Competing Venues/vendors

I don’t think asking a bride for that is a professional thing, it would make me feel uneasy to share a proposal with a different venue. Is it the venue you’re going with?
The only thing that happened to me was when we decided not to pick a venue they asked which venue I ended up choosing instead, and even that I thought was none of their business.

View Quoted Comment It’s a venue that is in my top 2 list but we have a better proposal from another one. In order to come closer to that, the person at the venue asked to see the proposal. I don’t know how to politely decline.

View Quoted Comment Ohhhh gotcha I did not understand it that way haha sorry. Why do you say the other proposal is better? Is it a price per person? Is it what they have included?
Would you be open to going with this venue if they come down on price or give you more? If so, I would tell them exactly what makes you want to go with the other venue instead and maybe they can offer you the same things so you can sign with them. I still wouldn’t share the actual proposal document with them but it’s actually pretty neat that they’re open to negotiations with you since you could get a better deal, if you’re very into that venue

If you’re the one asking for a better deal from them based on a deal you received from another venue, it is perfectly reasonable for them to ask to see that deal. Since you’re asking them to match that pricing, for all they know you could’ve just made that pricing up lol. It’s very reasonable for them to want to see it to confirm that’s actually what the other venue is charging

View Quoted Comment Yeah, this. If you had just reached out to ask for a proposal and before giving you anything they said “what else ya got?” that would be weird and ethics definitely a little fishy. But if you’re negotiating and trying them to come down on prices because you’re looking at better offers, that’s not weird at all. Typical of any price match guarantee store, you have to show the better pricing you’ve found. You’re absolutely within your right not to show them other proposals, but in that case I wouldn’t expect them to come down on any pricing (also within their right). To be honest I don’t know of venues really coming down on pricing of things— we “negotiated” to get things to better fit our budget, but mostly that was cutting an item or a service here or there to bring the overall cost down. So it’s possible they’d want to see the proposals to see if there are items missing that they’d then know you wouldn’t mind cutting, or for them to point out why their service is better and they can’t come down on a thing, or, of course just to know you’re not making numbers up— I’m sure you’re not , but if they just blindly trusted every client’s numbers they’d be in a tough spot , especially if those clients were comparing apples to oranges in terms of service levels.

If you're asking them to match that proposal, it's only fair to let them see it because you could have made it up (not saying you did!). They would want to see prices and what's included in the package so they can come up with an offer to try to negotiate with you.

There's a huge difference between shopping as a customer and a vendor asking about the competition. I would take this as a red flag to not do business with them at all.