Vanessa
Devoted April 2015

Bachelorette/Bachelor Party Do's and Don'ts

Vanessa, on March 10, 2015 at 3:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
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What are some of the craziest things you've heard?

My FH and I are an open book with one another but some people think that there is some type of absolute nondisclosure rule when it comes to these events. We're not saying that you have to tell ALL that went down but at least the bare minimum of when/with whom should be a given, right? We heard one couple say that they didn't want to know ANYTHING the other person did (i.e. if they had a good time, if they got drunk, if they threw up etc.) we thought that was crazy!! We think you should be able to talk to your significant other about anything especially if you're entering into a marriage. How can you just say "Hey babe how was your weekend" and they say "it was cool" and that be acceptable? Meanwhile the significant other doesn't even know they had a bachelorette/bachelor party? What do you think?

it's just weird....

20 Comments

  • Charla
    Super March 2015
    Charla ·
    • Flag

    I think either extreme is a little weird. IMO you should feel comfortable talking to your spouse and you shouldn't avoid telling them anything. On the other hand I think it's important to have your own life in a way. Somethings are meant to share with your friends and your spouse doesn't NEED all the details.

    But I know I'm probably not the majority on this subject. I don't believe my FH should be my best friend either. I love him and he's one of my best friends, but I have a best friend. My MOH. We've known each other since middle school and there are parts of me that are better expressed and shared with her.

    • Reply
  • Theresa Beale
    Master November 2014
    Theresa Beale ·
    • Flag

    I find it weird as well. I didn't need to hear every detail but I was interested in what they did. In the same way, DH was interested in what we did but didn't need to hear every detail. But it was more than "It was fun/cool/etc."

    • Reply
  • JCB
    Master September 2015
    JCB ·
    • Flag

    I will probably ask how the weekend was, but don't need every detail. I trust him and his friends that they wouldn't do anything too stupid. I don't even have to ask if he threw up because I already know he will lol. I just went to my friends bachelorette and FH didn't ask me about it. If he wants to talk about it, he will ask and I will tell him anything he wants to know.

    • Reply
  • SpringBride15
    Super April 2015
    SpringBride15 ·
    • Flag

    I agree with the above ladies. FH is attending a bachelor party out of state in August for a mutual friend of ours, and the friend keeps saying "no pics, no video, no word gets out." I trust my FH and am not a jealous person, but let me hear something like that... It makes me uncomfortable! I would have had no problem him going and coming home to say "we had a fun time". But the fact that they're being weird about it makes me uncomfortable. What the hell do you guys plan to do?!

    • Reply
  • Kemmie
    VIP May 2015
    Kemmie ·
    • Flag

    An old roommate of mine stood in a wedding last summer. For the bachelorette they went to Vegas and the B2B cheated of her FH. They still got married, he never found out. I'd personally step down as a BM if the bride cheated on her bachelorette.

    • Reply
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    Yeah there's a limit to my attention span regarding something that has nothing at all to do with me. My husband didn't have a bachelor party, but he did go out drinking with a bunch of his friends the night before. I like his friends, but what they find entertaining is seriously TL;DR for me. So I no1curr about what he did or does when out with friends lol.

    • Reply
  • Chrissy
    Devoted May 2015
    Chrissy ·
    • Flag

    My FH and I talk about everything, as well. I think because we talk openly about things, we'd never do anything that the other wouldn't approve of. For instance, I asked him not drink at his bachelor party because I know how careless he can be while under the influence. He in turn asked me not to drink or at least have someone hold my credit card because I get generous when I'm under the influence.

    • Reply
  • KM
    Master March 2015
    KM ·
    • Flag

    I was totally curious about what went down. I didn't see any pictures and he didn't have much to tell me...mostly because he couldn't remember shit. Drunkass.

    • Reply
  • Vanessa
    Devoted April 2015
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag

    @Kemmie thats crazy!! definitely not a good sign

    • Reply
  • MrsPope
    Master September 2015
    MrsPope ·
    • Flag

    I think that;s very strange, especially going into a new marriage. My H and I talk about everything. We would definitely share what happened over the weekend during our bach parties.

    • Reply
  • Vanessa
    Devoted April 2015
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag

    Ahahah @KM thats soo funny!! Sounds a lot like my MOH's FH

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
    • Flag

    I trust my FH 100%. I don't need to know the itty gritty, but if he just tells me "Hey we went to (strip club here)" I wouldn't get mad. It happens. Leave it at that. Don't need to know the stripper's name, how many lap dances, or the other details. Just don't lie or try to hide it. Then it just leads to suspicion.

    But more than likely, he will probably tell me some funny or crazy story and call it a day.

    But as far as dos/dont's, I think the biggest DON'T and NOPE is when people specifically say "no strippers" and then that person's asshole friends go and get a stripper. I had a good friend who had a nightmare MOH who almost did just that. My friend did not want strippers around her for a variety of reasons besides the fact that she didn't want to be manhandled and groped by a male stripper in her living room, and came to find out that the MOH had actually had that in line to do just that. I wasn't even in her wedding party and I put a quick stop to that shit real quick. So disrespectful.

    • Reply
  • D + S
    Super October 2015
    D + S ·
    • Flag

    Lol @KM sounds like something I will be saying after FH's bach party

    • Reply
  • JCB
    Master September 2015
    JCB ·
    • Flag

    FH went to his friends bach party last year and they went to a strip club. I don't mind that they went - its not like he goes all of the time! But, I guess the groom's wife was really against it, so all the guys were told not to tell their girls so that the wife didn't find out. WELL, FH goofed and left his receipt in his pants pocket and I found it when I was doing laundry so of course had to ask him about it. He finally told me the whole story and was afraid I'd be mad. I was more mad that he didn't jus tell me!

    • Reply
  • Vanessa
    Devoted April 2015
    Vanessa ·
    • Flag

    @hanginghere we agree 100% by trying to hide it, it will only cause suspicion and lose trust when the other person finds out (which will eventually happen). In a relationship/marriage granted you dont need to know every single detail of the other persons day but there shouldn't be anything to hide unless its for a surprise for the other person :-)

    • Reply
  • Janeen
    Master January 2015
    Janeen ·
    • Flag

    I think there's a difference between hiding it and realizing that your partner doesn't need to know every detail. I don't think anyone here has said that they are okay with their husband's hiding anything. There's just a few of us here two honest to god don't care for the details.

    • Reply
  • OG FMP
    Master August 2015
    OG FMP ·
    • Flag

    Some fellas went to a Bachelor party and the FH ended up going home with the stripper. Even after he got married he still "hung out" with the stripper every now and then .... SAD!

    • Reply
  • Ostrich
    Master April 2016
    Ostrich ·
    • Flag

    We have a joint savings account so as long as a grand isn't mysteriously missing, I'm not going to ask too many questions/nor do i care. I've seen him out with friends so many times/had him drunk text me when I'm not there equally many times that my FH drunk is nothing new to me..

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
    • Flag

    Oh for sure @Janeen. Hiding to me is the purposeful attempt to make sure the other person doesn't find out. Not caring to know or not asking doesn't equal hiding in my book.

    • Reply
  • OG FMP
    Master August 2015
    OG FMP ·
    • Flag

    FH and I talk about everything, but there are things we don't need to discuss - like Janeen said we don't need to discuss every single little detail.

    • Reply

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