Master September 2015

I Can Be in Your Bridal Party

Kathryn, on November 3, 2014 at 10:19 AM Posted in Planning 0 20
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FI and I had a Halloween party at our house Friday. 2 of his gm's were there with their gf's. Mike has been dating Carol for 4 months and Tim has been dating Paula for less than a month. Carol is quite loud and outgoing and very young. She just turned 20 where as Mike is going to be 30 soon. Paula is young as well, 23.

Carol was talking to me about our wedding. She asked how big our bridal party was so I told her I was having 7 bm and FI was having 8 gm. Carol and Paula were quite confused as to why we didn't have an even #. I told her FI had more friends. She then asked if Mike was a gm and I said yes. She looked at Paula and mouthed, "I could be a bm". Seriously, she didn't try to hide it and it was quite presumptuous. I mostly hope they break up before the wedding but that is just me being mean. Then she went on to tell Paula about how Mike's friends are all old and getting married.

Has anyone else had these weird situations where people want to get in your bridal party?


  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    Hahaha yes. My FH's SiL kept pushing for it and all I said was "I've known my BMs for 17 years and 9 years."

    • Reply
  • Maltese
    Master June 2015
    Maltese ·
    • Flag

    Yes....FH had a friend (that he only sees a handful of times a year) that kept making remarks about what a good best man he would be and how excited he was (even though he KNEW he wasn't the best man) and dropped a couple hints so that now FH feels guilty for not asking him to stand up.

    I told him I would ask his two sisters to stand up but then he had to ask one of my best guy friends (i have no brothers) to stand up. Eye for an eye I told him....and its only fair

    • Reply
  • MissToMrs
    Devoted August 2015
    MissToMrs ·
    • Flag

    We had this problem with so many people that we eventually just decided to have a BM and MOH. It was crazy to me to see how many people flat out asked if they were going to be/could be in our wedding! Who does that!!

    • Reply
  • Silan
    Master April 2015
    Silan ·
    • Flag

    Yep. A coworker who I've only hung out with maybe once outside of work has asked numerous times to be a BM or come to the wedding, even though I've told her every time we're having a small wedding with only close family and friends.

    • Reply
  • Monana
    VIP May 2015
    Monana ·
    • Flag

    I have a 'friend' who has volunteered her daughter as a flower girl multiple times. We were pretty clear that we are using FH's niece.

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  • M
    Master December 2014
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    I haven't had anyone do this but that is crazy of that girl to think she could be a BM. I can't stand when people do that.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master December 2015
    BunnyLove ·
    • Flag

    Yes. One of the GM's GF tried her hardest to be a part of the wedding. I did a post about it a few months ago. they have been on-again/off-again for 6 years. I was more irritated than uncomfortable. However, I just told her no. And left it at that.

    • Reply
  • JanuaryWedding
    Super January 2016
    JanuaryWedding ·
    • Flag

    This hasn't been a problem for me and I doubt it will be. But the cojones on that girl! I have no clue why weddings make people lose their minds like that. I've been in 3 so far and another one coming up before I marry. I'm hoping that's it. I'd much rather be a guest from now on!

    • Reply
  • Brisa
    Savvy November 2015
    Brisa ·
    • Flag

    My FH today asked me to have one of his groomsman's gf in my bridal party. Mind you, they've been dating 3 months and she's crazy. Why? So she doesn't get jealous he's walking with someone else. -_- This was a serious conversation LOL needless to say, no way in hell is she will be in my bridal party.

    • Reply
  • Precious
    VIP August 2015
    Precious ·
    • Flag

    That is why I am keeping my bridal party very simple, just my sisters. People don't question or try to pressure me after they hear that I'm keeping just family.

    • Reply
  • Jillian
    Master May 2015
    Jillian ·
    • Flag

    I haven't had this experience, but I think it's so crazy people would assume or jump to offer themselves. How in the world do they think that it is appropriate?!

    • Reply
  • Shelby H.
    VIP October 2014
    Shelby H. ·
    • Flag

    Yes I have a friend that I'm actually very close with but we had a falling out right when the wedding planning started. We made amends and became close again, but that was well after everyone was picked and had their dresses but she kept pressing the issue, even so much as asking me flat out, "So can I be in the wedding?" while we were out to drinks. I compromised and told her no, but that she could wear purple and she took it and ran with it.

