Frugal Gator
Master May 2016

Frugal Gator got married! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!

Frugal Gator, on May 16, 2016 at 12:17 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 112
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I know a lot of BAMs include the OP talking about how their wedding day was the "best day of my life," and while I loved my wedding day, I'm not sure that I would classify it that way. My goal is to make this the most helpful and real BAM ever. For those who don't care about the specifics, I enumerated my advice at the end.

Days Before

FH left for Florida a full week before the wedding for his brother's graduation. I stayed in Maryland until the Wednesday before the wedding to go to a friend's wedding and move my stuff to our apartment. Monday, while I in the middle of packing, I get a call from the DJ. He wants to talk about the wedding, which is great because I hadn't talked to him since September. We discuss a few things, and then I start to realize that he never got the updates to our DJ planning form. He explains that his business name changed and that's why he didn't get it. OK, I guess I can forward you the copy that I got sent.

Continued in the comments

112 Comments

  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    DJ tells me he's currently working at his day job as a courier, so if I could text him my email address, he can email me with his new work email address. The other possibility, he says, is that I could wait for him to look up my email address, but since he's busier than me (yes, he actually said those words to a bride 3 days before her wedding), the former would be faster. I agreed to text him my email address. On Tuesday, I get an email from him with a word doc that he's created using the survey I forwarded to him. The schedule is completely wrong: Order of events is wrong, times are wrong for the things that are in the right place, and the end time is an hour later than it is. I email him that the schedule is incorrect and asking why he couldn't just copy and paste the schedule I sent him. Wednesday morning, as I'm trying to finish packing up to head to the airport, he calls me again to ask how his schedule could possibly be wrong. I explain that the schedule he sent me doesn't match the schedule I sent him (DUH!). He tells me how he's been doing this for 20 years and has never had this problem with a bride before (like this is my fault?!?!). I gave him the example of the end time being wrong since it's the only one I could think of off the top of my head. He was like "Oh, that's a really easy fix." Dude, that's not the only problem with the schedule. Can you please just compare the two yourself because I'm trying to get out the door right now? (I said it nicer though.) He keeps talking about how he doesn't understand, so I finally drop everything and pull up the two schedules on my tablet so I can give him another example. DJ's schedule has the cake cutting right after dinner, we wanted it after the bouquet and garter tosses. That's when he finally goes "Oh, really? You didn't want it right after dinner?" Did he even read the schedule I sent him? He agrees to work on the schedule again, and we hang up.

    I get to my FILs Wednesday afternoon, and they hosted a bunch of family and friends (18 of us total) at their house that night since everyone was coming in from out-of-town and wanted to see them. I worked on getting the personalized schedules out to the bridal party and family (I had done it, but hadn't sent them out yet) so I ended up being up late. Half-way through, I get another email from the DJ with the updated schedule...still wrong. The worst part was the cake cutting, the specific example I gave him, was still right after dinner. At 1am, I edit his stupid form to have the correct schedule and send it back to him. This guy clearly doesn't know how to copy and paste. Thursday morning, he emails back that he can't open the file so I have to redo the form and send it again. This time, he can open it. Thank goodness!

    Right after breakfast, FH and I left for Gainesville (2 hours from his parents' house) to keep working on wedding stuff. On the way there, we talked to my parents who had gotten there the day before. They gave us 2 pieces of bad news: 1) there's major construction at the main intersection between our ceremony venue and reception venue/hotel where everyone's staying, and 2) the hotel's pool was closed by the health department and won't be open the whole weekend. Great!

