used for the wedding) so they used it as inspo, but this won't likely happen again? How are they usually at gifting? My inclination might be that this is a one off, and when you don't have a registry anymore they might go back to more usual gifting. If you're worried though you might speak to your FS and see if they can gently nudge them towards gift cards at stores you like, or buying directly off your wedding registry or amazon wishlist or what have you.

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  • P.F.
    Super May 2018
    P.F. ·
    • Flag
    You're right, it's a one off thing until the wedding is over because they normally get me only things I asked for or gift cards. So I should just not worry about it. But It's still frustrating. Thank you for putting it in perspective!
    • Reply

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