Arlene
Devoted March 2020

help from those who already had ceremonies

Arlene, on November 7, 2018 at 8:14 PM Posted in Married Life 0 11
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Hi everyone,


I see and read alot of people stating that they invited 130 and only 60-70 came About 110 would RSVP and alot not show up.


My best friend I asked her for advice my MOH because she had a wedding in April however she said alot people showed up who said they did except for like 2. We want no more than 130 at our wedding 140 pushing it depending because we have like 20 kids in the wedding. How many should I invite just in case? Because we have people on stand by, should I just send the STDs a little earlier earlier followed by the wedding invites so if people decline or no responses I can have back up for the ones that do not come. I do not plan for any no shows but you never know!! We are paying per plate as it is platted style dinner and I do not want to waste any money that I do not need too.




Help and advice greatly appreciated!

11 Comments

  • augbride
    Super August 2018
    augbride ·
    • Flag
    I invited 81 and 79 rsvp yes and all of the 79 actually showed up. Do not invite more people than you can afford/the venue can hold and don’t send out a second round of invites because it is very rude.
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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
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    Got it but my thing is this, I am trying to prevent the possibility of what I have read. I plan to have 130. However If I invite 140 and give room for 10 not to come that is okay and it is okay if 10 are able to come as we can afford 140, I am saying what if my RSVPS are low. The last few posts I have read people had empty tables and I really do not want that. I do not plan to have people be no shows or decline and I guess I cannot help it but should I send out a few more maybe invite 150? We can afford it as well that was our original number. I just do not want to waste money, I rather pay a little more than pay for people not to show up.

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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    If your RSVPs are low then you celebrate with who is there and save a little money. There isn’t much you can do about the possibility of no shows. We had someone break up with her bf the week before the wedding, had a couple get in a car wreck and total their car the day before, and a few people got the flu. Stuff happens. Don’t invite more than you can afford if 100% attend and don’t send out invites early to certain people because that is rude. Every single persons wedding and RSVP rate is different.
    • Reply
  • Kayla
    September 2020
    Kayla ·
    • Flag
    Yeah have second string invites aren’t cool. We had 5 no shows. Don’t over purchase. Sometimes people don’t show and it’s not like you can call cousin Velma like Sarah didn’t show so you can come have dinner now lol. Keep your original plan and make adjustments based on your rsvps.
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  • Mrs. Sarantos
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. Sarantos ·
    • Flag
    If you want 130 you should probably invite 130. Some ppl will decline but I think it’s best to plan for everyone you invite.
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    There’s no way to plan for no shows because this completely depends on how your friends and family are about showing up when they say they will. We only had 32 declines and 2 no shows- almost half our declines were single people who chose not to bring a plus one. When I married exH, 110 rsvpd yes out of 150 (20 no RSVPs were his family from across the country) and 110 came.
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  • Mrs. Araj
    Expert August 2018
    Mrs. Araj Online ·
    • Flag

    You know your family and friends the best. You can probably determine right of the bat if some will come and some won't. But do not invite more than your ceremony space can hold or you can afford. We invited about 110. We had 65 RSVP. We knew most of the people that said no would not be able to make it because they would have to travel. We had one person come that RSVP'd no, one ask to be added the week of the wedding, 3 say no the week of the wedding, and 2 adults plus 2 kids come for the ceremony but not stay for dinner. Our numbers were pretty much where we expected them to be. But everyone's family and friends are different. You could have a 100% of your guests RSVP yes. You never know. Please don't send out second string invites though. That is rude and can upset those who receive them.

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  • Tammy
    Super October 2018
    Tammy ·
    • Flag

    Agree with PP invite only the number of people you can afford. Don't plan for a % of declines because if you can only afford 140 then only invite 140, don't expect that out of that you you end up with 20 declines so you actually send out 160 invites because then 160 *could* accept then you'd be stuck.

    I usually am not 100% with how things 'should' be done but don't have a back up list. People will know if they are on that list by getting an invite much later then people it's just super tacky imo.

    Invite who you can afford and enjoy the people that show up!

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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    Every single person that we thought would say yes to our wedding did, in fact, RSVP yes. Everyone showed except for 1 who had a medical emergency.

    Honestly I see it on this website what you're taking about - weddings with a lot of no shows - but I've literally never seen that in my real life.

    Do not over invite because of potential no shows - what are you going to do if everyone that said yes does come? (which they should, because they RSVPd yes!)

    Side note: having "stand by" invitations is pretty rude. Invite people or don't, but don't base it on if someone else can't go. How would you feel if you knew you were only invited to a wedding because someone important enough to get the first round of invites declined?

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  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
    • Flag

    My thing is of standby;s is this.

    How would one know they are getting invites after everyone else?

    We can afford 150 as that was our original, so if we do get declines we have no problem paying over then paying for people who do not show up. I rather get my moneys worth.

    I think you guys are misinterpreting what I am saying. HOW WOULD ONE KNOW they are second string?

    We are pretty private with our lives as far as our wedding anyone who would get "second string invites" are people who wouldn't even know they are second string. How would they know?

    I am saying if someone RSVPS to me faster with declines why not send out the other invites right then and there is what I am saying.


    Thank you all for your advice, we have decided to invite the amount of people we originally wanted which is 150 and the venue can hold up to 325 so we are fine in that aspect. We decided if all RSVP yes than GREAT and if the ones who do not and it goes lower then atleast we will have the amount we had wanted.



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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Wedding invitations typically go out 6-8 weeks before a wedding with an RSVP date of 2-4 weeks before. If your second string people receive their invite a week before the RSVP date and it’s a month or less until you’re wedding, they’re going to know they were invited late in the game.
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