    In Gainesville, we got lunch, rearranged the church, got our marriage license, and then I went for my hair and make-up trial. We didn't see each other for the rest of the day. After my mom and I got back to the hotel to try the veil, which I had forgotten, with my wedding hair style, I realize the veil had yellowed. I had made over my mom's veil (including tea dyeing) and then put it in a box for her to bring with her to the wedding. The lack of air made it yellow to the point where it looked horrible with my dress. We tried a bunch of different ideas to fix it, including making a late night trip to CVS to buy Oxi-Clean. The oxi-clean worked! Yay! Veil looked great with the hair style. After that, I had to fill out the videographer's survey because he basically completely forgot to send it to me. He finally gave me the contact information for the guy who would actually be filming our wedding (I found out 1 month before the wedding would be an employee of the guy we hired instead of him, and then 2 days before the wedding would not be the 2nd guy either because he quit, it would be another company all together).

    On Friday, FH and I worked separately getting more wedding stuff done. Rehearsal was at 4pm, and pretty much everyone was late because of the construction. I started to panic a little because I thought everyone would be late to the wedding too. Rehearsal started off a little rocky, but we got it by the 2nd run-through. I know rehearsals aren't necessary, but it really helps figure out the flow of things and where things should happen. In our case, we got married at a church that doesn't really do weddings, so the rehearsal was extremely helpful. The welcome dinner was great, but as with the rest of the wedding weekend, FH and I spent very little time together. We ended up at different tables and socialized separately most of the night because we were being pulled in different directions. After the dinner, he went out with friends, and I went back to the hotel to finish up wedding details.

    Wedding Day

    I slept well the night before, and so I woke up on time, got breakfast with my bridesmaids, and then went upstairs to call the videographer (still hadn't talked to him ever) and shower. Hair and make-up showed up 20 minutes late, but made up the time. I drove myself to the church in my wedding dress which made for some humorous moments. Right after I got to the church, I got my veil out of the bag and went to put it on, only to realize it was almost glowing. I guess we didn't do a good enough job rinsing off the oxi clean, so it had continued to whiten. Crap! It looked so bad with the dress, I made the decision to not wear a veil on my wedding day Smiley sad I knew if I had worn it, all I would see when I looked at the pictures would be the mismatched veil.

    The first look was not quite the moment I hoped it would be, but I'm still glad we did it. FH was so concerned about how he was supposed to react at the first look that he basically didn't react at all. Next was formal pictures, which could not have been timed more perfectly, despite the bridesmaids showing up late (I found out later than one of their dresses broke and they were trying to fix it) and some of my extended family being late (we just did that family later).

    The ceremony was perfect. I was all smiles until I got to the front of the aisle and saw FH was teary and our officiant was too. I lost it, but fortunately had a few moments til the end of the processional song to get it together. FH's reaction to me walking down the aisle was perfect, the readings were perfect, the homily was perfect (and made me cry again), the break in FH's voice as he said his vows was perfect (and made me cry again), and the kiss was perfect. If people were late, I didn't notice. It was the best ceremony I've even been to, and while I realize that I'm probably biased, I still tried very hard to be objective.

    The reception wasn't perfect, but I still had fun. Everything was a little late because guests stopped off at their rooms between, so we had to delay our entrance. The DJ sped up our first dance song without asking us about it. The food was good, and we didn't run out of alcohol! It took longer than I expected to get through all the table greetings. The DJ started the anniversary dance without making sure if me and my husband were around (I had gone outside to encourage guests to come dance), so I went in when I realized what song was playing and he was already at 5 years or more. No anniversary dance for us. I felt like DH and I again didn't get to spend a lot of time together. I was on the dance floor a lot, and he was socializing with the people who didn't dance. My dad's speech was awesome! The DJ yelled "damn it" into the mike at one point and then tried to play it off like he was doing an impression from Top Gun. Before people started requesting songs, the DJ was playing really awful music. He also didn't play the one song that DH requested in our paperwork (there's no way he read any of the stuff we wrote). The cake was delicious, although I didn't get to eat much of it. I had to remind the DJ that he needed to play our last dance song or else he would have kept going with requests.

    After we left, apparently multiple after-parties formed. I kinda wish we could've gone, but we had more important things to get to Smiley winking

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  • MrsLaurenET
    Master September 2016
    MrsLaurenET ·
    • Flag

    YAYYY! Pictures NOWWW!

