Rose
Dedicated January 2018

I think it's okay to plan ahead! Thoughts?

Rose, on June 23, 2016 at 1:26 PM Posted in Planning 0 34
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I am a year and a half out, but I am in the process of starting a new job that will be 3 hrs of commute a day and I know things are going to get hectic. I'm using as much down time as possible to figure out big things (vendors) and then getting ideas for little things (wedding colors, favors, songs) just so later I'm not going nuts. I see so many people, myself included, getting the constant "Why are you worrying about this?" "Don't worry about it you have plenty of time" "Why are you sending out invites so soon!?"

Some questions I have are random thoughts I get that I'd rather ask about then forget about but, I am not losing sleep over it. Please stop telling me it's too soon! If you're honestly curious, just ask and I'll tell you why I'm doing something in advance but don't assume.

Anyone else out there a planner? How far ahead did you decide on things/or are planning on deciding? Would I be better off hiding my wedding date and asking away? hahaha

34 Comments

  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    HOWEVER, if someone asks a question with time to spare and they are genuinely freaking out over it, I think it's okay to remind them to take a step back and breath. Most of you have good advice about when to actually worry about things. There are just some of us who are just curious.

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  • WhitneyYvonne
    Super January 2017
    WhitneyYvonne ·
    • Flag

    I think when it comes to a wedding you have to be a planner! Venues fill up and so it's better to get that stuff booked then lose the stuff you want!

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie Online ·
    • Flag

    In general with wedding planning, it's never too early Smiley smile However it does depend on the planning you're doing! Follow the WW checklist and start with all the big stuff and try not to worry too much about the decor details yet. You can drive yourself nuts if you try to tackle everything at once, so definitely prioritize!

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  • Colleen
    Devoted September 2016
    Colleen ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't book anything just yet or get a dress in the next few months but deff use the extra time to do tons of research so you know exactly what style, colors, vendors, venue....and all that that you want. I was set on my theme and colors when I first got engaged and it changed twice. Plus, starting to research early lets you really figure out your budget as well.

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    @WWLynnie haha, yeah the checklist is useful but I'm already months ahead. Whoops.

    ETA: @Colleen I'm waiting for my contract for the venue, and I'm already in talks with the photographer so once I get the venue, I'm booking with him as well. I think a BIG thing people need to remember when they tell others not to book too early is whether or not vendors will grandfather people into old pricing! That's the case with my venue and photographer. I've already started looking for florist and DJ to see if any I like also grandfather me into 2017 pricing. If they don't, then I'd might as well wait Smiley smile & yes my colors have changed as well, but they actually went from something more complicated to more simple to make my life easy haha

    I am DEFINITELY waiting for the dress though.

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  • MrsToBe-BecameMrs
    VIP September 2016
    MrsToBe-BecameMrs ·
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    This seems like a really passive aggressive post but I'll bite:

    Its never too early to plan the big stuff: Venue, caterer, bar package, BUT with a year and half to go a lot of things can change so when you tackle too much or focus on the smaller details you can really end up getting burned. For example: asking your bridesmaids too early, doing a cake tasting too early (or any tasting really), deciding on decor you just LOVE (it may be over played by the time of your wedding), etc.

    If people are telling you its too early it's because we have seen where it can go wrong. If you feel that your circumstance needs a little extra time just head that off in your OP. Its not that big of a deal. Remember, we can only give advice on the information we are given.

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  • BoozyBaker
    Master January 2017
    BoozyBaker ·
    • Flag

    As a type A i think it is super okay to plan early.

    That said there's two things I would wait on: Invites (for obvious reasons) and dress shopping. It's hard to stop looking even after you found one and it could lead to expensive dress regret later.

    To answer your questions: I started planning before he asked. FH had been asking me to marry him for 3 years. I half jokingly said I'll take you seriously when you get a ring. It seemed like an obvious thing that was going to happen eventually so, knowing nothing about weddings at all, I started doing my research. (It didn't hurt that I had years of back issues of all kinds of bridal magazines at my disposal for free thanks to my job).

    We decided on the big things pretty early on and then it was just a waiting game because the few times I asked about things so far in advance (18 months or so) I had venues and other businesses telling me it was "too soon". I definitely started fudging the date when I asked around for prices and quotes to get an idea of how much things cost.

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
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    @MrsToBe Hm, those are definitely good points. I'm already on the same page as you, but I didn't want to ramble on in the first post. Big stuff: definitely plan, Small stuff: get ideas and ask questions but don't start buying or trying yet. So my issue is, in my case, I like to ask questions to get ideas for those small things (decor, colors, songs) but I am not in the process of getting any of them yet. When some people come onto the post saying it's too early, it's almost like no matter the OP's reasoning, it's just too early. Period.

    I'd prefer OP's to elaborate and for posters to ask rather than tell. (Not: It's so early! but Why so early?) It sets up a post for more discussion about the topic rather than a close down of the question. I'll be sure to elaborate my reasons from now on in my own posts with questions.

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  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    Use your time while you have it! I'm 21 months out still and I have my vendor booked, I just bought my STDs and invites (don't worry I'm tucking them in a closet in not that nuts) and hoping to get photo and dj booked soon. It will make your life way easier in the long run!

