Beginner October 2018

Date already picked

Taylor, on February 13, 2018 at 4:35 PM Posted in Planning 0 18
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Weird question...my fiancé and I got engaged on December 21st 2017 and we picked the date of our wedding the day after. We have already told everyone that date and posted our engagement pictures with the date included in a few shots. My step-cousin and her fiancé got engaged a couple of weeks ago. I’m a little nervous she might pick that date without realizing and I didn’t know if it was weird to message her something? I don’t want to come off as rude or anything, but I’m being overly cautious and don’t want anything to happen 😂😅


  • Melissa
    Expert October 2018
    Melissa ·
    Do you already have your venue booked? If not, it could change. Otherwise I wouldn't worry about it. What are the chances? Is the date significant to your family?
  • Candace
    Expert April 2018
    Candace ·
    Maybe say "congratulations! Have you thought of a date yet?" Make it about them.
  • Bethyonce
    Master February 2015
    Bethyonce ·

    I wouldn't worry about that. If they aren't even considering that time frame and you send her a message, you will come off as overbearing.

    Were you able to secure a venue with the date you chose? Generally, you go by the dates that the venue has available.

  • Officiallymrsj
    Super October 2018
    Officiallymrsj ·
    I agree with PPs you shouldn’t start telling anyone of a date until you have a venue picked ... but I would ask her what she’s thinking if it worries you that much, I see nothing wrong with tbat
  • Powers2
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
    Is your venue booked, or is this just a date you’d like to get married ?
  • Marissa
    Expert August 2019
    Marissa ·
    Until you have a venue you do not have a date. But just have a conversation if you are close, something like just want to make sure our families can enjoy both of our days.
  • T
    Beginner October 2018
    Taylor ·
    We have the venue booked. I don’t know when she’s planning on getting married, I just know fall is popular and I want us each to have our own special day. I know this is probably silly to worry about 🙈😂
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·

    If you already have your venue booked for October, then I probably would reach out and let her know the date, and you just want to make sure there's no conflict so your family doesn't have to choose sides. Make it about your family, not about you, and I'm sure she'll appreciate the head's up. October is one of the most popular months to get married in right now, so it's not crazy to think that she could end up booking for then too.

  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    I got engaged around the same time my cousin did. I just asked her what time of year she and her now husband were thinking about getting married, in the interest of making sure we weren't thinking about the same time of year. They were thinking fall, and we we're thinking late winter/early spring. No big deal. I'd just reach out to congratulate her and ask if they've thought about when they'd like to get married. She'll tell you if they've talked about that, yet, and will likely then ask you, and you can tell her the when you're shooting for.

    I would, however, consider that your date is not set in stone until you have a venue booked. What if none are available on the date you'd like to get married? I'd hold off on telling people you've set a date until you actually have a venue booked.
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    View Quoted Comment

    She already said she does have the venue booked

  • Victoria
    VIP February 2018
    Victoria ·
    I wouldn’t worry about it, but if you do just go the route Candace suggested! I’m sure your shared family would let her know what your date was if she tried to pick it.
  • Powers2
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·

    Send out save the dates asap,

  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
    I wouldn’t worry about it. You booked your venue first so it’s up to her to check her potential date with VIPs and family. I’m sure someone would say when your date is
  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah, I didn't type fast enough. Oh well.
  • Brianna
    VIP May 2018
    Brianna ·

    I wouldn't worry about it. Odds are someone else she talks to knows your date and would say something if she was leaning towards then. Otherwise, you could follow some PPs advice and casually reach out to congratulate her.

    That being said, I was in the same position as you... worrying about one of FH's cousins picking our date even though they got engaged five months after us. Didn't pick our date, but they did end up picking 2 weeks before us .

  • ValleyBride
    Dedicated June 2018
    ValleyBride ·
    I don’t think I’d worry about it too much.. but send out your save the dates as soon as possible.
  • Jaci
    Expert April 2018
    Jaci ·
    I had like 5 cousins get engaged so I got on sending out Save the Dates. My cousin’s fiancé totally forgot about when our wedding but luckily they set their six weeks after ours which is no problem. I do feel bad for my brother- our 1 cousin set her date the weekend right before his!
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·

    Could you message her your congratulations, say something about how exciting it is to plan a wedding and then mention that you and FH are getting married October XX and can't wait for the date to arrive?

    Make it friendly and don't phrase it in a manner that she will think you are warning her off a date.

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