HowCo Industries
VIP September 2018

Answering kids about their invitation

HowCo Industries, on June 10, 2018 at 11:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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Had a wonderful weekend with the FHs family! Their was a gradation party at a beach house and we all had a blast. We only had a couple questions about the wedding, but most of them were from the kids. One asked if they were invited and another responded, with absolute certainty, "Of course we are! We're going to be her neices!" Well, she's right! We are absolutely inviting children, but I immediately thought of this forum and how many people aren't inviting children. How are you dealing with those sweet little faces?! Or are your little friends and relatives less forward than ours?


  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    Weddings are adult events in our social circle so it's not an issue. There are many events we attend without our children so they would never think that they should be invited to an evening affair.

    If those sweet little faces were my children and I was present, I would make it a teachable moment, and have a discussion about how rude it was of them to even raise the issue and put someone on the spot like that. One should never ask the host of any event if you are invited.

    • Reply
  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
    • Flag

    We honestly never had any little kids ask - then again we are bit older and our friends don't have kids. I am pretty blunt and I would have said, in a nice way, "Look our venue caps at fifty, we have to trim someplace."

    We had kids at my first wedding, though. I guess it depends where you are in your life with family, friends and kids.

    • Reply
  • C
    Devoted November 2023
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    In my family kids are always invited so it isn't even a question.
    • Reply
  • Erika
    Expert April 2019
    Erika ·
    • Flag
    We are compromising with ages 12 and up. Only two will be 12 and the rest are older teenagers. The younger ones aren't concerned with it at all, really. Their parents asked but then were ok because they didn't want to be drinking in front of their little kiddos anyway.
    • Reply
  • Malwen107
    VIP October 2018
    Malwen107 ·
    • Flag

    I don't consider them sweet little faces, and we are just inviting people we want there. Adults can find arrangements or don't have to come. Honestly, the people who have more than 3 kids we just aren't inviting.

    • Reply
  • RH912
    Devoted July 2018
    RH912 ·
    • Flag

    I originally wanted a kid free wedding, but then everybody kept getting We are not putting any restrictions on our guests and trusting them to keep kids in check. We are also providing kids activity kits so we'll see. Not dwelling on it.

    • Reply
  • Felisha
    Dedicated May 2019
    Felisha ·
    • Flag
    We have four kids of our own. There is about a handful of people in our families that will be bringing their kids. I don’t mind kids and we have fh’s two cousins who will watch the maybe seven kids under 11. Most will be adults who need babysitters.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    Dedicated August 2018
    Lauren ·
    • Flag
    I will have kids at my wedding. I’ve worked with kids forever and have known the kids coming for most of their lives. They’re practically family. It is understandable for a kid to not understand etiquette. But my problem has been the self inviting adults. Luckily their faces aren’t precious so it’s easier for me to correct them.
    • Reply
  • P
    Super January 2019
    PalmTrees ·
    • Flag
    I was glad my fi’s nieces didn’t mention it at his nephew’s grad party today. If we were doing a regular wedding they’d be in it and all that, adults-only weddings aren’t a thing around here. But we are getting married at the courthouse. Most likely with just my daughter and our parents. His mom did make a joke to his sister though when his sister asked about plans (we’re not telling anyone any plans even once we set a date) about that we have the plans but they’re just not invited. I laughed but I’m thinking ummm pretty close! Definitely was glad the little girls weren’t around for any wedding discussion though.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Expert May 2018
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol same! But honestly between everyone we invited, they only had 8 kids that I can think of between them, and 1 was old enough like 18 that we wouldn’t have minded him to attend but his dad didn’t want to bring him. Anyway they are all children far away and so we didn’t have to explain to any sweet or unsweet faces.

    How it shook out:

    Couple with 2 kids (1 of which was the teenager above)- DH male cousin came and his wife stayed home with the kids.

    couple with 2 kids- DH male friend came and his wife stayed home with the kids.

    Single mom with 1 kid-DH female friend did not attend.

    couple with 2 kids- my cousin and his wife both did not come. They are long distance and not in financial position to travel anyway.

    couple with 1 baby-my sister in law case and her husband stayed home with the baby. They are also long distance and we offered for him to come to the rehearsal dinner and an onsite babysitter to them to be in another room during the wedding but they also blamed finances for not all coming. This one was sad because I did want to meet my brother in law and their baby.
    • Reply
  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
    • Flag
    Fortunately, it’s not an issue bc children at a wedding are not common in our circle. No one expects their children to be invited. And the children definitely have not asked.
    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated November 2014
    Mandy ·
    • Flag

    I had no kids at my wedding--the event was formal and started at 6pm, and just wasn't a kid-friendly event. Neither was the rehearsal dinner (because if you're not invited to the wedding, you shouldn't be invited to the rehearsal!). My sis-in-law, who had no kids except her own in her own wedding a few years earlier, was VERY against the idea of me not inviting her kids (my niece and nephews). She basically had her kids groomed to ask me why they weren't invited, it was so pathetic (on her part, not the kids...they were innocent pawns).

    Anyway, it was easy to explain to the kids that not all events are right for kids. It really was no issue with the kids at all, they understand stuff like that. They know their parents go places all the time without them, because not everyplace is right for kids. My sis-in-law was the issue, not the kids!

    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    There are no small children in our social circle so there were no "sweet little faces" to say No to. Though I think it's quite rude for that to come up that way. It sounds quite staged, like the parents were already talking to their children about your wedding anyway.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Exactly this.

    • Reply
  • SoKatiiee
    Devoted June 2018
    SoKatiiee ·
    • Flag

    I had this happen but not with family- with one of the students in my children's ministry. They were invited to the ceremony and mini reception, but not the large reception (as I couldn't have possibly gotten everyone there). One of my flower girls (whose close with her) said something to this other little girl about dancing later after "Miss Katie gets married". I had to take control of the situation there and told them lovingly and kindly that some people weren't going to be able to make it to the reception with dancing. I then talked to my flower girl privately explaining what was going on and the issue was squashed. Smiley smile

    • Reply

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