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Mrs. Cohen
Super October 2018

Dumb rant - Photographer Social Media

Mrs. Cohen, on December 27, 2018 at 11:58 PM Posted in Married Life 0 24
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Okay, so I need to just vent about the dumbest thing ever, but it’s something that’s bothering me so here it goes...

Our wedding photographer was pure perfection. She not only took the most beautiful photographs of us, but she is just a wonderful human being and I felt that the three of us genuinely became friends.

BUT, she almost never shares our photos on social media and it makes me so sad. She’s super active on Instagram and posts almost daily. After our engagement session she only shared 2 photos of us and it kinda bothered me, but I let it go. Now, 2.5 months after our wedding, she’s done it again; only 2 photos of us. The other couples she works with, she posts photos of them constantly. We’re literally the only couple she never seems to share photos of. She even just posted a collage of photos of her year in review, and of course none of the 9 photos were of my husband and I.

I absolutely love our wedding photos, but her not sharing them makes me feel really sad, like maybe our day wasn’t as beautiful as we thought it was or maybe she just doesn’t want to share photos of a plus-size couple on her page (that’s my insecurity showing there since we’re definitely the largest couple she’s photographed). I know it’s so silly, but I can’t help but feel sad.

Please tell me someone else has experienced this and I’m not stupid crazy Smiley sad

24 Comments

  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
    • Flag
    You are not stupid crazy. I’m sorry that you feel snubbed by your photographer 📸 That’s got to be such a crappy feeling.
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
    • Flag
    Actually you may be right about the reason why. The main thing I looked for in a photographer when I viewed their portfolio was not just their quality but whether they posted plus sized couples. Surprisingly (or not) many if not most photographers I viewed did not. If I were you I would reach out to her and ask her. Especially if you had a good relationship. It would bother me too.
    • Reply
  • MissSoonToBe
    Expert May 2020
    MissSoonToBe ·
    • Flag
    First off you are not crazy! You have feelings which are valid. I would share with her how you feel and she what she says.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    A local photographer that I really like does weddings every single weekend, as I can see on their Snapchat and Instagram stories. I've noticed that they'll share much more of some weddings than others. While we were trying to choose photographers, we went through their tagged photos. I noticed that a lot of the weddings they didn't share much of just weren't their "style." The weddings they chose to share were all similar in theme. Maybe it's something similar?

    If you guys have a close relationship, I would bring it up. Doesn't hurt to put it out there and maybe it will make you feel better.

    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Master April 2019
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    It's funny that you're posting this, because our photographer is the same exact way. And I felt like a lunatic for feeling the same way you do. Ours posted a bunch of Christmas shoots she did, and we didn't even make the cut there. Lol sometimes I wonder if she's not even proud of the work she's done for us?

    • Reply
  • Audrey
    VIP June 2016
    Audrey ·
    • Flag

    Just to present another side, you said you love your photos, then what's it matter if your photographer shares them or not? You share them on your own. Whatever her deal is for not sharing as much as you'd like is her deal and has nothing to do with the end result of the photos you received.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    I hate the stigma against plus-size people, it is sad that wedding photographers seem to discriminate to a degree against those of us who aren't skinny. Maybe you're right though, I'll have to think about reaching out to her directly, it may make me feel better (hopefully).

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Although our photographer works on a lot of weddings that take place in a National or State park and are much smaller (20 guests or less), she also does more traditional style weddings like ours that she seems to share a lot of (although the park ones seem to get a tad more attention). So I feel like our wedding has a similar enough theme to others she shares, so not sure that could be it, but maybe?

    I think I'm going to draft up an email to send her way. I think it will make me feel better and since we have all of our photos back, it can't hurt to share my feelings with her.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    So glad to know someone feels the same way! That alone makes me feel a bit better. But I totally get that whole maybe they aren't proud of the work they've done, which just makes you feel even crappier lol ugh.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I know, it honestly shouldn't matter because I do love our photos so much, but for some reason it still bothers me, for reasons I don't even know.

    • Reply
  • Miranda
    Expert February 2019
    Miranda ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! I also don't think you're being dumb at all...I really pay attention to stuff like that as well and my fiance and I are both larger people so I can see how I could easily have these feelings too.

    Side note, I just went to your profile and looked at your photos and not only are they stunning, but you and your husband are a beautiful couple. Your day looked perfect!