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    Advice

    1. Don't move the week before your wedding. I had bruises and scratches all over my legs and a few on my arms. Fortunately, my dress covered them, but I still wore shorts and tank tops that week and the week after, and it didn't look good. Also, not a good look the first time your DH sees you naked.

    2. If you hire a vendor that employs other people, make sure you get a chance to talk to the ones that will actually be at YOUR wedding instead of just the business owner. I spoke to our videographer for the first time the morning of the wedding. It was unneeded stress.

    3. Meet your DJ ahead of time. This was a hard one for us since we were planning from 1,000 miles away. I knew the first time I met him that I didn't like him, and he ended up being completely incompetent. We had a good time despite him, but I wonder how much better it would have been if we'd had a good DJ.

    4. Have a rehearsal.

    5. Compare your veil to your dress in both artificial and natural lighting. It makes a difference!

    6. If you are dyeing or bleaching your veil, make sure to give it several good rinses so the color stops changing. Don't store it in a box, store it wear it can breathe.

    7. Make an effort to not let your guests separate you and your spouse. I feel the the #1 thing that would have made the reception the better is if DH and I would have experienced it together. By the time we left on our honeymoon, I missed him.

    8. Uplighting during a reception that's prior to sunset is a waste. Sunset was at 8:30pm, reception ended at 9pm. We should've used that money on a better DJ.

    9. And in case I haven't mentioned this enough....get the best DJ you can!

    • Reply
  • Reese
    Master July 2015
    Reese ·
    • Flag

    I don't care that I've seen pictures on FB, I'm still waiting not so patiently for more! Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    Onto the pictures!

    1. My dress

    2. First look

    3. DH and I Gator chompin'




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  • Fiona
    Master December 2015
    Fiona ·
    • Flag

    Your DJ sounds terrible :-( I can't wait for your pictures!

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    I really just loved our picture location, so I'm posting a few of these just cause I love it so much

    1. DH and me

    2. Me and my bridesmaids

    3. The whole bridal party




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  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    1. More bridal party

    2. DH's reaction to me walking down the aisle

    3. Me walking down the aisle




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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
    • Flag

    YAY!! You look amazing and so happy! Congratulations!!!!

    ETA: Ok read through everything, I don't know how you survived but I'm glad you did. Holy goodness.

    • Reply
  • SoontobeMrsO
    Super May 2016
    SoontobeMrsO ·
    • Flag

    You looked absolutely beautiful!! Congratulations Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Reese
    Master July 2015
    Reese ·
    • Flag

    Aww, your husband's face while you're walking down the aisle! You look absolutely beautiful!

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    For the composite pics, descriptions are clockwise starting with the top-left

    1. Ceremony intro, readings, vows, and homily

    2. More vows, the kiss, and tying the knot

    3. Husband and wife!




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  • Yasmina
    Master November 2015
    Yasmina ·
    • Flag

    MOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG you look amazing.

    Sorry your DJ was so awful. Smiley sad

    I love how detailed your BAM is. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Jen D.
    VIP May 2017
    Jen D. ·
    • Flag

    Yay! Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    1. Empty reception venue

    2. Place cards and favors

    3. Our Publix cake with cake topper made by DH's dad




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  • OG Ruth
    Master October 2015
    OG Ruth ·
    • Flag

    Gorgeous!! Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
    • Flag

    So pretty! Congrats!

    • Reply
  • BookcaseHat
    Master July 2017
    BookcaseHat ·
    • Flag

    Gorgeous!! I love your flowers and everything looks so beautiful.

    • Reply
  • Frugal Gator
    Master May 2016
    Frugal Gator ·
    • Flag

    1. Reception entrances

    2. First dance

    3. Dad's toast, me laughing at my dad's toast, FIL's toast, MOH's toast




    • Reply
  • beautyofdreams
    VIP August 2016
    beautyofdreams ·
    • Flag

    Your pictures are beautiful and I'm glad you had the best ceremony ever! I'm sure it was super special!

    • Reply

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