Cancel Wedding?????
I am getting married on Memorial Day weekend & now want to cancel. My family has not been supportive emotionally or financially. I have sent out Save the Dates but cannot bring myself to send out the invites. I am so torn. Do I have it be myself, my fiance and our son & potentially regreat not having everyone else there or regret spending $ on a celebration no one seems to care to celebrate! HELP!

Kristen
Married: 05/25/2013
Posted On: Apr 3, 2013 at 2:52 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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MrsRight
Married: 07/06/2013
Reviews: 1
Apr 03, 2013 at 2:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
have the type of marriage you want. everyone else will fall in line. if you think you're going to have regrets than do the full on ceremony/reception.

my fmil let me know how much she regretted not having a wedding but plans on doing something special for their 50th anniversary this year. i don' think my mom ever had a real wedding but she never expressed any regrets. she's also been divorced a couple times so that may be why.

Married: 07/20/2013
Reviews: 6
Apr 03, 2013 at 3:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My side of the family has not been very emotionally supportive either. But I wouldn't cancel my wedding for anything. It's not for them, it's for FH and I. If you feel that you would be more comfortable with a small, private affair, then do it. BUT you will have to call people who got STDs to explain what is happening.

As for the financially: in this day-and-age, no one, and I mean no one, is responsible for financing your wedding besides your FH and yourself. And the lack of outside funds should never be seen as a lack of caring or love.

Maybe you can postpone your wedding for a while, until you and FH have heartfelt discussions about what kind of wedding you truly want. And maybe, you also need some heartfelt conversations with family members on what you expect from them. Maybe it's just for them to check in and see how planning is going. Maybe you want some help. Most likely, they don't know these things, and may need to be told.

Good luck, and I wish you the best.

PurpleSun
Married: 09/01/2013
Reviews: 2
Apr 03, 2013 at 3:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I ditto what Trena said: "Maybe you can postpone your wedding for a while, until you and FH have heartfelt discussions about what kind of wedding you truly want. And maybe, you also need some heartfelt conversations with family members on what you expect from them. Maybe it's just for them to check in and see how planning is going. Maybe you want some help. Most likely, they don't know these things, and may need to be told."

PurpleSun
Married: 09/01/2013
Reviews: 2
Apr 03, 2013 at 3:10 PM • 
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Kristen
Married: 05/25/2013
Apr 03, 2013 at 3:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks for the posts. I am talking over with FH about it just being held the same day & just for us & he is supportive of that if it makes me happy. I know that financially it is on us & have let family members know that what if any contributed is very helpful. My issues lies with my mother offering to help financially but she has postponed until now that she may not be able to. She is financially not in distress & just wish I knew earlier so we could have planned better. That being said, shame on me for not having a back up plan. I have explained numerous times that even if financially they couldn't help just be there with me on this journey! It has been negative the whole time.

Married: 08/16/2013
Reviews: 5
Apr 04, 2013 at 11:20 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're having the exact same discussion right now. Thinking of forgoing all the pomp and circumstance for a much more low-key backyard BBQ after a courthouse ceremony. We'd much rather spend the money on a honeymoon than $500 for ceremony & $1200 for food when we're not even sure how many people we're going to invite can even come. It's much more "us" anyway & FH seems like a weight lifted off his shoulders. I never expected any family to contribute financially and they are all respectfully leaving everything to us (so far anyway), but I HAD kinda secretly hoped my mom (& stepdad, the financially solid ones) would WANT to help somewhere. But with our son, I think I needed to re-evaluate those "wedding standards" I've had since h.s. in favor of something less expensive and more low-key. =) Good luck Kristen!

Aimee
Married: 05/04/2013
Reviews: 7
Apr 04, 2013 at 11:46 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I definitely thought the same thing when we first started planning (minus the financial part). That's why I said screw having a big local wedding where everybody attends because they feel obligated and decided to have a small intimate destination wedding instead.

I couldn't be happier with my decision. The people that are attending my destination wedding are the people I expected and the people I really wanted to be there. Many people that were not able to attend have still sent gifts, love, and support, which means a lot!!

Married: 06/21/2013
Reviews: 11
Apr 04, 2013 at 3:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
HI honey. I'm sorry to hear that. Well...I have to say that I have had moments when I felt that way too. We just had to decide that no matter WHO else decided it was important, we would be happy regardless.

You have to think long-term; how would you feel if you didn't have a wedding in a few years? Do whatever you think is right for your little family...you probably know in your heart the answer. Wishing you all the best.

Kristen
Married: 05/25/2013
Apr 04, 2013 at 4:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We have decided to cancel the ceremony. I feel like I can breathe now. Honestly, it would have been nice if my mom had kept up her end of the deal financially but really it was the whole lack of participation from her and my sisters that killed me. We can financially afford the wedding I could have just budgeted better by expecting her not to contribute. A phone call asking what was happening with the wedding or a hey we are one week closer call just to let me know they cared! Why even be in my wedding if you don't make time to place a lousy phone call?!

Anyways, we are going to have it be just us that weekend with our officiant and plan an awesome honeymoon for the 3 of us. I just needed to rip that bandaid off & deal with it lol Thanks again for everyone's kind thoughts and congrats on your special days :)

Married: Recently Married
Apr 04, 2013 at 6:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Kristen, I understand what your going through. I was having the same thoughts at times bc I'm going through very similar family issues and feeling lack of support, emotion or happiness from my side of the family and when I tried to address it, it didnt turn out as I'd hoped. Anyway tht being said I decided what some other girls were saying that the day is about my FH and I and I shouldn't let anyone else bringing me down make our day any less special and full of love. I know it's difficult and upsetting but I hope you go through with your wedding and that it' ends up being all you imagined. If you ever want someone to talk to I don't mind giving you my email. Best of luck though and hang in there! :)

Wedding: 12/06/2014
Apr 05, 2013 at 9:54 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
The wedding is for you, not for them, so have it if its what you want! They aren't true family or friends if they aren't supoorting you...
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