Cydney J (Cydney M)
Master October 2011

honesty

Cydney J (Cydney M), on November 10, 2011 at 2:28 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 94
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I'm curious...if you see something on here that you don't think looks good...whether it be a DIY, bride's dress, or something else involving their wedding...do you tell the truth, even if they don't ask??

Sometimes I see things on here where I think 'woah' that's horrible...and I want to say something...but I don't want to be rude/mean about it...and it bothers me even more when I see other people commenting about how gorgeous/stunning/beautiful/cool it is...so I tend to just not say anything at all.

Thoughts?

EDIT: When asking about honesty...I'm not stating that you need to bash them with aggressive comments. I'm asking do you constructively tell them your thoughts on the matter.

94 Comments

  • E
    Devoted April 2012
    Elise ·
    • Flag

    I take after my old buddy, Thumper. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

    But if they're receptive to constructive criticism, I find a way to go about it nicely.

    • Reply
  • Kerri
    Super July 2011
    Kerri ·
    • Flag

    I do the same! Once in a while I'll give an alternate suggestion, but usually I just don't respond. I just assume the person is going to do what they like anyway.

    • Reply
  • Yardiegirl
    Master September 2012
    Yardiegirl ·
    • Flag

    If I see something I don't like, I just don't comment. If the vibe changes, I'll say exactly how I feel but I don't want to throw cold water on someone who bought their dream dress or loves their wedding colors or spent all night making a centerpiece just because it's not my taste. That wouldn't be nice to them. Everyone is different.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Jaclyn Willson
    Master April 2012
    Mrs. Jaclyn Willson ·
    • Flag

    I think everyone has a different opnion, and those people commenting maybe really think it looks great.

    Most of the time I don't say anything at all, if I don't like it. If I feel I have something helpful, and constructive to say to "HELP" this person, then I will but still say it the nicest way I can.

    Other than that, I usually say nothing at all. Just being honest.

    • Reply
  • Julie B
    Master May 2012
    Julie B ·
    • Flag

    I really haven't seen too much here that didn't impress me as far as brides themes and DIY projects go. Of course everyone has their own taste, but I think all the girls do a wonderful job bringing their visions to life. I have seen a few weddings that are not anything like I would personally want, but it was important and special to the bride and groom to do it their way, and I think they have all done a great job. I have seen a few dresses that do not look good on some girls, but unless they give us a choice, I don't usually say anything. There is one bride in particular that posted pics of four different dresses the other day. One was a stand out and looked like it was made for her. The others all looked much too mature for her cute young face and figure. So I sent her a pm telling her what I thought and why. She replied with a very nice pm herself, thanking me for my input. Cont...

    • Reply
  • Bradley
    Dedicated October 2013
    Bradley ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Elise M. and Kerri F. If I see something I just don't say anything. Now if they ask what would you change, then I'd be more apt to offer what I might change.

    • Reply
  • ***Harold and Quita***
    VIP September 2011
    ***Harold and Quita*** ·
    • Flag

    Ditto to Elise M. statement.

    • Reply
  • Juliette S
    Master February 2012
    Juliette S ·
    • Flag

    Yep..what Elise said. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder too. So there may be things I find lovely that others don't and vice versa. If it's a style/taste thing, I usually just pass on by. A construction issue (if I can help) I try to help with.

    • Reply
  • Nicole Keesler
    November 2019
    Nicole Keesler ·
    • Flag

    I think that for the most part when people ask for an opinion on something, they really just want you to agree with them and affirm that what they like is great to others too. If I don't really want an opinion, I will not ask.

    • Reply
  • Glenn
    Master February 2012
    Glenn ·
    • Flag

    The few times I've been truly brutally honest I've gotten flagged and warning emails from the WW staff so now I just don't comment if I think something sucks.

    • Reply
  • Angel
    Devoted October 2012
    Angel ·
    • Flag

    I agree with everyone. I'd rather not say. I wouldn't comment that I liked it/it's nice if I did not like it.

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super December 2011
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    If I see something I dont like I dont say nothing..I dont feel like its my place especially if they dont ask for my 2 cents.

    • Reply
  • Julie B
    Master May 2012
    Julie B ·
    • Flag

    ...cont I feel if something may be taken as criticism or be interpreted as hurtful by mistake, I feel better sending a private message.

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Super June 2012
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    I think constructive criticism should be appreciated, especially if someone is asking for your opinion. People need to keep in mind that personal tastes vary.

    There are plenty of things I've seen on WW and other places that I personally would never, ever use myself but it might fit the person's individual sense of style.

    If it was a DIY project that turned out less than spectacular I might offer some help as someone who loves DIY projects (tips on adhesives, crafting materials, etc...) but I generally try to keep positive. If anything I might send a PM so the person doesn't feel like they were embarassed in a public forum.

    Just my two cents :-)

    • Reply
  • Angela
    Super September 2012
    Angela ·
    • Flag

    Unless they actually ASK I keep my thoughts to myself.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Master October 2017
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    This is a great topic, Cydney.

    I think honesty is generally the best option. However, I'll also say that there is a nice way to give an honest critique. For instance, saying "Hmm, have you tried doing it (this) way?" or "I think maybe (this color) or (this color) would be a better option" or "It's not my taste, but I'm glad you like it!" .... as opposed to 'That sucks' or 'that's ugly' or 'How could you possibly think that's a good idea/option/project?!'

    I think CONSTRUCTIVE feedback is the key here. Offering your opinion versus putting someone else down. You don't have to diminish one person's viewpoint just because you think differently.

    Sometimes another user will have a completely opposing taste than we do (actually, this will happen often! That's what makes this forum so great!) --- something that we think is just awful and would never fit in a wedding, is exactly what they want for their theme.

    • Reply
  • Cydney J (Cydney M)
    Master October 2011
    Cydney J (Cydney M) ·
    • Flag

    @Julie R. see that's the thing...there have been a couple of different postings about dresses where I though...wow, that doesn't look good on her at all. But they've already purchased the dress...so I typically just pass and don't say a thing. But I'll tell you what, if my dress didn't look good on me...I would have wanted someone to speak up, but that's my opinion.

    I do agree with others...beauty is within the eye of the beholder. So numerous times when it comes to DIY things or centerpieces that aren't my taste, I won't judge or say a thing.

    @Nicole K ... I also agree with you, I think when people ask what others think, they are looking for them to like or agree with them.

    • Reply
  • MrsHarris
    Super March 2012
    MrsHarris ·
    • Flag

    I just dont say anything, ESPECIALLY if they dont ask for opinions and are really excited about it. i figure its their wedding if thats what they like then all power to them.

    however if they do ask for opinions, i'll give one if i have one.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Master October 2017
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    @Julie R - I think you said it perfectly! I should've read your post before submitting my own Smiley smile

    & @FutureMrsHarris - I agree - that's a great way to approach this.

    • Reply
  • Private User
    VIP October 2022
    Private User ·
    • Flag

    I skip a lot of threads after reading or seeing what is on it. When I just do not have something nice to say, I do not post for the most part.

    • Reply

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