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  • brieliz
    VIP January 2017
    brieliz ·
    • Flag

    Date twin but a year apart! I've gotten some slack on here (and by family members) that I over plan. But I've always been like that. I planned out what I wanted to major in in college in the 4th grade. I get some things can go wrong, but you know your friends and your situation in regards to doing any bridal party stuff early. As long as you are OK booking it and you don't change your mind often, I think its fine. Once I make a decision I move on to the next thing, I don't keep looking and going over it seeing if there is something better, and it works for me.

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    @Brieliz Yes that's me! Once it's done, it's done!

    At first I wanted your date but decided to wait another year because our lives are so crazy at the moment. So excited for you!!! Still waiting on my venue but my date might actually change to 1/13/18. It seems so far away but I can't believe it's almost July so I know a year and a half is going to go by so quick!

    @Melissa I'm already looking for STDs because I'll be sending mine out early - probably early November or December - because 98% of my family is out of state...all the way in PR actually, so I want to give them plenty of time to save and plan!

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  • OriginalLaura
    Master March 2017
    OriginalLaura ·
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    I booked everything 2 years in advance. The top vendors book really fast and I wanted my favorites.

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  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
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    I just ordered my STDs I'm not sending them for a long time, probably almost in a year. We signed the contract for our venue and I'm not one to change my like ever so I'm not worried about it. And if I do, they were on sale so I'm not too upset if something changes.

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    @VJ Ah yes, the guest list is a whole 'nother story. It's probably because our families have a say in who they want there so trying to keep it at a reasonable number while TRYING not to offend anyone is tough. If it was just up to my FH and I, we'd be done by now and have a cap of 160 invited. Our venue holds 200 so our family is trying to fill it to 200 people invited. I'm expecting the guest list to be worked on for months at this rate..

    ETA: @OriginalLaura @Melissa I love it! I don't feel so weird anymore haha

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  • MrsToBe-BecameMrs
    VIP September 2016
    MrsToBe-BecameMrs ·
    • Flag

    Then I think I'm going to disagree with you. Any post Ive ever seen where the OP says "Hey, I'm looking at XX and YY for my Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring wedding anyone have any ideas? I know Im way early but XX is in budget if booked early or YY is booking up fast...blah blah blah" Ppl will give nothing but positive honest responses.

    Now on the other hand when a post reads like a facebook status "What everyone think about mint bridesmaids dresses??" Sure, you're going to get a lot of "don't worry about it" and "you're way too early for that". Those type of discussions are annoying for the same reason a single person have 3 or 4 threads on the front page is annoying; it takes place of "down to the wire" type of questions from other brides.

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  • Fernandez2018
    Super August 2018
    Fernandez2018 ·
    • Flag

    I personally have a far date as well and it is sometimes annoying to hear people have comments about how early it is to start planning. I am a planner so for me it is better to start early and not have to stress much later on. FH and I already booked our venue only because it is already booked until April 2018 so we decided that was something we needed to book as soon as possible considering how booked it is already. Other big vendors like caterer, DJ, flowers I am only looking at prices for right now to see who has the best prices. It is also good to book stuff ahead because prices do go up every year. Dress, invitations and smaller stuff i will not start worrying about until mid of next year.

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie Online ·
    • Flag

    Outside of WW when people say it's too early to do something planning related I just smile and in my head think "hahah they have no idea what planning is like", if someone says that ON WW I do generally think they're trying to help you keep your sanity!! So many things can change during the planning process, so there are definitely some things you shouldn't nail down too far in advance. I've been worried the whole time I've been planning that I'm going to completely change my mind on colors and decor (haven't changed it all yet, almost there!!) Never too early to start looking at everything though! Private pinterest boards, google docs with ideas, go nuts Smiley smile

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    @MrsToBe Well I agree - if an OP explains the situation I do see a lot of positive response when asking about venues/vendors.

    In the case of someone having a general question like wedding colors; if the person is just curious (as in, they are not having a panic attack over it) then it doesn't matter how annoying the question is because that is the point of a forum. I'm sorry but if you're going to shut down a question by dismissing it because it's "annoying" and taking away from "down to the wire" questions, then threads like Thirsty Thursday or Unpopular Opinion shouldn't be tolerated either. They're taking away space, BUT they're a great way to break some ice and discuss other things that are not wedding related. So while some people find questions asking about mint bridesmaids dresses annoying, others find them interesting and like to read them for more ideas.

    Point is...I am a curious person. Curiosity posts shouldn't be shut down because a person's wedding is years away. It's a great way to gather ideas, not just for them but others who might have closer weddings. I just want people to remember that when they start making assumptions.

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  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    We're over a year out, but we're planning. Between us, we have 3 sons, a house to take care of, and pets. We have very limited funds for a wedding and because of that, we're doing a bit at a time. I don't think there is ever a "too early to plan".

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  • Rose
    Dedicated January 2018
    Rose ·
    • Flag

    @Fernandez2018 That's awesome! That's one big thing you don't have to worry about! I'm already looking for other vendors to see if they'll grandfather me into 2017 pricing. If you find someone you really love, and you're not someone who changes their mind a lot, I recommend you ask them if they'd do the same for you and take em!

    @WWLynnie Most definitely..like I mentioned, I am expecting to have a crazy 4 months ahead of me starting in September so being able to collect as many ideas and as much advice from this forum now will allow me to pull up the information when I need it rather than running around to find it. It gives me room to breath and worry more about making dinner at 9pm! haha Smiley smile

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