I have his ex's wedding date?!
So as it turns out, YES, DF did pick the exact same day for our wedding that he had picked for his and CEF (Cheating Ex Fiancee)

I mentioned this to F-MIL and she thought it was odd that we had so many similarities. I was able to find out that not only was it the same day BUT ALSO same location, same theme, and same wedding colors.

....

I raised hell. If there was ever a time I felt like a justified bridezilla, it was yesterday.
I'm not her replacement or substitution and there is no way in HELL i am going to mirror what they planned together. RAWR I have no clue how im going to adjust this considering i love everything we planned so far.

He just lost all say in the wedding planning and he knows it.

Married: 08/17/2013
Posted On: Dec 17, 2012 at 9:48 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Mrs. Simmons
Married: 04/13/2013
Dec 17, 2012 at 9:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
:/ Oh wow. I would be pissed to say the least. Probably wouldn't be so inclined to just jump into a marriage with someone who was just trying to use me as a replacement.

Married: 07/27/2012
Reviews: 8
Dec 17, 2012 at 9:56 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
That is really messed up! Just out of curiosity how long ago did he break things off with the CEF?

Amy A.
Married: 08/31/2013
Reviews: 5
Dec 17, 2012 at 9:58 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh my.

Lizz M.
Married: 03/02/2013
Reviews: 8
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wow... that is extremely messed up. I would also like to know how long it has been since the biznatch left his life? Have you tried talking to him about his reasons why?

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FMIL thought that was ODD? There is an understatement of the century.

Married: 07/05/2013
Reviews: 4
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I probably would've flipped out if that happen to me. Sorry you are going through it.
Wondering how you found out? Maybe I should ask FH what date he married his ex...oh sh*t now you have me thinking....

Latisha
Wedding: 09/27/2014
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's a major issue. I would be asking him why he is trying to copycat his ex? Did he just really like those ideas or is he really not over the situation? Either way somebody has some explaining to do.

Married: 05/11/2013
Reviews: 6
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wtf. How long has he been out of that relationship? It may not be the case - but it sounds like he may not be over it yet.

Married: 08/17/2013
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
They split about five years ago and we've been together for almost 3 but he STILL has issues with her and refuses to go anywhere he might run into her.

>:( Im about ready to put the whole thing on hold until he gets over her and moves the hell on. I understand he lost his V to her and she put him through hell.

BUT HELLO?! I picked up the pieces and supported him throughout his entire military career. Im freaking pregnant with his child. One would assume Id be abit higher on his priority list than a CEF he hasnt spoken to in years.

RayRay
Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 5
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wow, I would definitely pump the brakes on this one. If he refuses to go anywhere that she may be, he's obviously not over it completely. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, especially while carrying his child..

Lizz M.
Married: 03/02/2013
Reviews: 8
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wow Rayne. Just... wow. I can't imagine being in your situation and I'm sorry you have to be, especially while you are pregnant.

Mrs. Wilson
Married: Recently Married
Reviews: 3
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would as well say don't rush things

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm really sorry, Rayne. But this is a much bigger issue than the wedding.

Married: 08/17/2013
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:15 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Im trying to be understanding and calm about all of this. After all I was in an abusive relationship for a while before I met him, and it took a while for me to get past the damage done. I know its not something you just 'forget'

I just cant get 'unmad'! When we first started dating we talked and I thought we worked past CEF. He never brought her up again and we were fine. If it wasnt the fact that his sister mentioned the similar wedding date I wouldnt have even known.
I confronted him about it and he denied it wanting to know where i got that idea. Ok, thats fine, maybe F-SIL was mistaken.
Then he calls me back later that night and apologizes, saying he realized that he unconsciously picked the same month and felt terrible.
I asked him what else was similar. pretty much every thing he said he wanted in the wedding.

awesome.

RayRay
Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 5
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:20 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Now my gears started turning.

It didn't matter WHO I was marrying, there are many things about the wedding I dreamed of having that would have been the same. Big, beautiful church, white ballgown, pink colors etc, etc. Just because he wanted certain things doesn't mean it had anything to do with her. It's possible, so that's up to you to find out.

On the other hand, the part of him actually taking time to consider if she would be places before he decides to go just to avoid her... that's not healthy. The way I always knew I was over an ex was to see them and not feel a thing. Not hate, sadness, longing, nothing. Peace. That's the real problem here, IMO.

Just talk with him and be careful not to jump to conclusions. I think there are many ways this situation could go, but that's between y'all.

Candice B.
Married: 07/07/2013
Reviews: 7
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:27 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
OH, HELL TO THE NOOOOO!! OMG! I just want to hug you right now! I'm sorry you have to go through this, especially while you're preggers. But that is NOT OK!! and I agree with Mrs. S, this issue is much bigger.

Wedding: 08/15/2015
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Mrs. S. as well. He has lost his damn mind. He needs to get his priorities in check!

Married: 05/18/2013
Reviews: 6
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:51 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Rayy_chull: there are things about my wedding that I would have wanted regardless of who I was marrying. You definitely have every right to be upset, but I'd take a step back and think about each thing individually.

Location, theme, colors, wedding date. Is the location a church or another place that holds special importance? If so, I wouldn't worry about that. I've definitely heard of people getting married in the same place twice. Theme and colors: is your theme very specific and/or personal to him?

I would be a little concerned about the situation with the ex. I have two ex-BFs who I don't voluntarily see. One I haven't spoken to in nearly four years. The other I haven't seen in 1.5 years, but I'm good friends with his brother and SIL so I know that I will. If I can avoid seeing them, I do. If I can't avoid seeing them (like if I go to a party where I know one will be--which has happened), I grin and bear it. If he can't do that, then there could be issues.

BethBlue1115
Married: Recently Married
Reviews: 3
Dec 17, 2012 at 10:56 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wait - was it the same day, or just the same month? If just the same month, well that's not as bad as the same day. Question - how many of these similar details were ideas HE came up with, vs. what you suggested and he just went with it? Not that's I'm downplaying what happened, because I would be furious as well, but if he just agreed with some of these similarities, but you picked them out, then its possible he just wanted you to be happy and have the wedding you want, and the rest is just a coincidence. But if these were things he really really wanted, I'd have a conversation about WHY he chose them.

Iris
Married: Recently Married
Dec 17, 2012 at 11:01 AM • 
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