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Super May 2019
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    I know what you mean. We got our engagement pictures back and I loved them! We included our furbaby in some of them (our photographer was obsessed with our dog) the only picture she posted of our session on her IG was the up close one of our dog with us blurred in the background!! She did eventually post 1 other picture of us, but yes I think that a lot of photographers try to keep their social media looking "consistent" and that means kind of only posting sessions that coordinate with their style and look if that makes sense. I would try not to take it too personal, although I definitely understand why you feel the way you do.

    • Reply
  • P
    Devoted October 2018
    persimonefink ·
    • Flag

    I had a similar issue with my HMUA. She had initially posted my trial photo and actual day of wedding photo. I looked amazing and she knew as did many of the likes/comments she got. I didn't tip her day of because she was late and made me late, so I figured I'd venmo her the tip after the wedding. By the time the ceremony was over my hair was already falling apart. I was UPSET. She texted me about a month or so afterwards checking in to see how it went and I told her my frustration. But her messages were AWKWARD. I didn't know how to respond right away so I gave it a few hours to think of a polite way to tell her my hair didn't make it through the night and before I had a chance to respond she messages me again in paragraphs about how FINE she wishes me well-- all because I didn't reply quick enough. At this point I'd also gotten my pictures back and you could tell my hair was not holding up so I decided between her attitude and the failed work there was no point in a tip. I did let her know the makeup help up but was disappointing about the hair and she claimed my hair piece/veil combo was probably too heavy, which she never mentioned while getting me ready or during the trial so it was too much bs for my liking. I paid her almost $800 total so I don't even feel bad about the lack of tip.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
    • Flag

    The universe must have known how bummed I was, because before I even got a chance to talk to our photographer, she happened to share 2 of our wedding photos on her Instagram Story this morning and then moments ago the bridal boutique where I found my dress shared a photo from my wedding on their page! haha Smiley smile Feeling much happier now

    • Reply
  • HayMrsO
    Master October 2018
    HayMrsO ·
    • Flag

    I am so sorry! I do not think you are crazy. We are bigger people as well. Our photographer did post our pics, just as she posted other engagement/weddings. If she had not have done that, I would feel the same way you do. I did notice that the pic of ours that made her "top 9" was the one of our rings. But that has nothing to do with her, more with the number of "likes" the pics received from her followers.

    Social media is such a double edged sword. Maybe having a chat with her about your feelings will make her think a bit more about how things are perceived.

    • Reply
  • J
    Devoted April 2020
    J ·
    • Flag
    Idk if anyone else said this but maybe she just felt like she didn’t do her best work? People are really hard on themselves and maybe when she was looking back at your pics and she wishes she did a couple things differently and she isn’t proud of her work and doesn’t want to advertise something that she isn’t proud of? I’d hope to god it has nothing to do with plus size so I’d like to believe she just isn’t proud of herself. I’m sure your pics are amazing but, again, people are hard on themselves. There will be days when I feel really ugly in an outfit or like my hair turned out awful and people will say how cute it is and I’m like “um no” even though everyone else says it looks good. Hopefully she’s just being too hard on herself! I’m sure your pics are beautiful!
    • Reply
  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
    • Flag

    You are not stupid crazy at all!!!

    Our photographer hasn't shown ours and she does every shoot and it has me wondering why not and I felt crazy myself so yes to answer your question I feel that way..we are planning to get a new photographer anyway so I keep telling myself maybe just maybe she didn't like the photos like we did but then again they are all not bad and are beautiful but she hasn't shown not 1 of ours.


    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    As a client who spent thousands of dollars for photography, I would certainly hope our photographer was proud of the work she did for our wedding day, and if she wasn't, I'd really hope she wouldn't make her dislike for her own work so obvious. But who knows, you might be right, perhaps she's just being hard on herself for the work she put out on our wedding day.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Cohen
    Super October 2018
    Mrs. Cohen ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Glad to know I'm not alone in this feeling, but geez I'm so sorry you're having this experience with your photographer! It totally sucks when they won't even share 1 image, it kind of takes the excitement away. I hope whatever new photographer you find is better for you and is proud to show off the photos of you and your husband to be Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Arlene
    Devoted March 2020
    Arlene ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!! and honestly your photos were amazing and like I said before that venue is to die for!!!

    My photographer now doesnt go on social media too much so I am not to worried but I noticed past sessions she uploads, she hasnt uploaded anything since few days before we did our shoot so maybe later she will who knows? and yes the one we want to hire will be our old photographer who uploaded us before or a family friend who is amazing. So we will see which way we go, but don't worry your photos were amazing!!!!!

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