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WWKatie
Master January 2016

BP at the Rehearsal

WWKatie, on September 1, 2015 at 3:21 PM Posted in Planning 0 43
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Did anyone not have their entire BP show up for the rehearsal? I just scheduled the time for ours with the church today and emailed the BMs and GMs right away to let them know it's going to be on Thursday afternoon, so they have 4 1/2 months notice for work. I got a response from one of the GM saying he doesn't think he'll be able to make it to FL in time.

Is it normal/okay for a BP member to miss the rehearsal? Should I be mad about this? (I'm a little annoyed, but don't know if it's justified).

43 Comments

  • Lauren B.
    Master October 2015
    Lauren B. ·
    • Flag

    I would be annoyed for sure but I know it happens. Happened to my best friend at her rehearsal in May.

    It depends on how complicated your ceremony is. Mine is a catholic wedding and I NEED them to be there. But a 10 minute ceremony? Eh it should be ok.

    • Reply
  • MrsPope
    Master September 2015
    MrsPope ·
    • Flag

    I would be annoyed, especially with that much notice. I am sure its happened before though, and someone will just need to tell them what to do.

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master April 2017
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I was MOH once and I missed the rehearsal because it was on a Thursday and I couldn't take an additional day off work and pay for another night in the hotel.

    It turned out okay, they gave me a quick run down the day of and there weren't any issues.

    • Reply
  • M
    Master July 2015
    m ·
    • Flag

    If it's a religious ceremony or a complicated location that requires them to do stuff (sit down, stand up, kneel, do a dance, I dunno) then it'd be better for them to be there, but why are you having your rehearsal on a Thursday for a Saturday wedding? If it was Friday, i'd be more annoyed, but I was just writing about how I can't do bridal party stuff for another wedding on a Thursday, because, well, life.

    • Reply
  • WWKatie
    Master January 2016
    WWKatie ·
    • Flag

    @LaurenR It's a Catholic wedding and the GM is not Catholic, so I don't think it'll be super easy to fill him in on everything - it's also a full mass, so do I have to explain all of that to him or just what he has to do?

    • Reply
  • SummerS
    Master January 2016
    SummerS ·
    • Flag

    I guess it depends on how intricate or detailed their involvement in the ceremony will be. I generally feel like as long as most of the party is there and one person has to miss it, the other GM's or BM's should be able to give them a quick run down the day of. I have one BM that I already know may not make it to mine and I get where you're coming from being a little annoyed, but I'll make sure either the DOC or my MOH gives her some instruction and a quick walk through that morning and I think everything should be ok.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    If they are flying in than i wouldnt be annoyed. They are making so much effort to come and who knows, maybe they got a better deal leaviing later on. He shouldnt miss much and i think he can follow the others lead.

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  • Allison W
    Dedicated September 2015
    Allison W ·
    • Flag

    My rehearsal is during working hours on a weekday and my two little flower girls can't make it. Their mom would let them miss school for it but its school picture day... Everyone else is able to take off work and such but when I told everyone the time I made it clear that if they couldn't take off work I would completely understand. Weekday work hours are hard even with advance notice.

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  • WWKatie
    Master January 2016
    WWKatie ·
    • Flag

    @m The church that we're getting married at told us that they only do rehearsals on Thursdays (don't even get me started, they've been a complete pain in the ass throughout this process). It worked out well though because my FMIL is trying to throw this huge rehearsal dinner and I'd rather have it on Thursday so no one is hung over for the wedding!

    • Reply
  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
    • Flag

    Oh that complicates things.. haha my GM are literally jsut standing up there.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    May 2020
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    It's walking and standing. No one needs to rehearse this.

    • Reply
  • M
    Master July 2015
    m ·
    • Flag

    I'd just let it go then, flying down a full day earlier is quite a bit to ask of someone! Missed work, different airfare, and another hotel night. He'll follow the lead, let him know what he has to do, and anything he shouldn't do, and let him know if he's confused just stand still and smile.

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  • BookcaseHat
    Master July 2017
    BookcaseHat ·
    • Flag

    I think you're totally allowed to be annoyed, but that it's also totally normal and okay. He's an adult, he'll be able to figure out when to sit/stand by watching what all the other GM are doing. It will be okay!

    Even in the best of worlds, things don't always work out. FH was a GM last year and on the way to the rehearsal we got stuck behind a huge accident on the highway. Took us over 90 minutes to travel what's typically a 20-minute drive. Several members of the bridal party missed the rehearsal altogether, and the wedding was still flawless.

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  • WWKatie
    Master January 2016
    WWKatie ·
    • Flag

    @Celia even when it's a full Catholic mass and the GM isn't Catholic? I know the actual mass itself isn't rehearsed (obviously), but during the ceremony they have to get up from the pews to the alter a few times. I guess he can just follow the lead of the other GM, but I wasn't sure what other people had experienced!

    • Reply
  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
    • Flag

    We had a whole bunch of people missing for the rehearsal (unexpectedly) for our Catholic ceremony. It complicated things a little bit but luckily we had stand ins. I didn't think of it but once we got there my priest was like ok we need stand ins right now. Honestly, if your party members have significant others, ask if they can make it and use them as stand ins. Our guys still went over early to rehearse but at least having someone physically in their spot during the rehearsal made it a lot easier. My sister's boyfriend ended up doing a "rehearsal" with the best man 30 minutes before the ceremony because he couldn't make it but at least someone knew what he was supposed to be doing.

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  • Lauren B.
    Master October 2015
    Lauren B. ·
    • Flag

    He may not care that he has no idea what is going on in mass, I would just have him filled in on what to do, where to stand and he will be able to follow as far as when to sit, stand and kneel.

    • Reply
  • WWKatie
    Master January 2016
    WWKatie ·
    • Flag

    @BookcareHat Good to know!! Smiley smile I'm happy no one has any horror stories (so far) about a member of the BP missing and then being completely lost during the ceremony!

    ETA - @Jeanne that's a great idea!! I might have FSIL's fiance stand in for him!

    • Reply
  • Lara
    Master July 2015
    Lara ·
    • Flag

    Our BM got lost and didn't make it. H was pissed, it was no big deal in the end.

    • Reply
  • Reese
    Master July 2015
    Reese ·
    • Flag

    One of our groomsmen missed the rehearsal completely. I think for the processional and stuff he should be okay missing it. Somebody will cue him when to walk and he'll get the speed from whoever he's walking with.

    For the mass, is he Catholic too? Does he really need to do anything special besides take communion (if he's allowed)? I've only been in one full mass Catholic wedding, but I really don't remember that I was actually responsible for anything different than a non-church wedding.

    ETA: Okay I just saw you said he isn't Catholic. I think he'll be fine following everyone else's lead.

    • Reply
  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
    • Flag

    I don't know if how your Catholic ceremony will be but all of the ones I've attended only the MOH and best man have "roles". My FH was just the best man in a Catholic wedding in July and he stood up there the whole time while the rest of the groomsmen sat in a pew so if the missing groomsmen is just a groomsmen he might not be missing much. Hope that helps!

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