    And then she showed up at the rehearsal dinner, then when I went to get my hair dyed afterwards (it was supposed to be a bonding experience for all my girls), and stayed almost the whole entire time we were getting ready. I finally had to kick her out before we put on our dresses.

    She didn't mean anything bad by it, and she is a good friend she's just that super clingy friend. But she's a great girl so no big deal.

    • Reply
  • JaKLyn
    Master November 2015
    JaKLyn ·
    • Flag

    My FSIL assumed she was a BM (she even started telling people she was going to be in the wedding) She was extremely upset once we selected the bridal party. We also had a friend who assumed her son and daughter would be the ring bearer and flower girl since our daughter was the flower girl in their wedding. We had no idea she thought this until she asked if she could borrow MaKyla's FG dress from her wedding for her daughter to wear as the FG in ours..... um nope sorry...

    • Reply
  • Dani
    Super December 2014
    Dani ·
    • Flag

    Wow! What nerve. And yes we had this happen. One of our mutual friends whose wife is my BM asked to be FH's groomsman at lunch once. Flat out asked because he wanted their friendship to be better (he had been really mean to me and we had huge issues when this guy was completely inappropriate to me) FH handled it with grace and didn't give him an answer. He's an usher now, there was no way in hell that guy would be in our bridal party!

    • Reply
  • KaylaP
    VIP September 2014
    KaylaP ·
    • Flag

    I actually found out a couple months before the wedding that one of my bridesmaids called a friend the night we got engaged and said, "OMG Kayla and Seth got engaged! We are going to be bridesmaids!!" The friend informed her that she wouldn't be a bm but the one who called probably would be. She told her that, Kayla and I aren't as close as we used to be. It still iritates me that she fully EXPECTED to be a bm.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Hunnibear
    Master October 2015
    Mrs. Hunnibear ·
    • Flag

    Lol sorry but I find it funny "they are getting old and married" My brother and his wife got married at 19 and they are still together and just celebrated their 6th anniversary.

    I had a little cousin ask if she could be a BM and by that time I had already had my 7 (2MOH's 5 BM's) and another little cousin wanted to be a FG but I felt she was too old to be one so I made them both JR BM's... I can't believe that girl though sheesh have some damn class smh lol

    • Reply
  • Andrea
    Expert May 2015
    Andrea ·
    • Flag

    There seems to be a big problem with girls trying to make their friends wedding about them. My FSIL is being a groomsmen and when we asked her she wanted her GF to be a BM. I didn't really have much of a problem with it, until I found out months later that the gf wanted nothing to do with the wedding and had no idea she was supposed to be in the bridal party. -_-

    So there are crazy people everywhere lol

    • Reply
  • MrsPope
    Master September 2015
    MrsPope ·
    • Flag

    I have a co worker who I really like we talk outside of work and have a lot in common. I've known her just over a year and when I told her about the wedding she said "I better be in the wedding or invited" I responded "well your definitely invited" LOL. I was confused as to why she thought she would be a BM? My BM's consist of my sister, my bff of 21 years, 2 of my cousins, and my friend of 11 years from high school.

    • Reply
  • Lennox
    Super May 2015
    Lennox ·
    • Flag

    I had one friend insist to be in my bridal party before we were even engaged. "Luckily" we had a falling out shortly after I was engaged so it was never an issue.

    We were friends for years but pretty off and on. I had just responded with "We will see. We want to keep the parties pretty small". That also ended up being true with only two each but I know she would take offence to the fact one of those two girls is someone she doesn't like. Even though that girl is best friends with both FH and I are has been a solid friend to us both through our relationship. However since I have TECHNICALLY known the BM for less time then the "friend" it would have been taken as a direct insult...

    • Reply
  • S.W.
    Expert August 2015
    S.W. ·
    • Flag

    We have an uneven bridal party because I have 4 girls I couldn't imagine being with out and he just wanted his 2 brothers. I asked if he would consider my brother as a groomsmen but he said no, my brother and I have a weird relationship. I love him because he's my brother but he really frustrates me and my Facebook sometimes. Anyway I told my MOH that and she suggested her husband and another friends husband could be groomsmen. I know it came from the best of intentions but selfishly if my brother can't help make up uneven numbers I'd rather them be uneven. Is this weird?

    • Reply

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