Jessie
Devoted September 2020

How soon is too soon?

Jessie, on April 2, 2019 at 2:49 AM Posted in Planning 0 12
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Planning a wedding in Indiana for September of 2020. I live in Mississippi with my fiancee and his family. Won't be back up north until Christmas this year. I'd like to send a ring from etsy to my 2 best friends with a note asking them to be bridesmaids. Is it too soon (a year and a half out) to ask them? Should I wait for Christmas when I see them both again? Cause I honestly don't want to wait that long 馃槄

12 Comments

  • Hermione
    Devoted February 2020
    Hermione
    • Flag
    Could you? Yes
    Too soon? Yes
    Bridesmaid selection is best 6-9 months out. If you are dead sure, a year at most.

    Things happen in a year and a half. One of the bridesmaids may get pregnant and have twins or triplets in that time which may cause her to back out with good reasons. Random scenario but lives do change in unexpected ways. Humans are bad at predicting the future.
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  • Amber
    Expert September 2020
    Amber
    • Flag
    Hey Twin!! I'm getting married also in September of 2020!! Its not too early to ask the ppl you want in your bridal party. I already asked mine.. I even took one of my bridesmaids dress shoppingjust to get an idea on styles n colors..
    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Devoted May 2017
    Katelyn
    • Flag
    Agree with first post. You could ask now bbut please wait until Christmas. That's really the perfect time. A lot can happen, relationships may change, and I personally think asking to early builds unrealistic expectations from the bride about how involved they will be. Plus, it can also lead to drama and stress over getting dresses, which really don't need to happen until March of 2020 at the earliest. As a former bride and BM, its sucks being asked to purchase a dress 1.5 years in advance of an event when lots of things could change (pregnancy mainly) and then you're stuck with a dress you can't wear.
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  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K
    • Flag

    I would definitely wait until Christmas. I asked my girls in February 2018 for my June 2019 wedding and I wish I had waited because now I have one or two girls that I feel like I wouldn't have asked if I had waited closer. We just aren't close anymore and the only thing we have in common is the fact that they're in the wedding. I don't see the friendship surviving past that.

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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy
    • Flag

    I would wait. There's SO many brides who regret wedding parties. There's no need to rush into asking, because there's nothing for them to do for awhile. Agree with the very first post, more like 6-9 months is more ideal.

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  • idosoon
    Devoted February 2020
    idosoon
    • Flag

    Depends on the relationships. I asked my MOH as soon as I got engaged (2 years out).

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  • Kristen
    VIP April 2020
    Kristen
    • Flag
    Depends on the friendship. I asked almost two years out and have 0 regrets.
    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Devoted February 2020
    Hermione
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    My MoH I asked 11 months out but this is my best friend of over 20 years. She recently lost her dog and can't really do any of the MoH stuff because she is 8 hours away. I am keeping her as my MoH but that's because the relationship and we're great friends.

    My second bridesmaid is not being asked till May. I plan on doing rough bridesmaids dress shopping at the 4-6 month mark.
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  • Alycia
    Devoted April 2020
    Alycia
    • Flag
    I think really depends on how close you are and how sure you are about the selection. I asked my bridesmaid 13 months before my wedding and no regrets.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD
    • Flag

    Most people say to wait until 9-12 months out. I didn't do that haha! I texted the girls right away (18 months out) and sent proposal boxes 14 months out. I haven't had any drama (I have 9 bridesmaids - we are less than 4 months out) but a lot of women do have drama and regret if they ask too early.

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  • Jessie
    Devoted September 2020
    Jessie
    • Flag
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    My MoH and I have been sisters/best friends for 15 years. She went dress shopping with me, mom, and grandma (back in October before even having a date set). She already knows she'll be MoH but I still want to formally ask her.
    • Reply
  • idosoon
    Devoted February 2020
    idosoon
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    That's perfect! and I know what you mean, same here with mine.

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