Candi
Super September 2024

Cutting the guests. How do i convince him?

Candi, on November 13, 2018 at 3:25 AM Posted in Planning 0 8
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My DH wants an intimate renewal but his list is about 4 times mine. He wants his entire family invited even though half have blocked him on facebook due to politics. There are about 10 people from the family he has spoken to in 2 years. I only plan to invite a few friends and 2 siblings and my dad. Total 15 people with our 3 kids. He is upset over size and costs but how do I get through to him that he over invited for our renewal without making him feel horrible?

8 Comments

  • Cynthia's and Robert  Wedding Day
    VIP September 2020
    Cynthia's and Robert Wedding Day ·
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    I would only invite family members that have been in communication through out the years.
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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    I’d just have a frank conversation and explain that fewer guests = lower costs. I would say that if he wants to invite his side of the family that he should really consider the cost, especially since he doesn’t talk to them. I wouldnt tell him no, but you can look at the situation and prices together and offer your opinion. Can you break the cost down per a guest to show him exactly how much all these relatives he doesn’t speak to will end up costing? That’s what I would do! Then let him make the decision - he can’t complain about the price if he wants to include them knowing the cost.
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  • A
    Master October 2019
    Angelena ·
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    Especially for a renewal I would definitely have a talk with him about the costs and eliminating the people he has not held close contact with. I think for a renewal the "rules" are definitely different. My FH was not going to invite his two half sisters and their husbands/kids to our wedding and I said that was kind of rude since they are family whether they talk often or not. But for an intimate renewal, as long as his family was there the first time around, it does not seem necessary to appease everyone, especially those who have parted ways!

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  • Candi
    Super September 2024
    Candi ·
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    At the cost of over $300 per guest it is about $6,400 more to include people who told him to go to hell. I would never expect any invitation from a person I was horrible to and refused to be in the presence of at family functions. I think I will have a frank discussion and pray he sees this is not an attack on him or his family.

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  • N
    Expert August 2019
    N ·
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    $300/pp?! Have a serious talk with him. Show him what your side is coming up to and have him calculate his. Look at your budget. Things are a little easier to see once they are in writing in front of your face.
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  • Candi
    Super September 2024
    Candi ·
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    Yes more than $300 pp because we are covering everything for a DW.

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  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
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    Go back to the drawing board, examine your budget. Divide by pp costs, and that is your guest list. Split that down the middle. If that's 15 minus your 3 kids, then 12 guests means 6 each. And he can choose whoever he wants for his 6. Are you counting yourselves? For my wedding, they made sure to remind us to include FH and I in the count. I think a lot of people just forget or might assume they are comped.

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  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
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    If it's more important (for him) to have those people there, maybe you should consider having a local wedding (or even just a reception) to include them. I mean, personally I woudn't care, but he seems to, so...

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