Beginner September 2017

BAM with question about handling cut guest guilt

Heather, on December 4, 2017 at 10:05 AM Posted in Married Life

BAM! It's been a few months; we just got our Pro pics back and I'm slowly leaking them on social media. I'm feeling really awkward and not sure if I should/should not approach some FB friends who I had always had thought would be at my wedding but got cut due to how small the venue ended up being. I feel like apologizing when they make very nice comments on the pictures being posted I wanted them to be there too! Help!



  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·

    You don't owe anyone an apology. Post the photos! Pretty backdrop!

  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·

    I agree with Celia. You dont have to explain anything to anyone.

  • Wanda
    Super February 2018
    Wanda ·

    Post the photos and don't worry about it!

    I had to back-pedal recently to a cousin of mine when they asked about coming in to town for the wedding (all our guests are OOT). I said that, when we first got engaged, I was so excited and I asked for all my cousins' addresses, but when it got to the actual planning and budget stage, we just couldn't afford to properly host cousins, and were having "immediate family and close personal friends only". Note that cousins did NOT get Save-The-Dates, either, just requests for addresses about a year ago.

  • Elizabeth
    Expert April 2018
    Elizabeth ·

    Someone once apologized to me for not inviting me to his wedding. He said "I wanted to invite you, but we've just known James longer". It was like a huge slap in the face saying he invited James over me even though he wanted to invite me. And it made me feel bad for James, and made me think less of him. I'm sure he could have handled it better, but my suggestion is not to do it. No need to point out how they weren't invited. Maybe in a picture showing how small the venue is just caption is something like "the smaller venue made for an intimate setting". So without calling anyone out they can get the point that you have a limited guest list.

  • MOHx3
    Savvy July 2018
    MOHx3 ·

    Your wedding, your choices. People have smaller weddings all the time. People will get over it and be happy for you, or ignore it.

  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·

    You look beautiful! Congrats!

    You don't need to apologize, and I wouldn't say anything about them not being invited or how you wished they could be there. It doesn't sound like your friends are being petty at all over not being invited. They sound genuine and kind, and I would not ruin that by pointing out they weren't invited with an apology you don't owe and that they aren't asking for.

    If someone were expressing disappointment over not being invited, that would be the time to say that due to the size of the venue, you couldn't invite everyone that you wished you could, and you had an intimate ceremony with mostly family.

  • Summer987
    Expert May 2018
    Summer987 ·


  • RustyTheDog
    Dedicated December 2017
    RustyTheDog ·

    If it makes you feel better, with the exception of my 3 bridesmaids, for any other friend or family member, I would see wedding pictures and think "Oh I'm so happy for them! Pretty pics!" For a second I might think "man, I wasn't invited" but then I'd immediately think about the hundreds if not thousands of dollars I saved on not buying a plane ticket, hotel, gifts and then the lack of stress of not having to arrange time off work and actually be happy they didn't invite me. People ALWAYS overestimate how much people want to go to other people's weddings.

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